Princess Charming
by Wayfarer23
Summary: This is the story of how Hanna Marin met her Princess Charming in third grade. How will develop their relationship through the years? What their friends and families think of them? How they all get involved? How can Spence be so charming? Seriously. Basically a Spanna love story, with lots of fluff and fun stuff and not too much angst along the way. Hopefully. Give it a chance.
1. Once upon a time, there were these girls

**Author note:** Hey there!This is my first attempt ever at writing a fanfiction, also it's the first work I decided to publish so far. So, I hope that whomever will take the time to read this will have a good time. I'm absolutely open to any sort of criticism, even mean ones, provided they have a purpose – that's it. Oh, English is not my first language so please, forgive me for any linguistic outrage I involuntarily committed. 

**Disclaimer: I don't own any character present in this story. I'm only borrowing them for some fun.**

 _Rosewood, September 2001_

 **[Marin's household]**

It was a beautiful sunny day in Rosewood and, although it was still early in the morning, the air was nicely warm. Oddly enough, the chirping of the birds was the only sound coming from outside, and Ashley Marin was sitting on a barstool by the kitchen counter sipping her coffee and highly enjoying what is the definition of a peaceful morning. That was until…

"HANNA! GET UP, NOW!" shouted a voice that belonged to her husband, Tom. "You don't want to be late on your first day of school, little girl", barked again the man.

Ashley slowly opened her eyes, taking a moment to brace herself before she made her way upstairs in order to deal with her stubborn daughter and her infuriating husband.

"I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL. I WANNA STAY HOME WITH MOMMY!" Hanna cried, "AND I'M NOT A LITTLE GIRL!"

 _So much for a quiet morning,_ Ashley thought to herself, rolling her eyes…

 **[Meanwhile, at the Hasting's]**

It was a beautiful sunny day in Rosewood. It was also the first day of school in the new town for the Hastings girls. They transferred here at the beginning of summer from Philly and they already had settled in to their new life. A much more quiet one, her parents claimed.

Spencer made her way downstairs, where her parents were already having breakfast with her older sister Melissa; she greeted them and took a seat at the table. She grabbed a plate of pancakes and poured herself some orange juice.

"So Spence, are you excited for your first day?" asked her father. "Now that you're all grown up you're going to have so much more responsibilities, do you feel ready?" He asked with a bit of a condescending tone. Although he wasn't the most attentive of the parents, Peter knew his daughter, and how she always wants to be treated like an adult. Or at least he thought so.

"Oh please, dad. It's only 3rd grade!" Melissa scoffed. She didn't like it very much when her parent's attention wasn't on her.

Spencer shyly bowed her head at her sister's words, slightly hurt by her behavior; then she raised it again and looked at her father, her eyes shining with emotion: "Yes dad, actually I can't wait to start school. I'm going to learn a lot of interesting things, and play sports, and make new experiences. I'm going to enjoy every minute of it. And I'll be the best at everything!" She announced somewhat confidently, hoping to make her parents proud of her.

"Ahah, very good champ! That's how a real Hastings talk" her father praised, winking at her. "I'm sure that you'll do great, after all you have an excellent role model in your sister. Don't hesitate to go to her if you need anything, she'll be there for you. Right, Mel?" Peter prodded her eldest daughter expectantly.

"Of course" Melissa replied with the sweetest smile she could plaster.

"I'm sure she will" Spencer muttered under her breath. "Thank you Mel. I'm really grateful" she then offered graciously, if nothing else to politeness sake.

"Alright then, shall we go? It's getting late…" Veronica finally spoke up; apparently she just came back from wherever her mind had drifted off. "I'll drive you today, girls. Come on, hurry up".

Spencer stood and went to grab her backpack. When she turned around her mother and her sister were already ahead of her and outside in the driveway; she sighed and started walking toward the car.

 _Well, off to a great start…_

 **[Rosewood's Elementary School]**

Of course, little Spencer was the first one to arrive to her classroom. She beat even her teacher, not that it was _that_ surprising. She was a Hastings, after all. Punctuality was one of their oh so many merits. So, after taking a peek at her surroundings she decided to sat in a desk at the very front row, and began to read a book she had with her. She was so absorbed in her reading that she didn't notice at first that other children were now occupying the room. They were animatedly talking to each other, telling great stories about their summer vacations in which she wasn't interested. At all.

Suddenly, a loud scream pierced the air and Spencer jumped a little, startled. Desperate cries followed until they subsided abruptly. Moments later, a small girl with blonde hair and big, puffy blue eyes was on the door. " _She must be the source of all that turmoil",_ Spencer thought to herself while returning to her book. However, for some reason her gaze kept going back to that kid, whom now was quietly sitting in the far back of the classroom, alone. She looked sad, and upset. And… pissed? Yep, she was definitely pissed. Spencer couldn't help but notice how the blonde little girl was clutching the stuffed animal (it looked like a bunny but she wasn't sure) she had with herself to her chest, her knuckles white from the pressure she was exercising and her hands slightly shaking. She seemed kind of nervous, too. " _Ugh, she's there all alone and no one of the other kids seems to care. Maybe I should go talk to her";_ Spencer was about to stand up when the teacher finally decided to make an appearance. " _Well, I guess it's too late now"._ So instead she turned toward the blackboard - where her teacher was writing her name on - and put aside her plan, concentrating instead on the lesson that was about to start.

It was recess time, and the kids were all taking a well deserved break. Miss Reynolds insisted that they all went out to the courtyard, so Spencer was kind of forced to follow. Luckily she had the good sense to bring that book with her, because she had no intentions of playing stupid games for children with the others. She noticed however that she wasn't alone: another girl had the same thought. Actually, she was now approaching her with a book in her hands and a big smile on her face.

"Hi, my name is Aria. I see you like to read too?" the girl smiled warmly at her. She had big, beautiful hazel/green eyes.

"Hello, I'm Spencer. Yes, indeed; It's one of my favorite hobbies" Spencer replied, shrugging a little.

Aria stared oddly at her for a few seconds, then smiled again and sat down next to Spencer. They talked some more, getting to know each other and soon enough they became friends.

"Hey Spence, would you like to come to m…" Aria was cut off in the middle of her sentence by a loud thump and a yelp of pain.

"Ooouuuch" the blonde girl from earlier cried. She was face down on the ground, and Spencer noticed that her knee was scratched and bleeding. An older boy was standing in front of her, and they were surrounded by a bunch of kids; among them were Melissa Hastings. They were all laughing at the girl on the ground, whose face was now covered with mud. The younger Hastings felt a sudden rush of anger coming through her at the sight; she excused herself from Aria and she made her way through the crowd until she reached the poor girl.

"Hey, here. Let me help you." Spencer said, holding out her hand. Hanna took it a little hesitant, but also grateful. For a moment they locked eyes, and she found herself unable to look away from those big, chocolate eyes that held so much intensity in their gaze. She smiled a little, and was inexplicably happy when the other girl returned the gesture with such a softness that left her at a loss for words. The brown haired girl's expression, however, turned all too soon into a mask of fury when she turned around to face the tall boy who had pushed her earlier. She got even more angry when he started to laugh, along with the others;

"Oink! Oink! Now Hefty Hanna looks even more like a pig!" the boy laughed together with the others. Hanna was now sobbing hard, her face hidden between her hands.

Spencer saw red. She didn't know why, but she was beyond pissed now and she felt this need to protect the smaller girl behind her. They were still laughing at Hanna's expense and calling her names when suddenly Spencer launched herself at the boy and punched him in the face, knocking him to the ground, despite being evidently smaller than him.

She kneeled beside him and growled in his ear: "If I catch you again tormenting my friend I'll make you pay, got it?" The boy vigorously nodded his head and gulped. Then ran away with his tail between his legs, the other kids following. Only Melissa remained there, silently watching Spencer handing the blonde a handkerchief to wipe her face with. The two sisters had an intense glaring contest for a few seconds, before Melissa too went away.

"Uhm, thank you. For what you did… and also… thank you!" the blonde said. "I'm Hanna, by the way".

"Oh, yeah… of course! Sorry, I'm Spencer. Spencer Hastings. And you don't need to thank me, really." The brunette smiled softly.

"I like your name!" Hanna blurted out without thinking. Then blushed, furiously.

"Yeah… it's not very common for girls, but thanks".

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. In that moment Aria approached the pair, with a tall brunette beside her.

"Hey Spence, that was awesome! You were great! That Chuck guy is a real moron, he deserved a lesson" She exclaimed. "Oh, this is my friend Emily. Em, this is the new girl I was telling you about, Spencer".

Emily offered her hand to the other brunette: "It's very nice to meet you" They smiled at each other.

"Oh, I don't know if you guys know each other, however this is Hanna" Spencer pointed to the smaller girl and they all exchanged pleasantries and small talk.

Recess came to an end and the four of them returned to their classroom, each one of them happy to have made a new friend.

 **[Later that night, Marin's household]**

"Aaww, I looove Disney's movies! Thank you mommy for watching them with me" Hanna smiled brightly to her mother, making a show of her dimples.

"Of course you do!" The redhead chuckled to her daughter's antics. "So… want to tell me what happened that made you so happy? You were so distressed this morning and now you can't literally stop smiling" _Not that I'm complaining,_ Ashley thought to herself.

"Well… I think I met my princess charming" Hanna sighed, an enamored, dreamy expression on her face. Just thinking about her knight in blue dress and white cardigan made her all giddy inside.

"Oh, really now?" Ashley smirked. Then: "Wait, WHAT?" She exclaimed, slightly shocked by this admission.

No need to say that that night Mrs. Marin had a long conversation with her daughter about this Spencer girl who had stolen her little angel's heart. And, if what Hanna told her about how they met was true, she couldn't be more happy. At least, she knows that with Spencer she's always going to be safe.


	2. Valentine sweethearts

**AN:** To anyone who has bothered to take a look at this work; to anyone who is following or has inserted this story among their favorites; to _Momma Duck_ and _TheMidnightSociety_ for their incredibly kind words and the reassurances on my English ( TheMidnightSociety, believe it or not I'm actually Italian xD) a huge Thank You! It means a lot to me. I hope I won't disappoint you with the next chapters. Please, let me know your opinion so far or if there is something you would like me to insert here or there, and I promise I will try. That being said, let's go on…

Ps: I realized that the date in the previous chapter was wrong, I tried to update but it won't change. From here on I'll pay more attention, but just so you know the current year is 2003 and the girls are in 3rd grade. Next chapter there will be a time skip.

 _Rosewood, February 2003_

Sometimes it's strange how time seems to pass so fast. Even if you're just a kid, it's surprisingly easy to come to such a realization when you find out that tomorrow will be Valentine's Day and the one person (well, not really a person yet… more likely a girl around your age) you couldn't get off of your mind for months now, is ignoring you and only God knows why. Hanna was on the verge of throwing a tantrum: since that day in the courtyard when Spencer rescued her from Chuck, they had been on good terms. They weren't really friends, but they talked everyday, they even had lunch together a few times, along with Aria and Emily. But after a few weeks Spencer began to give her the cold shoulder, and now she just couldn't take it anymore; she was just so infatuated with this girl who had been so kind with her, that she had to do something, anything to make things better. She wanted nothing more than to be her friend. At least for now. The only problem was, she didn't know how…

When Spencer entered the classroom that morning, she did not realize immediately what a fateful day actually was; not until she reached her desk, that was now covered by chocolates and cards of every sorts and shape. With a scowl she turned on her heels and went to the bathroom. At almost nine years old, Spencer Hastings hated wholeheartedly this charade that normal people called "Valentine's Day".

When she returned, however, she catched a glimpse of the one blonde girl that was always in her thoughts. She was looking intently at Spencer's desk –actually, it was more like she was trying to set it on fire whit some sort of laser glare – and she looked kind of dejected. " _Maybe she's sad because she didn't get anything",_ Spencer pondered, sitting down this time. And soon enough boys and girls were all over her, trying to chat her up. _"What is it exactly that I did_ _to deserve this torture?!"_ She quietly growled. She glanced again in Hanna's direction and noticed that she was now in full talk with Emily and Aria. _"At least she's not alone anymore"._

"She's still not talking to you, uh?" Emily asked sympathetically.

"Nope" Hanna sighed, resting her head on her desk. "I thought she was different from the others, guess I was wrong. She doesn't see me, just like everyone else".

"But that time she was the only one to come to help you. If it wasn't for Spencer, we wouldn't even be friends now. Uff, I don't get it!" Aria exclaimed frustrated. The truth was that all three of them liked Spencer and wanted to be friends with her; they actually thought they were at one point. But then the preppy girl became elusive and all too soon they drifted apart.

"Whatever! Who cares anyway? It's her loss" the blonde angrily stated.

"I thought you liked her…" Emily muttered.

Hanna glared at her but said nothing, returning her head on her spot on the desk with a soft growl. She spent the rest of the day that way.

Hanna was standing in front of the school gates, waiting for her mother to come and pick her up. Her cheeks were red from the cold and she was shivering. She felt a hand on her shoulder and when she turned around she was met with a pair of brown eyes she knew all too well.

"Uhm, are you ok?" Spencer asked her, slightly worried. "If you need a ride I can ask my mother to give you one" she added.

Hanna stared a long moment at her in complete silence, then exhaled: "No, thank you. My mom's on her way already".

"Uh, ok. Then I'll wait with you?" It came off more like a question.

"Are you sure you want to be seen with me?" Hanna barked. The brunette jumped a little at that. "Because I'm not sure that I want to be seen with a jerk face". The normally shy and quiet blonde really didn't know where all this sudden burst of confidence came from; maybe the pain makes you brave.

"Look Hanna, I'm really sorry. I know I've been a jerk to you but you have to believe me, I didn't want to. I really like you, and the others too, but my sister told my father what happened that day and he banned me from hang out with you guys and I can't disobey him and I'm so, so sorry" Spencer blurted all out without taking a breath. She really was feeling bad for how she had behaved towards Hanna and the other girls.

She then noticed that the smaller girl was shaking, she was probably freezing; she took off her scarf and wrapped it around Hanna's neck.

"What are you doing?" Said girl asked, her cheeks now even more reddened, and not from the cold.

"You're freezing. Here, take those chocolates, that'll help warm you up a bit" Spencer said, handing out all the bars she collected from her "suitors" at school.

Hanna eyed her carefully, but she happily took the treats nonetheless.

"Just so you know, this is not a bribe"

"A what?" the blonde asked confused, scrunching her nose and furrowing her eyebrows. Spencer found her adorable.

"Nevermind" she smiled at the smaller girl.

After a few minutes, a horn break the silence. It was Ashley Marin.

"That's my mom" Hanna said. "Do you need a lift?"

"No thanks, my mom is on her way. Besides, I don't think you want your mom meet this jerk face" Spencer joked. Hanna looked down for a second, biting her lips, then suddenly she leaned forward and kissed Spencer softly on her cheek.

"You're forgiven" she said softly. "Only because of the chocolate" she winked.

"So it was really a bribe, after all…" Spencer mused.

"Again, what?"

"Nothing. You should go, your mother is waiting" Spencer wrapped her arms around Hanna's waist and whispered in her ear " Happy Valentine's Day, Han".

"H-Happy Valentine's Day, S-Spence…" Hanna murmured.

They simultaneously let go of the other and, with a last wave at the brunette, the blonde walked away and towards her mother's car.

"So I guess that was the infamous Spencer…" Ashley said to her daughter, her voice tinged with mirth. The only reaction she got from her child was an exaggerated eye roll. The redhead decided she could have a little fun: "She seems nice. When are you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?"

"MOOOM!"

And they both burst out laughing.


	3. Something else

**An:** Greypedia, thank you so much, I certainly will. Actually, I have planned out about twenty chapters in total for this story, but if you have any request I'm absolutely open to suggestions. Thanks for sticking with me.

 **P.S.:** _ **No "Titanic" fan was harmed during the writing of this chapter (Don't worry, you'll get it later).**_

 _Rosewood, May 2005_

The four girls were currently hanging out at the Hasting's house. They were now eleven years old and about to finish 5th grade. And they were inseparable. It took a while, and a lot of pressure from Spencer in order to convince him that she was not under the influence of bad companies, like her sister sneakily had made him believe, but finally Peter accepted her younger daughter's friends and actually both him and his wife warmed up to them. Even with Melissa things were going better these days.

Spencer was playing the piano; she had a recital on Saturday night and she spent the last two weeks practicing almost non-stop. She really was pouring her heart in this.

"She plays so beautifully" Hanna remarked to her other two friends. They were all spread out on the couch in the living room, reading magazines or playing with their phones while listening the touching melody the brunette was executing.

"It's almost magical" Aria agreed, charmed by the softness of the notes.

After a while the music came to an end and the brunette stood up from her seat at the piano and joined her friends on the couch.

"So, what do you think?" She asked them with a bit of apprehension.

"You did great, Spence, don't stress too much. You're going to kill it" Emily replied.

Spencer smiled gratefully at her friend and she finally allowed herself to relax a little.

They were watching a movie when Spencer's phone started to vibrate; she excused herself and went to another room to take the call. When, after a good half hour she was nowhere to be seen, Aria decided to go after her. She searched in every room downstairs and when she found nothing, she made her way upstairs into Spencer's bedroom. There she found her, sitting crouched on the bed with her back against the headboard and her knee pulled to her chest, her head resting on them. She had been there crying the whole time.

"Aw sweetie, what happened?" the petite brunette asked to her best friend.

"Nothing that I shouldn't have expected. My parents cannot make it to the recital" the other brunette said. "It's fine, really. You'd think by now I should have learned the lesson…" She added.

"I'm sorry, Spence. I know how much effort you put in it and how much you cared about this" Aria offered sincerely.

"Yeah… well, at least you guys will be there, right?" Spencer asked sheepishly.

"Hey, of course we will be there! There's just no way we'd be missing it" Aria nudged her a little, resting her head on her shoulder.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me" the tall brunette smiled softly. "Alright, I think we should return downstairs before Em and Han send a search party".

"Yeah", they both chuckled at that.

The pair returned to their spot on the couch and exchanged an accomplice look.

"Uhm, is everything alright?" Hanna asked warily.

"Perfect" Spencer smiled, sliding her arm on the blonde's shoulder holding her close.

If Hanna wanted to add something, she now couldn't: her brain was in overload from the warmth of their embrace, and she just forgot about anything else. So, at a loss for words, she did the only sensible thing that came to her mind, she snuggled even closer to Spencer.

 **[Saturday night, after the recital. Montgomery's household]**

"Girls, why don't you make yourself comfortable and decide what movie we are going to watch while I'll go make some popcorn?" Ella suggested to her daughter and her friends. She graciously accepted Aria's request to host a sleepover that evening. She, Emily and Hanna came up with that idea in order to cheer up Spencer, whom was still sad about the absence of her family at her event, even though she wouldn't admit it. Her husband Byron was in Syracuse, so she figured she could use some company for the night. That's why she invited over Ashley Marin and Pam Fields as well.

"Mrs. Montgomery, I would like to thank you for the hospitality" Spencer said reverently, ever the polite one.

"Sweetie, it's my pleasure believe me" The older woman smiled kindly at the little girl. "She's such a sweetheart" she then said, turning to face the other women, who nodded in agreement.

"True. I'm glad our daughters grew so close, I never saw Hanna more happy than she is now. She was always a bright child, but she was also so timid and insecure. Actually, Spencer helped her a lot to come out of her shell, along with Aria and Emily of course. They developed such a beautiful friendship" Mrs. Marin considered quietly while sipping her wine.

"You're right, I noticed that too with Emily. Well, to our wonderful daughters" Pam raised her glass in a toast.

"To our girls!" The other two moms chorused.

"Hey mom, are the popcorn ready? We already put on the movie!" Aria's voice echoed from the living room.

"Coming!" Ella yelled back. Each woman grabbed a bowl of popcorn before making their way in the other room. They found their respective daughters sitting on a couch, eager to start the movie; Spencer and poor little Mike, unwilling bystander of this madness called "girl night", were sitting on the floor right in front of the girls, the biggest scowls planted on their faces.

"Uh… is something wrong? Why those dark expressions you guys?" Mrs. Montgomery ventured.

"They are making us watch Titanic" Mike exclaimed skeptically, pointing toward her sister and her accomplices with a hard glare.

"Democracy is _so_ overrated" Spencer offered her two cents.

"I don't think I'll ever understand you women. How can you watch such sappy crap?" the little boy asked rather seriously.

"That's a good question, actually. One I'm afraid I don't have an answer to…" the skeptical brunette said, panic raising in her voice at the thought that she actually couldn't provide an answer. "Oh my God, I can't understand them either, and I'm supposed to be one of _them_ " She was now hyperventilating.

The three women looked at each other for a moment, eyebrows comically raised in stupor. Than they burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Oooh will you two just shut up? Dude, are you for real? This movie is a masterpiece. And it's so romantic" Hanna sighed.

"Yeah, right. A spoiled woman met the man of her dreams, fell madly in love with him and then let him die because she's too self-centered to think that maybe on that piece of wood, which Jack selflessly gave up to her, there's enough room for two if she ever considered to shove over her lazy butt. How romantic" Spencer mocked rolling her eyes. "If you carefully consider it, Rose is like one of the biggest villain ever" She finally put an end to her outburst, living her audience exchanging wary glances with mouths slightly agape, while Mike snickered and offered her a high-five.

"Wow, remember me to buy you a pair of pink glasses for your birthday" Aria said after a moment.

"Yeah, you could totally use it" Hanna butted in.

"Nah, I'll pass thanks. I prefer to stick with my own personal vision of the world" the brunette stated somewhat proudly.

"… Spence" Emily was still stunned, she needed a second to compose herself "if you need to talk about whatever is… upsetting you, I'm here. We're all here, you know" She prodded with a sincere although small smile.

"Em, you too now?! Ugh, whatever. I give up. Let's just watch this thing" the young Hastings surrendered.

Ella, Ashley and Pam all shook their heads in amusement at the girls antics. _They really are something else…_


	4. Camping, fights and confessions Part I

**An:** Momma Duck, thank you so much! I'm glad you're liking the story, I hope that won't change ;) I'm also glad you had fun reading the last chapter; when I manage to make you smile, or cry, or feel something, to me it means that I did right and that's a huge satisfaction. Thank you all for reading and hopefully enjoying this story. Here's a new chapter, if you feel like it let me know what you think.

 _Hastings' Cabin, June 2007 [Part I]_

Summer had finally come, marking the end of their second year in middle school. To celebrate, the five girls decided to spend a week at the Hastings' lake house. It took a while to persuade their parents, but at the end they agreed – mostly because, surprisingly enough, Veronica Hastings offered to accompany the girls and keep an eye on them during their stay. To be honest, they had to give a lot of credit to Alison's ability to talk their way into this trip. There was just something about that girl that granted her to get away with almost anything. It was astonishing, to say the least.

Spencer, Aria, Hanna and Emily met her the first day of 6th grade; her family was originally from Rosewood, but up until then they had lived in Chicago. They didn't hit it off at first, Alison gave off a bit of a snobbish vibe. She appeared unattainable. Alison was the kind of person who carefully picked the people she surrounded herself with, never the other way around. And that was evident in her demeanor. They learned early in their relationship with the young Dilaurentis that she could made you feel like some sort of prodigy, the chosen one; or she could made your life hell. Everyone at school soon learned that you could love her, hate her or be afraid of her, but you could never ignore her. So, when Alison started to befriend them, they couldn't help but feel ecstatic. And, all in all, Ali was a great friend when she wanted to be, and your best ally. She was someone Spencer could compete with, both intellectually and athletically; she had good taste in fashion, she had always good advices to dispense if you needed one, especially when they involved boys (or girls). And to Emily, she was the sweetest creature alive. From time to time she was a major bitch too, but rarely anyone dared to point it out.

"I don't understand why you are insisting so much to pitch a tent here when we have four very comfortable bedrooms in the cabin" Mrs. Hastings groaned a bit exasperated. Camping was not her thing.

"Yeah, me neither" Hanna immediately agreed. Emily and Spencer rolled their eyes simultaneously. They were doing all the hard work, after all.

"Because it's summertime, the weather is nice and we like being outside. Besides, it's not like you'd sleep in here too, so…" the brunette retorted to her mother.

"Fine, suit yourselves. Let me know if you change your mind. I'll leave you to your things then, I'll be inside if you need me" Veronica said heading towards the house.

"Sure, thanks mom!"

"Thank you Mrs. Hastings!" the girls yelled in unison.

"Hey, let's go sunbathing on the shore" Alison suggested to Aria and Hanna; "You two can come join us when you're done" she turned to the others with a sweet smile. "Alright, see you later" she said when they agreed, then sauntered away.

A few hours later they went back to the cabin for lunch. They were having a good time so far, eating and chatting amiaby with each other, when the mood suddenly shifted due to a snide remark Alison made towards Hanna.

"Han, havent'you had enough food? If you keep eating like this you won't be able to enter the tent tonight" she said slightly disgusted.

An uncomfortable silence fell in the room, and they all stopped eating. The chubby girl dropped her fork and bowed her head in utterly embarassment.

"Ali" Spencer said through gritted teeth, "that was uncalled for and incredibly rude. You have to apologize, now!" she barked.

"What for? I'm only beeing a good friend watching out for her" the blonde queen bee replied dismissively. "You know that, right honey?" She asked rethorically.

"Y-yeah… yes, I know Ali. I g-guess you're r-right…" Hanna stuttered bashfully. "It's okay, Spence…" she added with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I think I need to get fresh air, excuse me" she stood up abruptly and ran outside.

Spencer stood up, ready to go after her, when Alison's voice made her stop in her track

"Let her be. I don't think she wants you to see her while she get rid of her lunch" the blonde affirmed derisively.

In that moment, Spencer wanted nothing more than to swipe the smirk off of the bitchy blonde's face, but the thought immediately abandoned her mind once she realized where her priorities really laid. And so she took off to chase her distressed friend, leaving everything else behind. She hurried outside but Hanna was nowhere to be seen. She started calling out for her but to no avail. She wondered around, looking everywhere and shouting her name, until she heard a loud grunt coming from the wood. Alarmed, she ran toward the source of the noise until she made out the silhouette of her friend sitting on the ground, leaning against a tree. With a sigh of relief, the brunette started to walk in her direction.

"There you are, Forrest Gump!" She lightly jocked, approaching the blonde, but stopped smiling when she noticed that her friend seemed to be in physical pain. "Hey, what's wrong?" She asked.

"I tripped on a branch while I was running" Hanna mumbled; "My ankle hurts" she wailed pitifully.

Spencer knelt in front of her and examined her foot carefully.

"Doesn't seem broken; Probably it's sprained, though" she considered. She was still crouching when she turned her back on the blonde. She frowned when a few minutes passed and neither of them moved.

"Han, whatcha doin'?"

"What?" the other girl asked confused.

"Come on, we don't have all day! We need to put ice on your ankle. Put your hands on my shoulders and hold on to me, I'll carry you since you can't walk"

"Wha-? Spencer, you can't give me a piggy back ride!" Hanna blurted out incredulously.

"Why not? You have a better idea?" the brunette retorted. "The more we wait, the more it'll swell…"

"Spence seriously, that's ridiculous…"

"You know what is ridiculous? That you're wasting your time arguing with me. Now, hop up"

"No"

"Argh, stop being such a child! Why do you have to be so damn stubborn, uh?" Spencer raised her voice, she was starting to lose it.

"Because!" Hanna shouted. "You don't understand. Just, leave me here and go away"

"As if I could ever do such a thing" Spencer snorted. "Han, what's the matter?" she asked gently.

"I'm too heavy, okay? I don't want you to hurt your back because of me, and that is what is gonna happen if you carry me, because I'm fat and too heavy. There, are you satisfied now?" The blonde snapped, finally voicing her concerns. Spencer's gaze softened considerably, and she felt a wave of emotions rushing through her; sympathy, tenderness, protectiveness, love for the girl in front of her. And anger, raw blind fury towards Alison, and Hanna's father, and the kids at school, and anyone who has ever hurt her friend, who has ever made her feel like she wasn't enough.

"You silly girl" Spencer sighed. "Han, you really shouldn't underestimate me" she smirked. She reached behind her back to grab both Hanna's wrists, placing them on her shoulders.

"I'm going to stand up now" she announced to the blonde, giving her time to steady herself. She got up and Hanna quickly wrapped her legs around Spencer's waist, her arms tightening the grip around the taller girl's neck. Spencer quickly put her hands under Hanna's knees and shrugged a little to adjust their position.

"See, you didn't break me" Spencer let out a chuckle; "Now, do you trust me?" she asked earnestly.

"Always" Hanna whispered soflty.

"Good" said Spencer, starting to heading back to the cabin.

"Spence?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you"

"Don't sweat it! I told you Han, it's not a big deal" Spencer reassured her.

"No, I mean yes, for the ride too but what I wanted to say is thank you. For stooding up for me with Ali, and for always being there for me" the blonde said, her voice cracking with emotion.

"Anytime, Han. Anytime". And she meant it.


	5. Camping, fights and confessions Part II

_Hastings' Cabin, June 2007 [Part II]_

Aria and Emily were sitting on the porch steps while Alison stood in front of them; they were worried for their friends, who have been missing for over an hour now.

"Guys, there!" Emily said when she raised her head and spotted the two a few feet away from the cabin. She got up and ran off in their direction, along whith the smaller brunette.

"Hey what happend?"

"Hanna are you hurt?" they asked at the same time.

"Yeah, I tripped and I think I sprained my ankle" Hanna explained.

"Oh Hanna, you can be such a klutz…" Ali said affectionately. The others exchanged glances at this but didn't bother to say anything; Spencer glared her way once more before resuming her walk, still carrying the injured girl on her back, with their friends following behind.

She made her way inside the house and gently laid Hanna down on the couch. She then went to take some ice to put on her foot.

"Here" she said, handing to her friend the ice wrapped in a towel. Hanna took it and nodded in silent appreciation.

"Where is my mom?" the tall brunette asked Aria.

"She had some work-related stuff to do so she went upstairs. She said she'd be back before dinner" the shorty girl replied.

"Figures…" Spencer grumbled. "Ar, could you please keep an eye on Hanna, see if she need anything? Em, you too please. Alison, we need to talk" she declared with a no-nonsense tone.

"Yeah, yeah of course" Aria said puzzled.

"Sure thing, Spence. You snap your fingers and everyone has to obey" the queen bee in question challenged.

"And here I thought that was you, how silly of me!" the young Hastings snarled back. "I didn't want to do this in front of them but you asked for it. Listen Ali, you need to stop with your bullshit; I've had enough of you bossing and bullying people around. You don't need to be like this, _you are better_ than this" she ended her speech with conviction.

Alison was stunned – they all were. In her heart she knew that Spencer was right, but she couldn't nor she wouldn't admit it. Still, those words stirred something in her. A part of her wanted to listen to that 'something' that was whispering to her to do the right thing; another part, however, simply couldn't bring herself to admit defeat. Proud is a dangerous vice. She found herself surprised when she realized that, during her inner struggle, her eyes met those of Emily. Sweet, naive, innocent Emily, whose gaze was pleading to stop this fight. " _Which one?"_ Ali thought to herself; " _the fight with Spencer or the one with myself?"_. She didn't know the answer. She didn't know if there was an answer at all.

"Honey please, don't talk like you know me, 'cause you don't", she finally replied.

At those words, she saw Emily cast her eyes down in disappointment: Alison had lost a chance to be a better person. The look on the tanned skin brunette's face made the young Dilaurentis almost gasp; she realized that she had just let down the one person who adored her unconditionally, the very same person who hold a special place in her heart. And that was unforgivable. In that moment she decided that, even if she wasn't to ever change, she could always try. For Emily's sake, if nothing else.

"Hanna, I'm sorry for earlier" she said curtly.

The blonde graciously accepted her apologies and the other girls smiled delighted. Apparently, the storm was over.

 _ **[Later in the night]**_

After patching things up, they spent the afternoon inside the cabin watching a movie, so that Hanna could rest her injured ankle. Just before sunset, they decided to set up a bonfire so that they could make s'mores. They ate and talked and laughed with each other, and generally had a good time. Any rancor left behind.

After such a long, eventful day they all felt pretty beaten, so Alison and Aria announced that they were going to sleep. Spencer, Emily and Hanna remained out; they were lying on the grass next to each other in a comfortable silence, looking up at the stars and enjoying the quietness of the night.

"Tonight the sky's beautiful" Emily sighed with amazement.

"Mmm" Spencer murmured in agreement; "Summer is the perfect time to go stargazing, you can see lots of planets and constellations" she informed.

"Do you know any of them?" the other brunette asked into the darkness.

"She's a nerd, of course she does" Hanna teased.

"Look" Spencer said, raising an arm and pointing at a bunch of stars "See those three stars? They're called Deneb, Vega and Altair. They're the brightest stars in the constellations of Cygnus, Lyra and Aquila respectively, and together they form the Summer Triangle" she explained. "Their names come from Greek mythology, in fact each constellation has her own story. Do you want me to tell one?"

"Yeah…" both Emily and Hanna agreed, intrigued.

"Uhm, let's see…" the nerdy girl pondered, "So, Lyra there should represent the lyre, an ancient musical instrument wich the cantor Orpheus used to play; he was the son of Calliope, a Muse, and he was well known for his incredible ability. They said that he could charm even stones with his music. One day he met a beautiful nymph, Eurydice, and they fell in love and got married. Unfortunately, one day Eurydice was assaulted by a satyr and when she tried to escape from his vice grip, she fell into a nest of vipers and died because of their poisonous bite. Orpheus was distraught: he wanted her lover back, so he decided to descend to the underworld. Once there, he met Hades and played the lyre for him; the god was so moved by his music that he agreed to return Eurydice to the world of the living, on one condition: Orpheus should walk in front of her and not look back until they both had reached the upper world. So they started walking and, as much as he wanted to, he did not look back. However, just before they reached the end of their path he couldn't help himself and turned around, and so Eurydice disappeared from his sight, this time for good".

"Wow, I actually understood less than a half of what you said but I have the feeling that was pretty sad" Hanna said after a while. "These Greek guys must've been very depressed to come up with a story like that", she considered.

"Yeah, it's possible Han…" Spencer chuckled.

"Hey, I think you knocked Emily out" Hanna pointed out.

They turned on their sides to face the brunette who was lying between them and, sure enough, she was fast asleep. They giggled at the sight, then a pregnant silence engulfed them once more.

"I think my father is going to leave us" Hanna confessed, completely out of the blue.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Han" Spencer said sympathetically.

"Yeah, me too. But I think it's for the best. I mean, they fight all the time, about everything. Me included"

"Han, don't you dare! I know what you're doing and you shoul know that this is in no way your fault"

"Then, whose is it?"

"Maybe theirs, maybe nobody. Sometimes things just stop working, doesn't mean there's to be a culprit"

"And when did you get so wise, if may I ask?" Hanna teased with a small smile.

"Hey, I've always been!" Spencer grinned.

"But seriously Han, you know that if you ever need something, anything, I… We are here, right?" the brunette hoped the blonde didn't catch her slip. She did.

"I know Spence, thank you" she smiled sincerely.

"You're very welcome" the brunette smiled back. "So, there's actually this other myth about..." she tried to distract her friend from her thoughts changing subject.

"Wooah, no no no you stop right there! I think I've had enough of this for the next ten years" Hanna abruptly cut her off slightly agiteted. "Besides I'm already sleepy, thanky you" she winked. "In fact, I think I'm going to sleep. Night Spence, good luck waking up Emily" she smirked and ran off to the tent, despite her ankle.

' _Damnit, I forgot about Em! '_ Spencer thought to herself. She resigned to the fact that she was going to deal with it alone.

 **An** **: Thank you all for reading and supporting this story. I would really like to know your thoughs on this chapter, doesn't matter if they're positive or not - well, at least not too much ;)**

To _TheMidnightSociety:_ You made a good point about Ashley! Actually, it is something that I intend to further examine in the next chapters, mostly when Hanna and Spencer finally get together. I'll tell you, from my point of view it's not so much that she doesn't care at all that her daughter might be into girls, but rather she brushes it off like some sort of juvenile, innocent crush, more platonic than anything. The fact is that she really like to tease Hanna and see her squirm under her stare :D But seriously, once she will realize that the feelings are really there and they are real, she's going to be like their number one fan, simply because she loves her daughter no matter what.

Okay, I'm gonna stop here. I think I bored you enough ;)


	6. The times they are -A changin'

_Reykjavík, August 2010_

' _I can't believe it's been a year already'_ Aria thought to herself. She and her family were about to leave Iceland and move back to Rosewood. It was a bittersweet sensation, but also painful to an extent. After all, that small town had been her home for practically her whole life. In the last year, though, it became the place where some of her worst memories resided. Alison going missing one of them.

"Hey, you packed everything yet?" Her mother asked, disrupting her train of thoughts.

"Yes, it's all done" the brunette assured with a small smile.

"Sweetie, how do you really feel about this? You can talk to me, sweetheart; I know it must be hard for you after everything that has happened" Ella tried to prompt her daughter to open up. Aria had been extremely reserved on the topic and she was worried.

"Honestly I don't know. So many things had changed… I don't know what to expect" the brunette confessed.

"Well, at least you're going to see your friends again. Arent'you excited? You'll have so many things to tell each other" she beamed, hoping to cheer her up a little.

"Yeah…" Aria smiled back. She didn't have the heart to tell her mom that she had lost contact with everyone. It was hard enough admitting it to herself.

 _ **[Meanwhile in Rosewood]**_

Emily spent the last months mourning her missing friend and trying to move on at the same time. For a long time she had been simply numb. Then she found a way to channel all her conflicting emotions into sports, and that helped her to come to live again. So she devoted herself entirely to swimming. It wasn't like she had much more to focus on.

Spencer however was another story. To everyone she was the same dependable person as always: student council president, straight-A student, field hockey team captain, perfect heir from a good stock. But that was the facade; inside, she was a mess. She was just out of rehab, her parents didn't trust her, Melissa was her usual bitchy self and she was tired and alone. And she was the one to blame, partially at least. She remembered vividly when things really started to go down:

 _[Flashback]_

 _The four of them had been summoned by the police to answer some questions about the night Alison went missing. Despite being almost a month, they were all still flabbergasted by the events. There was a lot of pressure on them, and being constantly questioned by their parents and the detectives working the case did not help. To make things even worse, she had just finished her last bottle of pills and now she was starting to exhibite whithdrawal sympstoms. She was irritable, and sweating, and she was cold and she didn't know when was the last time she had a good night's sleep. She just wanted to sleep, to disappear into nothingness and finally put her mind, her body to rest. But she couldn't, not now that she was held into an interrogation room waiting to be questioned; not now that her friends were shaked and upset and restless and wouldn't stop talking, and that was when she reached her breakpoint._

" _WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR A FUCKING MINUTE?" she lost it._

 _The other three immediately stopped their chatting and turned their heads at her, intimidated by the sudden outburst. They were looking at the brunette like she had lost her mind – little did they knew she probably had. Then the door opened and two officers sat down and they had to focus on other things._

" _Okay, what the hell was that?" Hanna asked when the interview was over and they were exiting the building. Spencer ignored her and kept walking ahead of them._

" _Spencer! Wait damnit!" the blonde shouted. She exchanged worried glances with Aria and Emily; no one had an idea of what was going on with their friend._

" _Spence, you're acting strangely lately. Talk to us" Aria pleaded._

" _I know it's been hard dealing with all that happened, but we're in this together" Emily supplied._

" _SPENCER!" Hanna yelled in annoyance, putting her hand on the brunette's shoulder to make her turn around. Spencer swatted her hand away, more forcefully than she intended._

" _Back off" she growled._

 _The blonde was dumbfounded, they all were. The girl in front of them was a complete stranger who appened to look a lot like their friend, their composed, well-mannered, ever so kind friend. She couldn't be the Spencer Hastings they knew and loved._

" _Spence…" Aria began to interject, but to no avail as she was immediately cut off by the angry brunette._

" _Back off, I mean it. I'm too freakin' tired to hear whatever you have to say. I won't do this right now. I need to be alone for a bit". And with that she was gone, leaving behind her back her three very concerned, very irked best friends._

 _All hell broke loose from there: the withdrawal, her parents finding out about her little problem with amphetamines and everything that came within. And in all that shit, she managed to push away three of the most important people in her life. She ruefully congratulated herself._

 _[End of flashback]_

Hanna was almost unrecognizable: she lost weight, changed her look, and she was popular now– so much so that she became the new Rosewood's High it-girl. She was confident and brash, now, too. That's what happens when you go from shy, chubby girl to runway model in less than a year. Also, she had a boyfriend. Sean. He was a walking stereotype: tall, handsome, athletic, sweet. He was a good guy, with lots of qualities. And he was interested in her, so why not? It wasn't like there was someone else on her mind, was it? And even if that was the case... no, better to drop it here.

Anyway, last but not least, Hanna had a new best friend and that was none other than Mona Vanderwaal. A while ago that name would have not rung a bell to anyone at school, now they were among the most popular ones. It was odd, really, how Loser Mona and Hefty Hanna managed to ascend the social pyramide.

They were currently hanging out at The Brew when she caught a glimpse of the tall, slender brunette that had just entered. Her heart skipped a beat, because the resemblance with _her_ tall, slender brunette friend was uncanny; it couldn't have been otherwise, because the woman who was now ordering a cup of coffee was her sister, actually. While not so discreetly observing Melissa Hastings, Hanna lost herself in memories of last autumn:

 _[Fields' household, October 2009]_

" _So, the Odissey opens in medias res – in the middle of the overall story" Spencer clarified when she noticed Emily's vacant expression, "with prior events described through flashbacks" she went on with her explanation, but Hanna had already zoned out._

 _It was their freshmen year and they decided to study together at Emily's place that afternoon. She joined only for the prospect of a sleepover later in the evening, where was to be expected lot of pizza and a good movie. Sadly, all too often the good things in life came with sacrifices. Not that she was putting much effort in this study session; she was too occupied staring at her newly discovered crush. Yep, her mind finally catched up with her heart, leading her to realize her true feelings for Spencer. And now, now she had no idea of what to do of them, so she just kept staring. What a creep. Luckily, the beautiful brunette was kind of dense when it came to things like this. 'So much for be the smart one…_ ' _Hanna thought. Unfortunately, one that was not dense at all was Alison. The queen bee in fact immediately realized what was going on with her blonde friend and smirked to herself. Yeah, she hadn't changed after all…_

 _Hours later, they were all snuggled together on Emily's couch watching a horror movie when, during a particular cruent scene, Hanna hid her face in the crook of Spencer's neck and in return Spencer protectively wrapped an arm around the blonde's shoulder. Again, no one noticed but Alison, diabolic smirk once more on her face._

 _When_ _the movie was over and the others went to change into their pajamas, the two blondes remained alone in Emily's room and Alison took the opportunity to strike._

" _You know Han, I'm really worried about you" she said cryptically, looking intently into the other girl's ocean blue eyes._

" _How so?_ " _the smaller blonde replied, sincerely confused._

" _I noticed the way you look at Spencer" Alison dropped the bomb. Hanna gasped, but found herself unable to speak. "Oh sweetie, don't worry I won't tell anyone. But you have to be more careful, Hanna, or Spencer might notice"._

" _Would it be that bad?" Hanna meekly asked, more to herself than else._ " _I mean, maybe she could feel the same. Maybe…"_

" _Maybe what, Han?_ _It's better if you don't keep your hopes up, wouldn't want you to delude yourself"_

" _But_ …" _Hanna tried to say something but came up with nothing. Of course Alison was right, how Spencer could reciprocate her feelings? That was impossible. Her eyes started to tear up._

" _Oh honey, don't cry. You'll get over her in no time, I'm sure. Besides, what Spencer would say if she saw you right now?" the young Dilaurentis sneered._

" _Yeah, you'right_. _I shouldn't worry her, she's always so kind to me…" Hanna replied with adoration all printed on her face. She couldn't help it._

" _Yeah, right. Hanna, I hate saying this to you, now of all times, but I think you mistook her kindness for pity" Alison scored the final bowl._

 _That was the last straw for Hanna's heart: she had never seen things this way. She didn't want to believe Alison. And to be honest she didn't, in her heart she knew that what the other blonde said was simply bullshit. She wanted to scream at her that, but tears were already streaming down her face, and her chest ached and her voice was lost somewhere in her throat. She ran away to lock herself in the bathroom. It was half an hour later when someone came knocking to the door, calling her name._

" _Hanna" the voice shouted._

"Hanna. HANNA!" another voice, this time, brought her back to the present. She smiled innocently at a very irritated Mona.

"Where did you just go?" her new friend asked.

"Uh? Ah, I was just thinking about a rumor I heard" the blonde replied.

"Oh, anything interesting?"

"Yeah… apparently Aria and her family are coming back next week" Hanna shrugged.

' _Really now?'_ Mona arched an eyebrow at the news. _'Maybe it's time to resume the game…'_ she thought excitedly to herself.

 **A/N:** So, this was more like a transition chapter but I hope I gave you some useful insights about the carachters: where they come from, what are their thoughts, how they changed and adjusted and why. Let me know what you think? ;)

I also would like to thank you again for reading. Thank you in particular to _zak194_ and _TheMidnightSociety:_ your kindess is heart-warming.

 **p.s:** I won't be able to update until next week. My friends came up with this idea to go on a road trip, how could have I said no?! :D


	7. They have a type, after all

_Rosewood, March 2011_

When Mona resumed her game and started to torture and harass the pretty little liars she planned a lot of things, but she would have never guessed the development of this exact outcome: she managed to put all them back together. In fact, it was precisely because of this cyber-stalker that the girls found their way back to each other and their newfound friendship. To unite them was an even stronger bond than before, now that they had a common enemy. Not even their lies and secrets seemed to pull them apart – and they had a lot of them.

Emily, for example, tried for a while to hide her relationship with the new girl, Maya, to everyone, her friends included. It was hard for her to come out, especially to her very conservative, slightly bigots parents. In the end, however, she found the strength and the courage to do so and things worked out for the better, despite all the pain she had to endure. Now she had a beautiful girlfriend, Samara, whom even her mother liked and approved of; she had her three best friends and she was happy, despite –A and their stunts.

Spencer's life was complicated, that wasn't new. To make things worse, it had to appear - completely out of the blue - this crazy -A bitch, whom probably killed Alison and now had developed the hobby to play with her and her friend's lives, like they were dolls in their hands. Fucking insane. The fact that, maybe, this person was her own sister was absolutely creepy. She regretted even more kissing her fiancé, Wren. She knew it was a mistake the moment it happened, but it was already too late; he was cute, and so much different from every other boy Melissa had ever brought home. And that accent, damn. But it was a mistake nonetheless, they both knew it. So she welcomed and enjoyed this British distraction as much as she could, before putting an end on something that simply was not destined to be. So she focused on more important things, like trying to figure out who was their stalker and why. In order to do so, she had to face a lot of unpleasant things, like her family's secrets - she swore the Hastings' held at least half of all the secrets of Rosewood, if not the entire Pennsylvania. And if there was something she hated with passion, was to be kept in the dark. She seeked the truth, no matter what. Maybe that was why she found herself so drawn to Toby: he was one of the very few people in her life who never lied to her.

Aria too kept a pretty big secret from her family and her friends: she met a very attractive boy on the first day she came back from Iceland. A boy that happened to be her English teacher, she soon discovered, and in the most embarrassing way possible. If drama didn't follow her...Still, the pull they felt towards each other was too strong to be ignored – not that they seriously considered for a moment to ignore it – and so they started a secret relationship, at first at least. With –A around nothing can be kept a secret for more than a week. When her friends found out they were shocked, Spencer a bit more than the others, but they only wanted their tiny friend to be happy so they all came to terms with it. And honestly, it was a huge relief for Aria knowing that she could count on her friends and talk to them about Ezra and all. Things are not that great when you have to hide your love.

And actually, that was something Hanna knew all too well. Yes, she was still pining over Spencer and her unrequited love for the brunette. Even now that she had what could be defined the perfect boyfriend.

When she and Caleb met, she was instantly intrigued by this guy. He was handsome, yeah, but that was something she noticed only an instant later. The very first impression she had of him was that he had something 'familiar' to her that she couldn't quite figure out. After all, he was the mysterious type, all dark and brooding. But when they started to talk, and hang out, and finally date, she learned that he was a great guy: he had a tough past that made him guarded, but he was actually really sweet and caring. He was a huge nerd, but he had a witty, sarcastic side that was irresistible. He was also smart and so incredibly kind, when he wanted to be. And he was easy on the eyes, too. She felt so lucky, until one day:

 _[Flashback]_

" _Wow, I just realized something!" Emily suddenly exclaimed. They were all sitting on their usual table for lunch break._

" _What?" Spencer asked, always the curious one._

" _You! And Hanna!" the swimmer pointed at each one of them._

" _We what, Em?" the blonde asked anxiously. All of a sudden she was interested in the current conversation._

" _You guys are practically dating each other!" Emily said, laughing hard along with a very amused Aria._

" _Oh my God, it's true!" the tiny brunette yelled._

" _WE WHAT?" Hanna and Spencer yelled even louder, both dumbstruck._

" _Well, not really each other, but the male versions of you. I mean, Toby and Hanna share a lot of qualities: they're both blonde with blue eyes, they're kind of sweet, like puppies, but they are also always honest and blunt – so much so that sometimes you want to strangle them" Emily explained, still chuckling._

" _That… that doesn't make any sense. Em, are you sure you didn't hit your head earlier during gym class?" Spencer asked truly concerned, remembering the incident that occured earlier._

" _Shut up!" Emily muttered embarrassed – she had slipped on the wet floor while running out of the locker room, giving quite the show to her classmates. They were still giggling at her expenses._

" _Oh no no Spence, she's right! I had the same thought! Actually, are you sure Caleb isn't your long lost twin? You guys are so alike in so many ways" Aria pondered._

" _Okay, this conversation is ridiculous" Spencer said, while Hanna was uncharacteristically quiet. "Besides, it's a common occurrence to find attractive people who possess different qualities from your own ones" the brunette continued._

" _Yeah, I see that" Emily snorted; "The only thing you and Toby have in common is that you both have butt chins" the brunette chuckled again._

" _WHA – " Spencer playfully gasped; "Em, you're so going to pay for this!" she was now laughing too, along with her friends._

" _Oh don't worry Spence, we love you and your butt chin. It's so cute" Hanna (not so) mockingly cooed._

That was the moment when realization struck her. What had started as an innocent joke between friends ended up to make her see things under a new perspective, one she had not considered until now – deliberately or not, she didn't knew.

She was between a rock and a hard place; the truth was that she actually came to care a great deal about Caleb. She didn't know if she was _in love_ with him, but she loved him – of this she was sure. Then again, it was hard not to love someone who was practically everything she ever wanted, even if he wasn't exactly the person she always imagined herself with.

But that was it: while things with Spencer existed only in her head, and every dream she ever had about the two of them together was destined to remain exactly that, just a dream, a childish obsession even; with Caleb she could have a future. For all she knew, he could have been the real deal. He was amazing, and he was available, and he _wanted_ her; actually, no one had ever made her feel so _desired_ , not even Sean and certainly never Spencer, not in _that_ way at least. Besides, the brunette was happily in love with Toby so why was so hard for her to completely let go of her feelings for her best friend? She decided to try nonetheless.

' _If only I could bring myself to fall in love with him_ ' Hanna thought while stepping inside her house. She tried to navigate the hallway without making a sound - she didn't want her mother to know how late she was.

"Hanna, is that you?" Ashley yelled from upstairs.

 _'Shit'._

"Yes mom, I was just…"

"coming back from your date. How is Caleb doing?" The redhead finished for her daughter.

"Well" Hanna rolled her eyes. Her mother didn't like the boy, that much was obvious. She didn't know why, though.

"You know, I can't understand why you hate him so much. You don't even know him" the blonde voiced her thoughts.

"Hanna, I don't hate Caleb. It's just that I don't trust him" Ashley replied.

"Well then trust me, he's the perfect guy and he's so good to me" Hanna smiled a little hesitantly. Her mother, of course, noticed.

"I trust you honey, I just want you to be happy and safe. With whoever you decide is worthy enough to be by your side" the woman replied slightly cryptically. "One that cares about your curfew, hopefully?!" she arched her eyebrow expectantly.

Hanna just scowled in response and the redhead retired for the night chuckling to herself. After all, a mother knows best.

 **A/N:** Hey there! So, I'm back from my trip and I-am-so-so-soooo-beat. But here's a new chapter; though I feel like is kinda rushed I still hope you'll enjoy it. Like always, let me know what you think if you feel like it ;)

P.S.: I hope with this I answered your question, _TheMidnightSociety_ :D

I wanted to insert Caleb because I think he's a huge part of Hanna's life and someone who helped her to grow up (same for Spencer and Toby), in the show and in this story. Obviously, this is an AU so things are inevitably different, but I wanted to stay true on this – does it make sense?

Oh and Spanna _is_ endgame, I wouldn't have it any other way ;D Actually, in the next chapter there will be maybe the real turning point in their relationship. I hope you all will stay with me to read it. In the meantime, thank you all for reading, reviewing and following! I'm so glad for your support :)


	8. Parallel lines will meet at infinity

_Rosewood, April 2011_

"You know, when you invited me over I thought you had something else on your mind…" Toby teasingly said to his girlfriend.

They were all alone hanging out in Spencer's bedroom and, truth to be told, the boy really had thought they were going to occupy their time doing… more interesting things. Instead, the brunette was reading her geometry book. On a Friday night. For personal pleasure. It was weird even for a Hastings.

"I know, but this is so interesting! Sorry Tobes" Spencer smiled sweetly, her eyes glued to the pages of the book in her hands. "I promise I will make it up to you later".

"You're such a freak" her boyfriend affectionately smiled back. "But I love you" he declared softly.

"It's fascinating" Spencer murmured in amazement; she was so absorbed in her reading that she didn't hear Toby. Not that it bothered him too much: he was a nice guy and he knew her girlfriend and how passionate she was about… everything, really. It was endearing.

"What has you so hooked up?" he decided to humor the smartest brunette he knew. _If you can't beat 'em…_

"Parallel lines. In ordinary Euclidean space parallel lines cannot meet as by definition, they remain the same distance apart; no matter what part of the lines are compared, they cannot intersect. But Euclidean geometry can be extended by adding a point at infinity, where all lines meet"

"Even parallel lines?" Toby asked a little perplexed. "Sounds absurd" he muttered.

"If you see things from a traditional point of view, yes. But this is exactly the thing: we're talking about how things works at infinity, we necessarily have to work beyond the traditional. Some rule has to be broken to build a theory, something new; the trick is breaking the right rule in the correct way. See why this is so riveting?" Spencer asked excitedly at the end of her explanation.

"Honestly? No. Can we watch a movie and cuddle now?" Toby pleaded, making his best puppy dog eyes.

"Fine" she grunted. "Ignorance is bliss, they say"

Toby rolled his eyes and threw himself on the bed while Spencer went to pick up her laptop. She kissed his pout away and snuggled up to him, putting on the movie.

"So what are we watching?" her boyfriend asked.

"A beautiful mind" Spencer smirked.

"You've got to be kidding me" he huffed, but eventually abided.

It was some time later when Spencer's phone buzzed with an incoming text. She had the feeling – a bad one – she knew the sender, and of course she was right. What she didn't expect, however, was the content of the message. Her eyes widened at the sight of the attached file displayed on the screen, and without thinking or giving so much as an explanation to her shocked boyfriend she bolted out of her bedroom and ran to her car. She was a woman on a mission.

She was halfway to Philly when she grabbed her phone and called Toby back, explaining briefly why she had to run away so suddenly and reassuring him everything was going to be alright once she had found Hanna. She apologized again with the boy before hanging up.

 _Hanna._ She glanced angrily for the umpteenth time at the picture –A sent her earlier. Hanna was in some club in the city getting wasted and dancing wildly, a bunch of horny guys and men all over her. And she didn't seem to care in the slightest. ' _What the hell are you doing?'_ Spencer sped up her car even more, she couldn't get there fast enough.

For the first time since when all this madness with –A started, she was grateful to their cyber-stalker. They even provided her with the blonde's whereabouts. She didn't know why she was the one alerted about Hanna's current situation, but she found that she didn't care that much; in the end, all that mattered was to take her friend home, safe and sound.

She strode with purpose inside the building, flashing her fake ID to the bodyguard at the entrance. She only stopped in her tracks when she saw this… _butchy lady_ doing body shots off of her best friend's naked stomach. The scene was _suggestive_ , to say the least, and Spencer felt a pang of something that she didn't have the time to figure out, because now she was just too pissed to think clearly. So she rushed off towards the two unsuspecting girls, her fists clenched tightly, and shoved the tall, muscular girl off of Hanna with all might.

"Get off of her, she's taken!" the brunette snarled, referring to Caleb.

Hanna needed a moment to understand what was going on, but when she realized that Spencer was there she got up from the leather couch she was on and threw her arms around the brunette's neck.

"My hero!" she whispered softly in the taller girl's ear.

Spencer's own arms wrapped around her waist and Hanna felt like she was going to swoon. But the angry tone of the brunette brought her back to reality.

"What the hell Hanna! You've got some explaining to do later" she said glaring at the blonde. "But first, let's get you home" she detached herself from her friend and started to walk away when she felt a hand grabbing her wrist, effectively halting her. She turned around and was met with a pair of blue, ocean eyes that held so much emotions in their gaze she was left speechless. And staring.

"Ooor, we could stay here and dance" Hanna slurred and flashed her a dazzling smile.

The blonde once again closed the distance between them and started to sway her hips in a very enticing way. Spencer was so enthralled by this erotic sight that she didn't notice the fist approaching her face until it connected with her jaw, right at the corner of her mouth.

Suddenly she was on the ground. Someone was yelling, the people around them were staring but her vision was slightly blurred and her senses momentarily clouded. _'Bitch can hit'_ , she thought.

She regained her faculties just in time to stop Hanna, whom was throwing herself at the short-haired girl from earlier, intent on murdering her.

"YOU'RE DEAD BITCH" the blonde yelled furiously. "I'M GONNA KILL YA!"

"Yeah? I wanna see you try" butchy girl replied all cocky.

Hanna was about to throw her blow when she felt a hand on her waist, holding her back. She turned her head and saw Spencer.

"She's not worth it. Come on, let's go home" the brunette said through gritted teeth.

She then pulled Hanna away by her arm, walking fast towards the exit. She was starting to feel her temper rising up and she didn't really want any problem, so she made the wise decision to simply walk away from unnecessary troubles. After all, her rescue mission was accomplished. They ignored the commotion behind their backs and finally got out of that place.

Once they were on the street, Spencer stopped them and leaned her body against the wall of the building. Hanna crossed her arms over her chest and bowed her head, refusing to meet her gaze. Spencer sighed.

"Want to tell me what all that was about?" she asked calmly. Her intensions was not to scold her friend, she only wanted to understand what prompted Hanna to behave that way and help her friend with whatever was upsetting her.

"How did you know where I was?" Hanna avoided her question with one of her own.

"I received this" she replied, handing the blonde her phone.

" _My my, looks like our dear Hanna can't take loneliness. Poor baby."_ she read aloud the text –A sent and frowned.

"So now –A cares about me? Wow, I'm honored" she laughed humorlessly.

"Hanna, you're avoiding my question" Spencer pushed.

"Caleb left, ok? His mother showed up after years of neglection and he went with her. Not that I'm not happy for him, I am, but why am I never enough? Why nobody ever chooses me in the end?" ' _Not even you',_ she finished in her mind.At this point she had her eyes full of unshed tears and she was shaking.

"Oh Han, why didn't you tell me? C'mere" Spencer spread her arms and moved to hug her but Hanna pushed her away.

"No Spencer, for Christ's sake I don't need your pity, I don't _want_ your pity!" the blonde yelled, her eyes closed and her head still down.

"Hanna…" Spencer murmured. She didn't know what to do.

"Why you came, uh? What do you care? We're not ten anymore Spence, I don't need you going all 'knight in shining blazer' for me! Stop pretending that you give a shit about me and go back to your boyfriend" Hanna spat out without thinking. She was still drunk and in so much pain. All her insecurities, her abandonment issues, her frustration towards Spencer and her obliviousness to how she felt; all came to the surface in the worst way, at the worst time.

Suddenly she felt her body slamming against the wall. Spencer had her pinned in place, her hands gripped her shoulder tightly. She opened her eyes and for the first time she noticed two things: one, Spencer's lip was cut and bleeding. Two, the brunette had tears streaming down her face.

They stayed like that for a while, staring intensely at each other. Hanna brought her thumb over Spencer's lip and swiped off the blood that was pooling at the corner of her mouth. Then, on an impulse, she leaned up and kissed the same spot tenderly. Time seemed to have frozen, until Spencer spoke again as if nothing happened.

"How dare you? How could you say that I don't care about you, Hanna? You're one of the most important people in my life, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. I'll go all knight in shining whatever anytime I please for you" the tall brunette declared. It sounded so much like a promise, one Hanna wanted to believe with all herself.

"Why?" Hanna managed to choke out. The blonde girl's heart was rapidly beating in her ribcage, hope bursting in her soul. _'Maybe… just maybe now she will…'_

"Because I love you, idiot!" Spencer stated and Hanna lost her breath. "You're my best friend, Hanna" she added. "You should know better by now".

"Yeah…" it was all the smaller girl could muster. ' _Hope is a bitch, I really should know better'._ "Of course. And… I love you too, you know?" _'More than you will ever know'._

"I know" Spencer smiled and kissed her temple softly. Hanna felt like she was going to fall apart any minute now. That was just too much.

"Take me home, Spence. Please" she whispered.

The young Hastings took her hand and guided her towards her car. She helped Hanna inside before settling herself on the driver seat. She started the car and began to drive back to Rosewood.

"Hey Spence, about that kiss…" Hanna broke the silence after a while, when she had gathered enough strength to speak.

"Don't worry. You were drunk and, uhm, heartbroken" Spencer said gently. "I get it"

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right" Hanna soughed.

An uncomfortable silence engulfed them once more, and while she was staring at the street in front of them Spencer thought that that was one of the rare moments in her life when she wanted to be wrong. For some reason, her mind went back to geometry and parallel lines and that point at infinity where all lines converged and met, at the very end.


	9. I was there when it started

_Rosewood, April 2011_

The last week has been hell for Hanna: her dad moved back in town with his fiancée Isobel and that soulless bitch of her daughter, Kate. Just her name gave her chills, making her shiver in rage and – she hated to admit this – fear. Because she knew that her soon-to-be stepsister was onto something; she had made that perfectly clear the last time they met, when during what seemed a normal dinner her father proposed to Kate's mom just like that, completely out of the blue and without any care in the world, in what _his_ daughter could have possibly thought. And in that moment it was like some sort of cutthroat competition between the two of them had started. The mutual dislike gradually, almost naturally became something similar to hatred. Maybe it had something to do with Hanna's never-ending insecurities, her issues with her father, her feelings of inadequacy that he never failed to brought back whenever he drop back in her life just to tell her how wonderful, smart, beautiful, perfect, Kate is. Maybe. Doesn't mean Kate Randall (Marin?) wasn't a Death Eater, like Spencer eloquently called her once.

 _Spencer_. Now, she was another reason for Hanna's restless nights. After the whole fiasco at that club in Philadelphia and the almost kiss, things were awkward between them. Tense. They didn't see much of each other these days; in fact, it looked like they were carefully avoiding each other whenever they had an occasion. It was childish and painful, but they both needed it in some, different ways. The blonde needed the space to regain some sort of control over her feelings. Even if distance make the heart grow fonder, they say.

Luckily she had grandma Marin and her lovely little cousin Grace to distract her, if only for a while, from her problems. With Tom's wedding coming up, Regina Marin decided to show up a bit earlier in order to persuade Ashley to take her ex-husband back – she was too fond of the redhead, after all she considered her more of a daughter than her own son. Her begging however was to no avail, of course, but the incessant bickering between the two equally stubborn women was just too fun to watch; it provided a certain sense of lightness in a context that was otherwise oppressive. Sprawled on the couch with the little girl observing her mother and grandmother fight over furniture rearrangement, Hanna let out a genuine, carefree laugh for the first time in a week or so. But their hysterical giggles abruptly stopped when she realized that the weekend was over and on the next day she had to confront Kate at school. And Spencer. Suddenly she felt like there was no air in the room.

Monday came and in spite of Hanna's expectations things seemed to go smoothly enough. She was even able to make small talk with Spencer – they still had to make eye contact but the very same fact they were able to exchange a few words was a huge progress in itself. She was currently sitting with her three best friends at their usual table having lunch when she heard a familiar voice calling her name;

"Hanna…" It was Kate, who had approached them a little hesitant.

"Hey. Welcome to Rosewood High" Hanna replied tentatively. "If you want you can sit with us" she offered.

"Thanks" the other blonde smiled brightly, then turned toward the others "Hi, I'm Kate. We haven't officially met yet" she gave them another big smile.

Aria and Emily politely introduced themselves, while Spencer was eyeing her somewhat suspiciously. She only broke her stare when Emily, not so discretely, nudged her.

"Oh sorry, I'm Spencer" the brunette finally acknowledged. Then she returned to her musing.

While Aria was giving some advice to the new girl about their teachers, Emily and Hanna exchanged wary glances; one of them was puzzled about Spencer's behavior, the other just pissed. Things were getting too weird, even for their brainiac friend's standards.

"Kate, uhm, have we actually met before?" Spencer asked abruptly.

"Sorry, I don't think so" Kate answered promptly. Too quickly, actually. "I would remember" she added in a slightly flirtatious tone. Hanna froze. If only she could have killed her with a glare... _'Interesting',_ Kate smirked to herself, noticing the blonde's reaction.

"Are you sure? Do you have any family in Maine by any chance?" Spencer insisted. She was like a dog with a bone, everybody knew that.

"Nope, no…" Kate shook her head thoughtfully.

Aria cleared her throat and Emily tried to change subject but the other brunette just wouldn't drop it. She had her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, trying to remember where she could have possibly met this girl.

"Debate!" she exclaimed, snapping her fingers.

"Uhm no, I was actually thinking to join the Orchestra" she chuckled, but she was starting to get really annoyed.

"Sorry, I thought I must've seen you at a debate"

"Look, I'm positive I never saw you before, though we can always fix that" Kate grinned. "But for now, I'm gonna head to class. I'll see you all soon" she said, looking at Spencer and fluttering her eyelashes. And with that she left, content with herself for having successfully dodged that troublesome brunette. She didn't think the young Hastings would have remembered her from that time they spent together at that camp.

"What are you doing?" Hanna hissed a moment later, when she was sure Kate couldn't hear them.

"I know her. I know I know her, I just don't know where I know her from" Spencer whispered like she was revealing some sort of conspiracy. Aria and Emily just couldn't hold their laughers anymore at their friend's antics.

"Can you back off? I'm not gonna let her complain to my dad that my friends are giving her the fourth degree" Hanna, on the other hand, was not so amused.

"…"

"…It's the third degree" Spencer informed her when she noticed that neither Emily nor Aria bothered to do so.

"Whatever! Just stop giving her degrees" Hanna snapped.

Then the bell rung and they all parted ways.

Spencer ran into Kate again in the locker room. They were getting ready for their PE class when all their classmates ran off to the gym, leaving the two girls alone.

"I knew I'd eventually get it" the athletic brunette smirked, standing up from the bench she was sitting on and making her way toward the other girl. "Shekomeko horse ranch, summer of 2009" she easily stated. Kate stiffened just that much for Spencer to notice.

"My sister Melissa was a junior counselor that year and you were in her bunk"

"Fine, you win. We went to camp together and yes, I'm exactly who you think I am" the bitchy blonde surrendered. "So what are you gonna do now?" Kate challenged. She wasn't scared of her, not when she had some card herself up her sleeve to play. Not that she was going to tell Spencer that right away…

"I'm not gonna tell anyone" the young Hastings reassured, turning her back on her. "But just so you know, Melissa sent me a bunk photo that year. So if you being nice to Hanna is just an act, you'd better keep it up"

"Wow, protective much are we?"

"You have no idea" Spencer asserted, then walked away.

Kate stared after her, pondering if it was the right time for her to show her game; "You know, I wonder how is doing Lauren. Do you remember her, too? Or you were too wasted at the time that you've forgotten about her?" Apparently, it was.

Spencer visibly tensed at her words, but she kept walking ahead without bothering to reply. She knew from the beginning that there was a high chance that Kate knew about her and what happened at the ranch that summer. Besides, it wasn't like she had something to hide; since the whole –A thing she was more than accustomed to have her life on public display. Privacy was a luxury these days. And she was more than fine to pay any price if it was for Hanna's sake.

When Spencer got home she was glad to find her sister in the barn. ' _Perfect timing, really'._

"Hey Mel" she greeted her with a small smile. Things were still complicated between them, especially after the whole Ian fiasco. But they were trying to get along better now that their family was bound to be expanded in a few months. It seemed like Melissa's pregnancy brought a newfound sense of family among the Hastings; even if, at first, Spencer took the news pretty badly - mostly because of the baby's father. Now, instead, she was beyond excited to the prospect of becoming an aunt. She decided she was going to be the very best one to her niece.

"Hey Spence" the eldest Hastings smiled back. "Are you ok?" she asked as soon as she took in Spencer's disheveled attire.

"Ugh, I'm beat! Field hockey practice" the younger sister replied. While that was certainly true, it was not the only reason behind Spencer's tiredness. Like Hanna, she spent the last week replaying over and over in her mind the events of that night when she went to the blonde's rescue. The feeling of the blonde's lips on her cheek - or rather on the corner of her mouth - left a burning sensation on her skin for days. Whenever she closed her eyes, she saw her friend dancing seductively for her; she could feel the blonde's arms wrapping around her neck, her fingers lightly scraping her nape. She couldn't stop herself from thinking how it would be to kiss Hanna. To have her in her arms. To…

On more nights that she cared to admit, she had to get up from her bed and go outside for a run in order to suppress that train of thoughts. Arousal and guilt plagued her. She wasn't able to look Hanna in the eyes anymore, let alone Toby. Her boyfriend, Toby. Thus, she ended up isolating herself, trying to put in check her emotions. If Melissa noticed something, she didn't show it.

"Go take a shower, I'll make dinner" her sister's voice brought her back from her thoughts.

"Yeah, I really need that" she chuckled. She was about to go when she remembered what she wanted to ask her.

"Hey, do you remember that girl in your bunk at Shekomeko's ranch, when you were counselor? You still have her picture, right?"

"Oh yeah! That was some nasty case of bug bites" Melissa laughed. "Yes, I should still have some photos, why?"

"Well… uhm... You see, she happens to be Hanna's stepsister, well almost; and she's a bitch to her so I may have threatened her with this…" Spencer sheepishly admitted.

"Old habits die hard" Melissa sighed.

"What do you mean?" the younger brunette frowned. That comment in some way stung.

"Just that when it comes to Hanna you can be a tad… zealous? Hyper-protective?"

"I don't know how many times I heard that just today" Spencer rolled her eyes. "It's just the way I am. I'd do that for any of my friends. Or my family" she countered back.

"Mmm, whatever you say Spence" Melissa trailed off. "Go take your shower, I'm going to make a salad" she tried to put an end on their conversation, knowing her sister's short temper could flare any minute. She really didn't want to start an argument with her. Unluckily for her, Spencer wasn't have it.

"Wait! Again, what's that supposed to mean?" Spencer asked, subconsciously crossing her arms over her chest, assuming a defensive stance.

Melissa sighed anew: "Look, I was there when it started". Noticing the look of confusion on her sister's face, she went on explaining herself; "That day in the courtyard, when we moved here and you started third grade. There was this guy picking on Hanna and something in you snapped. You went to her aid without hesitation, and that was actually the first time I ever so you take interest in something other than your books. You didn't have many friends back then, you didn't care about it either. But for some reason something pushed you to help that girl, and nothing has changed through the years. Yes, you do that for your friends too but we both know that your behavior towards Hanna is… different".

They stayed in silence for some minutes after that speech. Spencer was carefully considering those words while, at the same time, reminiscing her first encounter with Hanna and Aria and Emily. And every day to follow. Every time she defended the blonde from the other kids bullying her; every time she comforted her when her parents were having a fight. Every time she stood up for her when Alison was being a bitch. Every time they spent their days hanging out, studying, watching a movie or simply being, together. Every time they hugged, cuddled, laughed or cried together. Her sister was right: each and every moment she spent with Hanna had just a different taste to her.

All of a sudden she felt herself wrapped in a warm, soothing embrace, and only when she rested her head on her sister's shoulder she noticed she was crying. She didn't felt this safe in her sister presence since when she was five, maybe six years old.

"Shh, it's going to be alright" Melissa whispered softly, holding her closely. "It's okay Spence, whatever you feel it's okay. All mom, dad and I want for you is to be happy, you don't have to worry. I'm on your side. I've always been"

Spencer cried even harder. Hearing those words from her sister, realizing the true nature of her feelings for her best friend; the fact that she didn't know how to deal with them, it was just too overwhelming. Then something struck her and she gasped.

"Oh my God, Toby! How… how could have I not thought about him?" Spencer managed to say between hiccups.

Melissa only tightened her grip in response. Sadly, she couldn't do much about that. Dealing with the boy was something that her little sister had to do on her own. In the meantime, she was there for her, telling her that everything was going to be just fine. Of that, she was sure.


	10. The human heart has hidden treasures

_Rosewood, May 2011_

After the breakdown she had in front of her sister Melissa, Spencer decided to take some time to gather her thoughts and brace herself, emotionally at least. Not that confronting Toby and breaking up with him was going to be any less difficult, but it was something she had to do. In her heart she knew this much. That is why she was sitting in front of him at The Brew that afternoon, explaining to the boy what she had come to realize in the past few days.

"… So you're saying that this whole time we were together, you were in… you never really felt anything for me?" Toby asked, hurt evident in his voice and in his eyes. He didn't want to think that Spencer had only played with him. Despite being extremely vulnerable at the moment, he was still holding fiercely her gaze, waiting for an explanation; the fact that there wasn't any trace of malice in those crystal eyes struck her but only to an extent. Maybe he was trying to read the truth in her own eyes. But she knew that wasn't the case. Toby Cavanaugh was just like that, the best guy and one of the most transparent person she knew, and because of his genuine nature he wasn't afraid of confrontations. He would always look straight into your soul, and you couldn't help but be honest with him in return. Besides, she owed him that much.

"No, no. I… You have no idea how much you mean to me!" Spencer replied hastily; "I didn't know I felt this until a few days ago, and then when I realized I was just… well, 'overwhelmed' would be an understatement. I didn't know what to do. I never wanted to hurt you or anyone else, and that's exactly why I can't ignore this anymore and keep lying to you, or myself for that matter. But I loved you, Tobes. I still do, just…"

"Just not in _that_ way" her by now ex-boyfriend concluded for her.

"... Yeah" Spencer averted her eyes. "I know this sounds extremely lame but is there a possibility we could stay friends? I really care about you. But I understand if you don't want to…"

"Spence! Hey, look at me" he waited until she did so; "I think I need some time, but I don't want to lose you either" Toby smiled softly. "I want to be in your life, and I want you to be in mine".

In an instant he had the lanky brunette wrap him in a warm, soothing embrace.

"Sorry" Spencer said pulling away, once she realized that maybe it was too soon to hug like that after they literally just broke up.

"Don't" the boy only tightened his grip. "Please, don't apologize for something like this" he whispered.

"Okay…" she rested her wet cheek on his shoulder. At some point silent tears started to run down her face, it couldn't be helped.

"Spence, you don't have to feel guilty about anything. I can't say I fully understand, and I won't say it's easy, for either of us, but… It'll be fine. We'll be fine. You just be happy, that's all I want" Toby said, rubbing her back gently. He felt her nodding against his chest and he knew she was going to be fine.

"You too" she said softly, leaning up and kissing his cheek.

Then they both slowly let go of one another.

"I should go now, I promised the girls I'd help them study for the SAT and I have to babysit Hanna's little cousin later" Spencer said hesitantly.

"Oh, sure. Well then, see you around" Toby smiled reassuringly. It wasn't a question.

"I'll hold you to that" Spencer winked. Then they walked out of the Brew and they parted ways with one last hug, both feeling confident that they wouldn't be strangers to each other.

Twenty minutes later Spencer was standing on the Marin's porch, waiting for someone to come and open the door. She nearly found herself tackled to the ground when a small but lively little girl threw herself on her.

"Spencey!" Hanna's little cousin yelled ecstatic. During her stay at Hanna's place, she had spent a lot of time with her friends and she had grown especially attached to the lanky brunette.

"Easy there, bug" Spencer laughed, easily picking up the little blonde. She silently thanked her coach for all the extra training sessions he made her endure.

The inseparable duo made their way upstairs and into Hanna's bedroom, where was the blonde sprawled on the bed with Aria and Emily, books and notes scattered everywhere. They looked up and cooed at the sight of Spencer holding the little girl.

"They are s _o_ messy" Grace commented with a frown; one that matched perfectly Spencer's own one.

"Indeed, they are" the lanky brunette sighed, and a moment later a second, exaggerated sigh was heard.

"Okay, you two are spending too much time together"

"You're rubbing off on the poor thing"

"You two are scary" The other three girls in the room exclaimed in unison, their big goofy smiles from earlier replaced by scowls.

"Hey, it's not my fault if this little cutie here is way more mature and well-mannered than all of you put together" Spencer stated smiling proudly at the little girl, as if it was her doing.

Grace giggled delighted at being praised by her heroine and they high-fived each other.

Hanna was about to rebut but then she thought better and shut her mouth. Emily and Aria exchanged a look and shrugged – there wasn't much to say. In a way Spencer was right; besides, they were already preoccupied with some serious studying, there wasn't much time to lose yet another argument with their brunette friend and her minion.

"Sweetie pie, why don't you come with me downstairs so that we let these girls study? I'll make you a snack" Mrs. Regina Marin appeared at the door and asked to her youngest niece.

"Can't I stay here with Spencey? I'll be good" she swore solemnly.

"Hey pumpkin, go eat something and rest a bit. We have a sleepover tonight, remember? Aria and I will stay with you the whole time" Spencer interjected, seeing the exasperation on the older woman face. She loved her nieces to death, but sometimes they were so stubborn…

"Mmkay…" Luckily the brunette managed to persuade her without too much effort. "See you later Spencey" the little girl said, taking her grandma's hand.

"Yeah, see ya later and thank you so much for your consideration" Hanna complained.

Grace turned around and smirked, before sticking out her tongue to her cousin. Then she bolted out.

"Mature and well-mannered my ass" the blonde grumbled, throwing a pillow at Spencer.

"She's six Hanna. Move on" she tried to change subject; "So, where did you were when I got here?" She asked, pointing to a bunch of books on her friend's lap.

"Math" Emily answered ruefully.

"Okay, let's see what we have here…"

 _[ a few hours later ]_

Aria was at the sink washing the dishes while Spencer was upstairs with Grace on bedtime duties. The two had graciously accepted to watch over the little girl for the night, since Hanna and her grandmother had to go to Tom's wedding rehearsal dinner – Isobel had expressly banned the presence of children from the event – , while Ashley was out of town on a business trip.

Grace had been all too happy at the prospect to spend the night with her new two favorite people.

She was a bright little girl, incredibly smart and sweet but also extremely shy. She resembled a lot Hanna, both physically and in character, at least when her older cousin was her age. But she had a lot in common with Spencer, too. They had also a similar upbringing, with Grace's parents being two very busy surgeons, with little if no time at all for their lovely daughter. Maybe that was why the two of them clicked right away the first time they met; now Grace simply adored Spencer and looked up to her a lot. Everyone was fascinated by their interactions: it was like the two of them had known each other forever. They were just so adorable together, and Hanna may or may not have fantasized from time to time about a future in which she and Spencer would have a daughter just like Grace. One can dream, right? Even Spencer thought about something like that once or twice. But in the meantime…

"Are you okay in there?"

"Yep, all done" the little girl emerged from the bathroom and gave Spencer a bright smile. "Can we watch 'How to Train Your Dragon'?" she asked excitedly, jumping up and down.

"Of course we can. Let's go call Aria!" Spencer said taking her hand and leading her downstairs.

They put on the movie and snuggled together on the couch. Not even half an hour later Grace was sound asleep on Spencer's lap. The brunette was absentmindedly running her fingers through soft blonde tresses while watching the child sleep. Aria stared intently at the pair, completely charmed.

"You're a big softie under that tough exterior, you know?" The smaller brunette smiled sweetly.

"Yeah, but don't spread the word" Spencer let out a weak chuckle. All day there was something off about her.

"Want to tell me what happened?" Of course, Aria noticed.

After a short debate with herself, Spencer decided that she wanted to tell her best friend what was going on. A part of it, at least.

"I broke up with Toby earlier" she explained; "and before you ask: yes, it was me. No, he didn't do anything bad. Yes, I will be okay. Actually, he took it a lot better than I expected"

"Wow, I don't know what to say. I thought you guys were doing great…"

"We did, it's just…" Spencer huffed, then turn her head to look at Aria properly; "it's just that I realized I have feelings for someone else. I had for a while" she averted her eyes.

"Oh no! Spencer, I'm flattered, really, and I know we're team Sparia and all but I love you only as a friend…"

"WHAT? No no no, look you have it all wrong! Oh gosh no" Spencer was freaking out. And that was it, Aria couldn't hold back anymore and started laughing. Hard.

"Jeez, I'm kidding Spence! Relax" the small brunette managed to say through laughs. "And what's with the freaking out? I'm a little offended here" she joked once her friend had sufficiently calmed down.

"You little…" Spencer reached out with one hand and started to tickle Aria's side.

They halted their movements and turned quiet when Grace mumbled something in her slumber.

"So what are you going to do? You'll tell her, right?" Aria asked in a hushed tone.

"Yeah, I don't know yet…" Spencer began, then "wait, how do you… I didn't tell you it was a 'she'"

"Oh please Spence, remind me again: how long is it that we know each other?" Aria smirked. "Besides, I have a much better gaydar than Em" she asserted proudly.

"Oh God" the young Hastings groaned, her face hidden behind her hands.

"There, there!" Aria soothed, draping an arm around her shoulders. "For what it's worth it, I think you and Hanna would be sooo cute together"

"Really?" Spencer's head shot up at Aria's words.

"Yeah, you big dork" her very best friend replied, smiling affectionately.

"Thank you, Ar! It means a lot to me that you're okay with this" she engulfed said best friend in a tight hug.

"Of course" Aria squeezed her arm. "Now, should we wake this little one?" she asked pointing at Grace, who was still resting draped all over Spencer's thighs.

"Nah, let her be for now. When the movie's over I'll carry her upstairs. I promised to read her something before she went to bed anyway"

" 'kay" Aria shrugged. "You know that she has you wrapped around her little finger, right?"

"… Whatever" Spencer grumbled, tenderly stroking the little angel's forehead.

It was around eleven when a still slightly drunk Hanna and her grandma came back from the dinner, only to find a passed out Aria stretched onto the couch in the living room, barely illuminated by the TV that was left on. Hanna shook her head at the sight and made her way upstairs to her bedroom. She stopped in her tracks when she heard Spencer's voice.

The door of the guest room was left ajar and she leaned against it, taking a peek inside. It was wrong spying on them, but she was just so enthralled by what she was witnessing; _'They're so adorable. And she's so sweet… this is the Spencer I know. She can't be the same person Kate described me_ _tonight'_

"Another one, pwease Spencey" the little, slumbered girl slurred.

"You sure love poetry, uh? Are you sure you and Hanna are really related?" Spencer sighed; "Okay, but then that's it. You're already sleepy enough"

"Yaayy" Grace clapped her little hands.

"Okay, so… ahem" the brunette cleared her throat before she started to recite; "' _The human heart has hidden treasures, In secret kept, in silence sealed; The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures, Whose charms were broken if revealed.'_ That one is from 'Jane Eyre' by Charlotte Bronte" she looked up and saw that her one-person audience has finally succumbed to sleep; "but it doesn't matter now. Good night, sweetheart" she kissed her forehead and adjusted the sheets. Then when she turned around to leave she finally noticed Hanna standing on the threshold.

"Oh, you're here, I didn't see you. How did it go?" the brunette inquired.

All she received from her blonde friend was a blank stare. Hanna was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Spencer approaching her.

' _Tell your dear friend to stay the fuck away from me. And if I were in you, I would stay away from her too. I bet she didn't tell you anything about this, uh?'_ Kate's words from earlier kept echoing loudly in her head.

' _When we were at that camp she was a total freak. She spent the summer getting wasted and hookin' up with this girl, Lauren, and then they started to hang out with a bunch of other junkies like them. That was until her fuck buddy nearly died. I really don't understand how she could be so shameless, lecturing me after all the filthy things I've heard about her'._

"Han, are you okay? Did you hear me?" Spencer asked truly concerned. She gripped the blonde's shoulders tightly, but not as much as to hurt her, shaking her gently. "Hey, say something! You're scaring me"

Hanna finally looked up, and for a moment everything was still. Then, on an impulse she leaned up and attached her lips to Spencer's in a desperate kiss.

She didn't know what came to her, if it was the vodka Kate made her swallow or if it was because of what her stepsister had told her that night; or, then again, if it was because of those mesmerizing chocolate eyes that were gazing at her, worried and confused. Or maybe if it was the pent-up frustration of years of yearning for the brunette in front of her. For all she knew, it was a mix of all of that and so much more. But Spencer was kissing her back, now, and that was all that mattered.

Spencer was kissing her back, now, and it was beautiful and sensual and unbridled and wet and… wait. It was not supposed to happen like this. Their first kiss was not at all supposed to be like this.

She was angry, drunk, upset. And Spencer was just plainly confused.

In that kiss there wasn't any trace of what she had searched for all this years, of the one thing she always wanted from the brunette the most. So she pulled away.

"Han… what?" Spencer was at a loss of everything. Breath, words. Thoughts.

"I…; I…" Hanna wasn't doing any better. She had so much on her mind, so much to say, and yet she couldn't find the words. She didn't trust herself to take any action either, after what she had just done.

"Oh, here you are!" Mrs. Marin appeared in the hallway. Blessed distraction. "Spencer, sweetie, thank you so much for your help tonight" the woman smiled kindly. "I hope Gracie wasn't too much to handle"

"Oh no, no, don't worry, she was an angel. She's such a good girl" Spencer smiled back. She was feigning a calm she didn't have in the slightest.

"Excellent! That girl absolutely adores you" Regina said. "Well then, I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked unnecessarily.

"Uh?"

"I said I'll see you tomorrow, at the wedding. Do you remember you're all invited, right?"

"Oh, ahem yeah… yes, of course" Spencer stuttered. So maybe she wasn't doing a fine job hiding her nervousness. "Good night then" she said, gazing Hanna's way without actually meeting the blonde's eyes.

"Good night" the older woman replied airily, but Spencer swore she heard Hanna's whispered voice too. Well, it was better than nothing. But they had to talk about what just happened minutes ago. Something shifted between them, but she couldn't be sure of anything right now.

With these thoughts running in her head, she met Aria outside, waiting for her at the car, and silently drove home.

That night both Spencer and Hanna went to bed with heavy hearts. Neither of them knew at the moment what was bound to happen, tomorrow…

 **A/N:** Here another chapter! I'm sorry for the delay, this week has been crazy. However, I hope you'll enjoy it! Same old story: let me know what you think if you feel like it ;) and thank you so much for reading, following, reviewing, favoriting (is that even a word? Sorry, it's 5 A.M. here and I'm going to fall asleep on the keyboard :D)

Next chapter well… I don't want to spoiler so I'll just say SPANNAAAAAAA (ooops, I said too much)


	11. How can I show you?

_Rosewood, May 2011_

The ceremony had been lovely. Well, as lovely as can be watching your father take the definitive step out of your life. Of course he promised nothing was going to change, that he would always be there for his daughter, his little 'piggy'. Hanna didn't know what made her cringe more: the hideous nickname, reminder of days she want all but forget; or the man's empty promises.

The situation with Spencer, however, was what preoccupied her mind the most. The two had spent the whole morning avoiding each other when it was possible, but the silence was starting to grow too heavy. They had to talk and address that huge, pink elephant in the room at some point, sooner rather than later. Or, at least, that was what Hanna kept telling herself; in reality, she was really the one to blame for the whole procrastination thing. In fact, Spencer kept gazing at her every now and then - a meaningful, if not purposeful look in her eyes. But then, when she actually tried to make a move, something inevitably kept coming between them. Like now.

They were at the wedding's reception, sharing the table with their two best friends and some of Hanna's relatives, when the band started to play and people began to gather in the middle of the dancefloor. Aria, Emily and the others stood up and went too, leaving Spencer and Hanna alone. Not the best of times, but it probably would have been their best opportunity to try and talk things out; and that was exactly what Spencer was about to do. Of course, someone had to disagree with her plan.

"Spenceyyy! Let's go dance too!" Grace all but yelled, bouncing on the balls of her feet. Without waiting for an answer, she took the brunette's hand and all but dragged her along with her.

Hanna let out a long sigh. She wasn't sure if it was out of relieve, frustration or disappointment. She resigned herself to watch Spencer from afar dancing and laughing with her cousin. She couldn't help the soft, loving smile that tugged at her lips and the swelling of her heart at the sight: Spencer was awkwardly trying to balance the little girl on her feet while spinning around in circles. Grace gripped tightly onto the tall brunette's hands, but the expression of glee on her face and her giggles were enough to understand that she was having the time of her life. In that moment, Hanna was not proud to admit that she was envious of a six year old.

Someone, however, noticed the wistful look on her face, and decided it was about time to push things in the right direction. _'Aaah, youngsters these days…'_

Spencer felt a hand tapping her shoulder and, when she turned around, she saw it was none other than Mrs. Regina Marin, an empty glass of champagne in one hand. She frowned.

"Hey, don't you think you should invite my other niece there to dance, too?" she asked rhetorically, pointing as discretely as she could towards Hanna.

Not that the blonde had noticed them talking, since she was being chatted up by some guy in the last few minutes. Spencer's frown deepened.

"Uh, I don't think she want to. Besides, I wouldn't want to impose…" the young brunette replied. She tried to mask the annoyance in her voice with a polite smile, but the older woman knew better. Figures.

"Who, him? Please." she scoffed. "Honey, trust me, he's harmless. Now go and make that girl happy". There was definitely a smirk on her face and in her voice.

Spencer was taken aback, but only for a moment. She shook her head, smiling fondly to herself at this amazingly sharp woman. Then she crouched in front of Grace.

"Hey sweetie, I need to talk to your cousin about something. Will you excuse me for a bit?"

"Uh, okay" the kid nodded; "but then you teach me Waltz, you promised" she flashed her a dimpled smile.

"Why of course, m'lady" the brunette winked and ruffled her hair, then walked away, leaving behind a satisfied woman and a slightly confused child.

"C'mon honeybunch, grandma needs a refill" Regina said, taking her niece's hand and guiding her through the tables to the bar. The child shrugged but tagged along.

Meanwhile, Spencer took a last moment to brace herself before approaching Hanna and her interlocutor at their table.

"Ahem" she cleared her throat as a way of making her presence known; "Pardon my intrusion" she started, "but I really need to talk with you" she said looking straight into the blonde's eyes.

"Well, guess you'll have to try to come back later. She's busy right now" the prick Hanna was talking to replied.

Spencer probably would have punched him - if she actually had heard him, that's it. Instead, she was too focused on the girl in front of her. They both were lost in each other's eyes.

"Han, dance with me…" It was half a question, half a statement. Spencer's voice was low, raspier than usual, almost shy. Uncertain. But her gaze never wavered when she offered her hand to the blonde. Hanna nodded, swallowing hard, but silently took it. She let herself be guided onto the dancefloor, where hundreds of people mingled together. It was so packed they could have easily lost themselves in the crowd, had they not been holding each other's hands for dear life.

They came to face each other; Spencer placed her hands on Hanna's hips and the blonde's arms automatically went on the taller girl's shoulders, clasping around her neck. The band was playing some sort of slow dancing and the couple began to sway to the soothing rhythm. They stayed like that for a while, relishing the feeling of being together in such an intimate way.

Then, Spencer slightly bent over, her lips brushing Hanna's ear.

"This is nice" she rasped; her hot breath slid along the smaller girl's neck, sending a shiver down her spine.

"It is…" Hanna nodded, subconsciously pressing her body more firmly against Spencer's.

The brunette tightened her grip and sighed. "We need to do some serious talk, don't you think?"

"Yes" the blonde allowed. "But can't we just… can't we just be in this bubble, for now?"

"We could, but then when the bubble will bursts what do we will have left?" Spencer whispered. She planted a soft, feathered kiss to the other girl's temple; "I have a feeling that if we don't sort things out now, we'll keep dancing around this endlessly and, as much as I love dancing with you, I hope that at the end of the day we will get into… other, more interesting activities" she said, wiggling her eyebrows comically at the innuendo.

"So, is that all is to you? Is it _just_ that?" Hanna pulled back suddenly, shoving Spencer off. She was stricken. And livid. She ran off before she could further embarrass herself showing just how much the brunette's words had hurt her.

"Wait! Hanna!" Spencer shouted, but her voice was lost, overpowered by the music reverberating in the large room. When her mind finally caught up with what had just happened, she took off and ran after Hanna. She found her outside in the garden, sat on a bench, in tears.

"Hey, hey, Han please don't cry! I'm such an idiot" Spencer immediately kneeled down in front of her. She moved to take the girl's hand in her own but Hanna snatched it away.

"Yes, yes you are!" she suddenly stood up, nearly knocking Spencer on the ground; "I can't believe you! I thought you were different, I thought you were this kind, dorky but incredibly chivalrous type, always there for me. I had this distorted image of you being my own personal princess charming; I spent years mooning over you, waiting for the day you actually realized you had feelings for me, dreaming about you and I together. How delusional of me, uh? I am the real idiot here, they were all right! Alison when she told me that all you were capable to feel for me was pity; and Kate, when she tried to warn me about you! She told me what you did to that girl at the camp, and I didn't want to believe them! But now… now, I guess I know that all I am for you is a good fuck, right?". By the time she finished her rant, she had stopped crying and the tears had now dried. All she felt in this moment was emptiness.

Spencer, on the other hand, was still. She was having a hard time processing all the things Hanna had just said – or rather, blurted out – to her. In less than two minutes her world had completely gone upside down. _'She thought of me as… wait, she dreamed about us? Together? Does she… does she feel the same way? But why is she this mad? She can't be possibly this mad over that stupid thing I said without thinking? Wait, wait, wait: Ali? Kate? Oh no. Shit. Shit, shit, shit! I need to explain her! Shit, say something Spencer, dammit!'_. When she came back from her musings she noticed that Hanna was still there, but her expression was, well… vacant. It was similar to the one she saw the night before, when Hanna had suddenly kissed her. _'Oh God, this is such a mess'_ , she thought.

"Hanna, please, it's not what you think. At all. I can explain, please let me explain!" Spencer didn't mind begging at this point. "Whatever Kate told you, is not true! I mean, yeah it's true about me and that girl, Lauren, but I'm sure that…"

"I don't even care about that, Spencer! Don't you get it?! For Christ's sake, Spence, I don't care about anything else, all I ever wanted to know is…" Hanna cried out, her voice choked by a new wave of sobs.

"What?" Spencer whispered, her voice broken too. "What do you want to know, Hanna? I'll tell you anything, and I'll tell you the truth. Always"

"I just want to know about your heart. I won't be curious about anything else, just… please, just tell me how you really feel. Even if it is going to hurt"

"Han, look at me"; she waited until the blonde did so, "I…"

"Here you are! We were looking for you everywhere" Emily interrupted. "Hanna, your father wants you and Kate inside. It's almost time for your speech" she informed.

"Hey, but… is everything alright?" Aria asked concerned, seeing the disheveled appearance of her blonde friend and the trepidation in Spencer's eyes.

"… I need to go to the restroom" Hanna mumbled and walked away. Emily shared a glance with the others before following the blonde.

"Spence, what happened?" the small brunette asked again.

"I… I'm not sure myself" is all she offered in response, before she too made her way inside.

Despite the swirling of emotions and the turmoil in her heart, Hanna managed to get through her speech without much trouble. Everyone in the room applauded and the band started to play again. She tiredly dragged herself back to her table, but Spencer intercepted her on her way.

"Can we resume our talk?" she asked quietly, eyes downcast.

"I'm tired, Spence" Hanna sighed. Of what, precisely, she didn't know.

"Please…" the brunette tried, but to no avail as Hanna already passed her and went to take her seat at their table, where were the others now too. Meaning, end of the conversation. She resigned and made her way back, too.

Another hour went by between small talk and prolonged silences. _'Why has it always to be this way between us?_ ' the tall brunette thought, pushing away the slice of cake in her plate with her fork.

"Uh, Hanna… why is your grandmother singing?" Emily asked perplexed. The woman was clearly drunk and had swatted away the lead singer of the band, taking her place, claiming to know a much larger repertoire. This elicited some laughs, along with the embarrassed apologies of his son. Soon enough, however, other guests who had appreciated the idea decided to join the fun, effectively transforming the whole thing into some sort of impromptu karaoke.

"Because she can. Duh" Hanna replied matter-of-factly.

Spencer was absentmindedly listening on the conversation going on between her friends while observing the people going on and off of the stage. Something suddenly snapped in her head: Hanna didn't want to talk, alright, but if Spencer went to sing something to her, then she was forced to listen to what she had yet to say. Maybe it wasn't the most brilliant idea of her life, but it was all she had right in this moment, and she really had to clear things with her… friend? Somehow, it was weird define Hanna only as her friend, now.

So she abruptly stood up, much to the surprise of her dinner companions, and strode across the hall with purpose. She even stole a glass of champagne abandoned on one of the tables, swallowing it hastily. _'Liquid courage. As if this is enough…'_

She fought off the contenders for the next turn on the stage and climbed the few stairs until she reached the piano. She asked the pianist if she could play her own song and he gave her the go-ahead. So she sat, took position and a few of deep breaths, and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Spencer and I have no idea why I'm here, right now" she exhaled, and someone in the crowd chuckled. "But, I guess it's the only way you'll hear me out, and it is vital to me that you listen to what I have to say, so yeah… ahem" she cleared her throat and began to play the melody that just now had popped into her head, carefully avoiding to make eye-contact with the recipient of this serenade. _'God, I can't believe I'm really doing this…'  
_ She began to sing the words that she hoped would convey her feelings to Hanna.

 _You see this girl  
This girl's in love with you  
_

Spencer wouldn't know, because she was focused on playing and singing and was absolutely adamant to avoid to look in her direction, but that first two lines were enough to make Hanna gasp and start to silently cry. There was just so emotion in Spencer's voice, in her movements, in the gesture itself. Spencer was really serenading her? _'God, I can't believe this is happening'_ Hanna thought.

 _Yes I'm in love  
Who looks at you the way I do?  
When you smile I can tell  
We know each other very well  
How can I show You? I'm glad I got to know you ' cause_

 _I've heard some talk_  
 _They say you think I'm fine_  
 _This girl's in love_  
 _And what I'd do to make you mine_  
 _Tell me now is it so?_

 _Don't let me be the last to know  
My hands are shakin'  
don't let my heart keep breaking 'cause_

 _I need your love_  
 _I want your love_  
 _Say you're in love_  
 _And you'll be my guy_  
 _If not I'll just die._

Hanna was stunned. That was hands down the most romantic gesture she ever received, and coming right from Spencer was… well, she didn't have words. When she regained control over her emotions, she noticed Emily and Aria looking at her like she had just grown two heads. Then she turned slightly her gaze to her left side and saw Spencer standing there beside her, unsure of what to do. She still couldn't bring herself to look the blonde in the eyes.

Hanna could feel her heart racing like crazy; she didn't think, she just took Spencer's arm and dragged her out in the garden once again. This was rapidly becoming their spot. _Theirs_. She had to smile at the pronoun.

"Did you mean it?" she asked once they reached a halt, right in front of the bench where they had that dispute just a few hours ago. Her voice was small, fragile. It reminded Spencer of the beautiful, shy, insecure child Hanna used to be. ' _How much she has changed, and yet she's still the same. My sweet, innocent Hanna'_.

"Every word" Spencer replied without missing a beat.

Hanna launched herself at the brunette, throwing her arms around her neck and wrapping her legs around her waist. Luckily for her, Spencer was strong and had good reflexes.

"Oough" unfortunately, that didn't prevent her to stumble a bit. She shifted slightly so to have a tight grip of the girl in her arms and walked towards the bench, sitting them down, Hanna on her lap effectively straddling her.

"Really? It was really for me?" the blonde mumbled against her neck.

"No Hanna, I was trying to hit on your uncle Gerald, you know? The gentleman with the dazzling smile?"

"My uncle is toothless" the blonde frowned. "He even lost his dentures"

"Sarcasm, Han" Spencer smiled fondly. "Ouch!" she received a smack to the back of her head.

"How can you joke about this? Right now?" She hit the brunette again, this time on her arm. "You can be so infuriating sometimes" she pouted.

And that was the most adorable thing Spencer could have sworn she had ever seen in her life. She brought a hand to Hanna's cheek, caressing it softly with the pad of her thumb.

"You're so beautiful" she whispered in amazement.

Hanna blushed furiously and averted her eyes. Then she hid her face once again in the crook of Spencer's neck.

"I'm scared" she admitted after a long silence. "This, right now, is all I ever wanted, Spence. You have no idea how much…" she continued with a broken voice. "You have no idea how much I love you, how much I want you. I resigned myself to the idea that it was never going to happen, and now is happening and I don't know…"

She was cut off by Spencer's index finger resting now onto her lips.

"Shhh" the brunette soothed. "Han, I don't know what will happen, and I'm scared too, but mostly I'm sorry for hurting you all this time. I didn't know how you felt. I didn't know how _I_ felt, either. But now that I realized, there's no way I'm going back. So please, please, let me kiss you, because I'm dying here" she rasped her last words.

She removed her finger from the blonde's lips and, slowly, agonizingly so, replaced it with her own lips.

There weren't fireworks exploding all around, but a jolt of electricity ran through their bodies nonetheless.

Now, that was the kiss Hanna had longed for all this time; it was gentle and tender, slow. Loving. Perfect. It was like coming home after a long day. It held a sense of comfort, of belonging. And, most importantly, it held the promise of something more.

When they broke apart and Hanna opened her eyes, she found Spencer smiling goofily at her, while something shone in her eyes. She was now able to see and recognize that something as pure, unconditional, love.

Maybe it was a bit too much of a cliché, but she really did feel like her princess charming had just awakened her with that kiss.

 **A/N: Sooo, Spanna happened uh? Thoughts? Too cheesy? I'm just a sucker for this kind of things, ya know. Not that I would ever admit it. Besides, isn't it charming of someone to serenade their love? :D**

 **Oh, I almost forgot: if you're wondering, the song Spencer dedicated to Hanna is "This girl's in love with you" by Dionne Warwick, but the original version is named "This guy's in love with you" by Herb Alpert. Just some fun fact, if you want to check it out, you know.**

 **That being said, I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well. 'Til next time and thank you all for reading ;)**


	12. If you'll stand by me

_Rosewood, May 2011_

Hanna and Spencer had finally got together the night of Tom's wedding and now, not even a week later, they were still both enjoying the sweetness of their new relationship status. The transition from friends – _best friends_ –to something more, to girlfriends (the word never failed to make Hanna grin like the lovesick she admittedly was) came without much awkwardness; it happened almost naturally, in fact. As if it was meant to be.

Surprisingly enough, they seemed to get along even better as a couple instead of simple friends. Yes, it was still too soon to make such a statement, but everyone around them couldn't help but notice how truly happy they were, how effortlessly they communicated, how deeply they loved and cared for each other.

Not that it was _that_ astonishing, there's always been a strong bond to link them together, and if the protectiveness they had towards each other was any indicator, then there shouldn't be really nothing to be surprised about; only, maybe it wasn't _this_ evident before. After all, those two had had their fair share of fights, most of them silly but some serious as well. And they were like two polar opposites, really.

Then again, perhaps that's exactly why they were so good together.

Emily and Aria went even more far, affirming that all the bickering and the banter between the two was nothing else than a way to express their bottled up feelings and sexual frustration. Some friends they were.

While Spencer tried to hide her blush and deflect with a sarcastic remark, Hanna was quick to confirm her friend's musings, observing with a smirk her normally cool girlfriend squirm in her seat beside her. _'And some girlfriend she is'_ , the brunette thought, pouting and crossing her arms over her chest. While the others laughed at this, Hanna leaned in her space and kissed her cheek softly. And instantly the scowl on her face was replaced by a big smile.

They were so absorbed in each other that they didn't even think for a second to hide their little displays of affection in front of their friends and families. It simply was a thought that never cross their minds. After all, half of them already knew from the wedding, having witnessed firsthand the shift in their relationship.

And then, there were people like Melissa that already had suspicions on them from way back, so why even bother?

When they came out to Spencer's family – well, it wasn't really a proper, planned coming out; it was more like her sister and her mom walked in on them while they were making out on the couch in the brunette's living room -; however, when Spencer's family found out about them, Melissa was quick to assert that she always knew. She took Spencer aside and hugged her, whispering in her ear that she was proud and happy for her.

Veronica was well known for her stoicism. She was a respected and successful lawyer, and years of experience built between prisons and courthouses dealing with people of all sorts, from other lawyers to judges, from criminals to officers and detectives, helped her to develop an enviable poker face.

Eventually, however, her lips curled into a warm smile of acceptance the moment she saw the anguish and the fear in both Spencer's and Hanna's eyes. She had always had a soft spot for her youngest. Besides, she was not at all a judgmental person; quite the opposite in fact. In spite of what many thoughts of them, the Hastings were liberal and open minded people. And they cared about the happiness and well-being of their heirs.

So, the woman too went to embrace her daughter and her apparently new girlfriend, and just like that the tension in the room disappeared, at least for the time being. She honestly didn't know how her husband, Peter, would react to the news and quite frankly she couldn't care less, as long as he didn't dare to say something stupid or hurt her daughter. He was no saint after all, and he all but had to deal with this new development. End of story. Or esle he would suffer the consequences, because there was no way they could still be together if he ended up not accepting of Spencer. When she took her baby in her arms for the first time, the night Spencer was born, she swore she'd always be on her side, no matter what. Wasn't that what mothers do?

Of course. Just ask Ashley Marin.

When the woman came home from her business trip her ex mother-in-law wasted no time to fill her in on the latest events. Not that the extremely chirpy mood of her daughter was not a huge give-away in itself.

At first, she didn't know how to take the news. Was it something she expected would happen, sooner or later? Yes. Absolutely yes.

All in all, if she was honest with herself, she found out a long time ago about Hanna's feelings for her best friend. Years, really. She remembered vividly the day Hanna first met Spencer, just as she remembered all the days to follow, when her kid couldn't stop blabbing about this new girl at school who had protected her and befriended her. It was the very first time Hanna made a friend. And her demeanor changed considerably since then; she still complained about school – a lot - but she stopped making a fuss about that. Sometimes, after a particularly long week-end, she even looked forward to a Monday morning, so that she could see that nerdy, preppy girl that was always on her mind.

And when they all started to hang out, along with Emily and Aria, she noticed that her shy, reserved little girl was slowly getting out of her shell. She smiled more, talked more, and complained less. Spencer managed to bring out her bright, lively and easygoing spirit; and she never failed to stand by her side whenever Hanna needed her. For that, Ashley was extremely grateful to the brunette.

When they drifted apart, after Alison disappearing, Hanna changed again and not necessarily for the better. While it was true that the physical transformation brought her a new confidence and higher self-esteem, it was also true that the absence of her friends, particularly Spencer, caused her a deep sorrow.

Of course she tried to mask the pain as best as she could; she even made new friends – Mona Vanderwaal on top of the list. She busied herself with new interest, entered new social circles. Her new, shallow lifestyle was one made of popularity and glamour and parties and all of the things a cool, American teenager had to do to not being invisible. To be someone. To have someone. Things that more often than not had the potential of turn out dangerous, if you let yourself spiraling in without giving too much thought to what are you doing and where are you heading.

Hanna was a good girl, also smart, but she was fragile and easily swayed because, at the end, she was still a sweet child who had yet to build her own identity, and that's when Ashley realized the true extent of the influence Spencer had on her daughter: the brunette was the only who kept her grounded. She was the only one Hanna really trusted and listened to, even if the blonde didn't want to admit it.

So, with all that in mind, she knew what was bound to happen when she accepted Hanna's request to have Spencer over for dinner.

What she didn't expect when she answered the door that night, however, was her ex-husband storming inside her house without a care in the world, demanding to have a word with her daughter.

Hanna was getting reading in her bedroom for the evening, applying make-up and rehearsing the speech in her mind in front of the mirror of her vanity. She hated keeping secrets from her mother, even more so after the –A thing, so tonight she was going to tell her mother about she and Spencer. Obviously, she wasn't aware that someone else already did the job for her.

Her phone buzzed with an incoming text from her girlfriend:

" _On my way, baby. Take a breath, it'll be okay. Love u, see u soon. -S"_

She smiled lovingly at the screen and typed back a response before heading downstairs. She was halfway down the stairs when she heard her father's voice shouting her name. She froze. But the man spotted her and advanced menacingly.

"Oh good evening, missy. Glad to see you're finally gracing us with your presence!" he sarcastically greeted. "Now, care to explain what the hell was all that about at MY wedding?" he yelled, furious.

"I d-don't know what you're talking about" Hanna stammered, genuinely confused as to what her father was referring to.

"Hanna" the man exhaled, trying to regain composure; "I'm referring to you and your friend, and the little show you put up. You didn't think I wouldn't notice, did you?"

All the color drained from the blonde's face. She didn't have any problem telling her mom, or anyone else for that matter, about this sudden – at least from a third part point of view – change in her sexuality, but she was in no way ready to confront her father about this. Hell, she didn't even think the man had really any right to know, given his absence from her life for all this time. Besides, his angry tone and attitude towards her right now were another conspicuous deterrent for the blonde to open up to him.

"Tom, this is not the time nor the way you want to have this conversation with your child" said Regina, appearing at the door together with a flabbergasted Spencer she had just met outside.

"Uh, hello…" the tall brunette ventured. She shifted nervously from one foot to another.

Tom's eyes instantly zeroed in on the items in her hand. Spencer's grip instinctually tightened on the bouquet of flowers and the bottle of wine she brought as a gift. Etiquette was a matter of heart for a Hastings.

"Hi Spencer" Ashley greeted, a little embarrassed by the whole situation. "Oh" she exclaimed, noticing the flowers, "you didn't have to bring anything. Thank you though, these are lovely! Let me put them in a vase" she said, taking the gracious composition along with the wine and heading to the kitchen.

"I won't repeat myself: what the hell is going on here?" the man once again raised his voice. By now he had a pretty good idea of what was happening. Still… "Hanna!" he barked.

"Dad…" the blonde gulped; "I…" she had no idea how to continue from there. She was stuck, and she felt bad for this. Her eyes met the warm, brown ones of her girlfriend, silently begging her. For help, understanding, forgiveness.

Spencer wanted nothing more than to rush to her side and hold her, but knew it wouldn't be the sensible thing to do at the moment. She never felt so helpless in her life.

Once again, it was Regina to come to her aid, putting a comforting hand on her arm.

"Thomas Marin, you don't speak to your daughter like this! I raised you better than that. Watch your manners" she chastised in a strict tone.

"With all due respect, _dear mother,_ this is none of your business. I speak to my daughter as I please, and I treat her as she deserves to be treated. You can't tell me you condone… _this_ " he said with contempt, gesturing between the two girls.

Hanna's eyes filled with unshed tears. She was trying her best to not break down.

"Sir, please, I'd like to explain if you let me..." Spencer tried to interfere, but the man brusquely interrupted her.

"And you get out of my house! NOW! I won't tolerate this charade any longer! I didn't raise a dyke" Tom yelled.

Everything happened at once: Hanna let go a strangled sob, falling to the ground; Regina was by her side in a flash, holding her and trying to calm her down. Spencer shouted something at the despicable man that was now right in front of her face; he forcefully grabbed her by an arm and started to drag her to the door, when Ashley finally intervened.

She broke off his vice grip on the brunette and shove the man off of her, putting herself between them.

"Don't you dare" she intimated through gritted teeth, her glare icily cold, just like her voice; "don't you dare lay a finger on this girl! Don't you dare hurt _MY_ daughter, in _MY_ house! Get out and don't you dare come anywhere near them ever again, you vile, arrogant asshole. GET OUT, NOW!" she finally lost it. Nobody messed with her family.

"You have no right…" the man began, but the redhead cut him off immediately.

"No, you have no right to barge inside my house and talking shit about my baby. You lost it all when you walked out on your family. How could you say those horrible things to her?"

"Me?" he laughed humorlessly; "how can you allow such a depraved behavior? What, her father moves out and she suddenly hates men? It's just a whim of her, and I have every intention to fix this as soon as possible. I now understand I've been away from my family for too long"

Ashley was livid. So much so that she was shaking with rage. Regina and Spencer weren't doing any better.

"This is not your family. Not anymore. Spencer is. She has been since day one. Hanna deserves the best, she deserves people who love her, and if her father, sadly, isn't capable of that, then it will be better for everyone if you get lost. And now get out of here before I'll have the police escort you, and don't come back. Not until you apologize to your daughter and her girlfriend and they forgive you, _if_ they will ever forgive you. But know this, I won't". Her tone was deadly serious. Final.

Tom backed down, slightly intimidated by the fury that was his ex-wife at the moment. He decided it was best to leave at that, so he walked out of the door without a word.

Ashley released the breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding and turned her gaze at the stairs, where Hanna had remained still the whole time. Tears glistened in her eyes as she watched her baby broken, crying in the brunette's arms.

"You're a feisty one" she didn't see her ex mother-in-law approaching her; "That's what I always liked about you" she smiled, patting her shoulder.

"Regina" the redhead breathed out her name; "I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"Don't" the older woman cut her off; "You did right. My son is a dick, we both know that" she said, shaking her head in disappointment. Honestly, where did she go wrong with him?

They were suddenly interrupted when Hanna launched herself at them, hugging both her mom and her nana tightly, thanking them for their support.

Spencer stood aside, observing the scene with a soft smile. She was beyond glad that her girlfriend had such strong, wonderful women in her life, willing to do everything and anything to protect her. Of course they were her family, but if what just happened earlier taught her something, it was that one can never take for granted anything in life; not even the love and care from someone who's supposed to give you just that.

She came back from her musings when she felt two slim arms wrapping around her.

"I couldn't wish for a better person to stand by my daughter's side" Ashley whispered in her ear. "I trust you'll take good care of her" she said, pulling away.

"Of course" Spencer nodded solemnly. Ashley smiled and nodded back.

"Alright. Well… I say such an eventful night calls for something strong. Vodka, anyone?" Regina eagerly offered.

Spencer and Hanna both chuckled while Ashley shook her head, secretly amused by the other woman's antics.

"I think we should stick to the wine Spencer kindly brought us" she countered. "It goes better with dinner. Come on, let' go eat. I didn't spend the whole day in the kitchen for nothing"

"You didn't spend the day in the kitchen _at all_ " Hanna retorted.

The four of them chuckled and started to make their way to the dining room when Spencer took Hanna's hand, effectively halting her.

"Hey, I just… I know it's a stupid question but are you okay?" the brunette asked, her eyes full of concern.

"I will be" Hanna smiled softly. "Hold me?" she asked shyly, biting her upper lip. Then she wrapped her arms around Spencer's waist and rested her head on the taller girl's chest. Spencer wasted no time to reciprocate the embrace, holding her girlfriend tightly to her.

"I really, really love you, Han" she whispered, strocking her back comfortingly.

"I really, really love you too, Spence"

She turned her head slightly and pressed her lips softly to the taller girl's neck, then moving up to her jaw, her chin, the corner of her mouth, and then finally to her li…

"Girls! No funny business in there, we have yet to establish some rules" Ashley called from the other room. There was definitely mirth in her voice.

Hanna groaned and dragged Spencer by her wrist towards the table, grinning to herself, though. Her mind drifted off to her girlfriend, her mom, her grandma, all her friends and even Melissa and Veronica Hastings.

So, what if her father was a douche? She had tons of wonderful people in her life who cared for her and, casting a glance at her surroundings, she was sure she never, ever felt this loved and happy.


	13. Friday I'm in love

_Rosewood, October 2011_

Spencer and Aria were walking down the school hallway when the taller brunette's eyes caught a glimpse of a very familiar blonde standing in front of her locker, rummaging through it. She smirked and leaned down to whisper something in her smaller friend's ear; Aria grinned back at her and nodded, and they silently approached the girl, trying to sneak up on her.

Hanna jumped in surprise when she felt soft hands cover her eyes.

"Guess who?" a well-known voice asked her.

"It's Aria's voice, but the hands belongs to that giant dork that's my girlfriend" she replied, letting out a deep breath and turning around to face them. "Really?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"But… how?" Spencer huffed. If she looked closer, she could have detected a faint blush color her girlfriend's cheeks. But she was too distracted to notice, being slightly disappointed that her little prank was busted so easily. "Whatever. Party pooper" she actually pouted.

Hanna laughed and leaned up to peck the taller girl's lips. She was in a really good mood that morning.

"You two are so cute" Aria cooed, grinning like a fool. She was so happy for her two best friends. "Ugh, I gotta go…" she rapidly excused herself, however, when she saw Ezra passing by from the corner of her eyes, running to catch up with him. Discretely, of course.

Both Hanna and Spencer shook their heads at this. The brunette took the other girl's hand in her own and they started to walk together to their next class. She was trying to muster up the courage to bring up something that was going on in her mind for a while, now.

"So… my parents are out of town 'til Sunday…" she ventured.

"Well, isn't that a surprise?" Hanna sarcastically replied, gasping mockingly at her girlfriend. Really, when the Hastings were ever at home, these days?

Spencer frowned at the other girl's obliviousness but didn't say anything. She was right, after all. She gave her shoulder a little nudge while thinking of a way to hint her girlfriend about her true intensions, without actually having to tell her explicitly.

The fact was, they had been together for five months now, and they were _really_ into each other, that much was clear. Still, they had yet to take that last step in their relationship.

At first, they simply wanted to wait until they were both ready; after all, they had all the time in the world, so they wanted to enjoy themselves and the sweet, little things in their daily lives for the time being. No pressure.

Then, when their encounters started to get more and more intimate and they felt that was time to go to the next level, life and drama happened; they were in Rosewood, after all.

They were one month into their relationship when Mona dropped the mask and kidnapped and almost killed Spencer, trying to bring the smart girl on the –A team. Needless to say, Hanna was devastated. Then, summer vacation started and Spencer's parents pressured her to take extra classes at the Hollis and an internship for the Mayor's office, so Hanna had to busy herself with cooking lessons – she even managed to bring her mother along.

Now that they finally started their senior year, things seemed to have settled down, despite the threats of this new –A just around the corner. Hence, Spencer's eagerness to take advantage of whatever amount of time they had to themselves. How is the say? _Carpe diem._ Seize the day.

"Yeah" she chuckled sheepishly and scratched the back of her neck; "Anyway, I was thinking that maybe we can do something tonight, you know…" she tried again.

"Oh I know" Hanna smirked suggestively. "In fact, I just had a brilliant idea"

"Really now?" the brunette raised her eyebrow. It was going unexpectedly smooth…

"Mmh" the other girl murmured. "I'll see you at your place, say, around seven?"

' _Hell yes'_ Spencer thought; she gave herself a mental pat on the back. Clearing her throat:

"Yeah, cool" she tried to brush it off, like it wasn't a big deal. "I can't wait" she added sincerely.

They gazed at each other and some sort of understanding passed between them. Spencer captured Hanna's lips in a sweet, sensual kiss. It came to a steady halt with soft nibbles and gentle tugging, and the blonde felt her legs slightly wobbly. Luckily, she had Spencer's arm around her waist and her hand on her back to support her.

When they pulled apart she was breathless.

"Well then, if you can stand up without my support" the brunette smirked, "I'll head to my class, now. See you later" she threw a wink behind her back and walked away.

Hanna was left speechless as well. _'Where in hell did she learn to kiss like that?'_ She stood there, watching the retreating figure of her girlfriend, until the bell rang.

 _[later that day]_

If one looks up the word 'anxiety' in the dictionary, they'll find a picture of Spencer Hastings. Even so, the girl has never experienced in her life the level of trepidation she felt at the moment. Hanna was due to arrive any moment now and although she had everything set up – she checked and rechecked several times, just to be sure – and she was confident her girlfriend would like the surprise she prepared, Spencer couldn't help the jittery state she was in.

She was in the middle of her pacing when someone knocked on the front door.

"Hey you" she opened the door and greeted her girlfriend with a soft smile.

"Hey yourself" Hanna grinned back. "Are you ready? We're taking your car" she made a vague gesture with her hand.

"Uh?"

To say that Spencer was dumbfounded would be an understatement.

"Yeah, come on! Em and Paige are already at The Grill" the blonde explained. "It's rude to keep them waiting, don't you think?"

"Em and Paige?" Spencer repeated. She was having a hard time understanding what was going on.

"Yeah, that's what I said" Hanna frowned. "I asked them if they wanted to go on a double date. Unless you preferred going on one with Ezria?"

 _'Double date? Ezria? What?'_

"Com'on, let's go" she looped an arm through Spencer's right one and started to move but Spencer wasn't having it.

"What? But I… why didn't you tell me?" she asked petulant, actually stomping her feet.

Hanna would have found her childish behavior cute if she wasn't starting to get pissed.

"You're grumpy" she stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Am not!" Spencer gasped indignantly.

"Yes, you are. And you're being childish, too. Look," the blonde sighed, "I know that you and Page don't really get along, but can you just ignore it for one night? For me?" she asked, giving the other girl her best puppy dog eyes. And that was Spencer's undoing.

"Fine" she exhaled slowly.

Hanna threw her arms around her neck and kissed her soundly.

"I swear, you're lucky I love you" Spencer muttered under her breath, while being dragged away by the blonde.

"Did you say something?" Hanna leveled a glare on her.

"Uh? No, I didn't" the brunette tried to deflec. When they reached the door she opened it and waited for her girlfriend to exit first, "After you, my love"

She was rewarded with a bright smile, full dimples and all. They made their way towards Spencer's car and then drove off to the restaurant, when their friends were waiting for them.

 _[ later... again]_

The double date went relatively well, despite Spencer and Paige taking turns in throwing some little digs and jabs here and there. The two were just too competitive and stubborn for their own good. But, all in all, they managed to remain civil and that's what mattered. Hanna was actually impressed with her girlfriend's behavior, given the bruenette's hostility when she had brought up their plans earlier.

After sharing a lovely dinner, they settled for a walk through the park. Spencer was unusually quiet, but Hanna decided to let her be. She was probably still upset for the double date thing.

Finally the night came to an end and the couples exchanged their goodbyes. They returned to their respective cars; Spencer, ever the chivalrous one, held once again the door open for Hanna, a soft albeit small smile tugging at her lips. She then settled in the driver's seat and started the car without saying a word.

The blonde wasted no time to take the hand that was resting on the center console; she brought it to her lips before placing their clasped hands on her lap. When she turned her head to look out of the window, however, she frowned.

"Why you took this turn?" she asked perplexed.

"I'm taking you home" Spencer replied unfazed.

"Oh" her frown deepened; "I… I thought we were going to spend the night at your place" Hanna murmured, barely loud enough for Spencer to hear.

"Oh" That was something Spencer didn't expect.

She had spent the whole evening mulling over her exchanges with the blonde earlier in the morning, until she drawn two different conclusions: either Hanna genuinely misunderstood what the brunette was trying to say when she invited her to spend the night together, or the double date was the blonde's attempt to implicitly decline said invitation and, therefore, the real meaning behind it.

Obviously, she went for the latter and just as obviously, she was wrong. Big time. And now she felt bad and ashamed over the whole thing.

Meanwhile, her silence must have upset Hanna because now the blonde was looking at her like someone had kicked her puppy.

"But if you don't want me to, it's fine. I mean… Sorry" she rushed to apologize; "I didn't mean to…"

"Hey, hey no, shhh" Spencer cut off her rambling. She gave a reassuring squeeze to her hand; "Of course I want you to come over. Actually, that's exactly what I was hoping for when I asked you today"

"Mmmh" the blonde brought her index finger to her lips, assuming a pensive pose, "that makes sense. You being moody all night, I mean…" she smirked.

"Ugh, I'm sorry Han" she apologized sincerely. "It's just… I really wanted to spend the day with you. Just us" she blushed the moment the words escaped her mouth. "I missed you. Between school and practice I felt like I didn't see you in ages"

"Aww, my poor baby" Hanna leaned over and peppered the taller girl's cheek and neck with butterfly kisses. "I missed you too" she said between pecks.

"Babe, if you continue doing this we'll never get home safely"

"Spence, are you…?"

One pointed glare was enough to shut the blonde up and make her retreat in her seat.

"'kay…" she threw her hands up in mock surrender.

By the time they pulled in the Hastings driveway, they were both experimenting a whirlwind of emotions. Blame the hormones.

Hanna started to walk towards the main house but Spencer stopped her.

"Do you trust me?" She asked the blonde.

When Hanna nodded she took off her scarf and proceeded to blindfold her. She guided the younger girl to the barn.

"Stay put, I'll be right back" Spencer said before going to take care of the last details.

She then returned to her girlfriend and ushered her inside.

"You can take it off"

Hanna did just as she was told. She didn't know what all that was about but she was thrilled to find out.

"I wanted to surprise you" Spencer whispered in her ear, embracing her from behind.

"Wow" Hanna gasped. "Spence, it's… I don't know what to say, it's wonderful"

A makeshift bed laid in front of the fireplace. Rose petals were scattered all over the floor and dozens of scented candles lighted the room. On the coffee table were a bottle of champagne with two glasses and a bouquet of red and white roses. The sight was absolutely breathtaking.

Spencer didn't see it coming but she didn't complain at all when she found herself on the makeshift bed on the floor, Hanna straddling her, kissing her as if their lives depended on it.

She didn't dare to say a word, in fact. All she could do was reciprocate with the same passion.

"Sooo, I take it you liked it?" Spencer breathed out when they pulled apart.

"Spence I love it! I mean, it's amazing!" Hanna gushed, "You're amazing" and she attacked again the brunette's mouth, then her jaw, and down to her neck, kissing and biting in all the right places that were slowly making Spencer go crazy.

"There's also your favorite cake in the fridge" Spencer managed to find the voice to inform her.

Hanna pulled slightly away, the need to look into those chocolate brown eyes too overwhelming to resist.

"You sure know the way to a girl's heart, don't you?"

In a swift move Spencer flipped them over, finding herself now on top of the blonde.

"I'm content with just knowing about yours" she leaned down and pecked her lips.

"Aren't you a sweet talker?" Hanna whispered in a breathless voice.

She was completely overwhelmed by the sweetness of the moment and the intensity of her feelings for this gorgeous, smart, funny, kind, dorky but incredibly charming brunette who owned her heart since the day they met. She had thought she couldn't be any more in the depth of her love, and yet there she was, in the midst of a free fall. How lucky she was to have Spencer catch her?

"Oh, it must be a Hastings thing, you know" the other girl's voice brought Hanna back to the present.

"No" she shook her head, reaching up with one hand to stroke Spencer's cheek with a tenderness Hanna ignored to possess. "It's all you, baby" she smiled up at her adoringly.

Spencer didn't know how to answer to this, because for the first time in her life someone has bothered to stop for a moment and see, really see, through her. Someone finally acknowledged her as more than a Hastings, more than 'the smart one in the group', more than the rich overachiever who didn't need to work hard to get what she wanted, but did it nonetheless. Yes, all of those things were part of her, but she also was so much more than that. And Hanna knew. She had always known.

So, since words didn't come to her, she figured the best way to convey her feelings to Hanna was through her gestures.

She bent down and kissed Hanna with all the love and the gentleness she could muster; then she moved to kiss the side of her neck, stopping to suck on her pulse point. Hanna closed her eyes, letting out a low moan that only served to spur Spencer on.

She planted wet, sloppy open-mouthed kisses on her jaw line, moving down, tracing a path along her neck to her collarbone, leaving red marks on Hanna's creamy skin.

The blonde felt Spencer's hands roam her body, under her skirt, dragging slowly up her thighs, then creeping up her sides; a hand rested on her hips, pulling their bodies closer together, while the other snuck under her shirt and cupped her breast over her bra.

A groan escaped Hanna's throat, while her eyes rolled back into her head. She took Spencer's head in her hands and crashed their lips together in a passionate kiss. It was a matter of seconds before they found themselves almost completely naked, their clothes discarded haphazardly all around the place.

"You're so beautiful, Han" Spencer whispered back, amazed. "So breathtakingly beautiful".

Spencer's right hand was creeping dangerously down the bare, smooth skin of her body.

"Spence…" Hanna looked up at her through heavy lidded eyes.

And that halted the brunette's journey. She froze as if just realizing what was happening.

"Oh Han, I'm sorry. I-I didn't realize…" she started to ramble, only to have Hanna interrupting her.

"Spencer, it's…"

"I… we don't have to. If you don't want. It's okay, I mean… the last thing I want is to make you feel like we have to, 'cause we don't. I-we can wait. I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you"

"Spencer, babe, you didn't do anything wro…"

"I just wanted to spend time with you, do something nice for you. I didn't have any expectation"

At this, Hanna snorted. Loudly. She couldn't help it even if she'd tried.

"Pffftt" she burst out laughing; "Oh com'on, don't give me that Spence, we both know it's not true. And please, breath. You're hyperventilating" she smirked to her very flustered girlfriend.

"You okay?" she asked when she saw the older girl relax a little.

"Okay, maybe I _did have_ expectations for the night" Spencer sheepishly admitted. "Well, it was more like I hoped we would… anyway, I meant what I said, we don't have to do anything you don't want to" she said, sincerity glistening in her eyes. _'Oh, those eyes. The intensity they hold'_.

And Hanna melted. Because Spencer was showing her once again love and care and comprehension. Acceptance. Spencer was telling her that she was worth it. And Hanna believed her.

"I want to" she husked, and she barely recognized her voice as she did so. "I want you"

"Wha-?"

Okay, now Spencer was confused. She swore, every time she thought she knew what Hanna wanted, the blonde did or said something that threw her off guard…

"I wanna make love to you"

"Oh" It's all Spencer could offer in response.

"And I want you to make love to me" Hanna smiled shyly, biting her lip. "I love you"

And honestly, who was Spencer to deny her?

"I love you, too"

She leaned down and captured once again the blonde's lips in a long, deep kiss. And another. And then another one. They spent the night making love, getting to know each other in a more intimate way, cuddling until sleep overcame them.

And when they woke up they were not surprised, though immensely happy, to find themselves still in each other's arms.

 **A/N:** Okay, so: firstly, thank you all for reading and sharing your thoughts, it means a lot to me. Thank you so much!

So… I don't know if I'm any good at writing this sort of things; this is my first fanfiction, therefore that was the first time I ever wrote about, well, you know… *sheepish smile*

Hope you enjoyed all the same, though. Have a nice day ;)


	14. Ring of fire

**A/N:** _italic = flashback_

 _Rosewood, November 2011_

"I can't believe we're really doing this" Emily said to her two best friends.

"Guys, I don't believe for one second that Spencer's on the A-team. If she's really working with Mona there has to be more to the story"

"Em, I know how you feel okay? I know damn well what you're feeling right now. I'm supposed to be her girlfriend, remember?!" Hanna lashed out.

Anger, pain, tension, stress; all the pent up emotions accumulated in the last seven days started to wear her out.

She couldn't bring herself to believe it either, that's exactly why she, Emily and Aria were currently following Spencer's car. To ask questions the brunette managed to avoid for too long. To look Spencer in the eyes when she finally offered what the blonde hoped would be a valid explanation about the whole ordeal she put them through.

"Need I to remember you we literally just saw her wandering around in a freakin' black hoodie!" Aria exclaimed bewildered. She felt as much betrayed as Hanna, if possible.

"Besides, I don't know about you guys, but I'm dying to see how she's going to excuse herself"

Emily cringed at her tone. Hanna too, a little. They both knew how much Aria and Spencer loved each other – Hanna would have been insanely jealous hadn't she known that it was a sisterly love and nothing more.

Doesn't matter too much, though, the kind of love existing between two people. Betrayal is horrible, and it hurts like hell no matter what. Add to the equation that Spencer kidnapped her boyfriend's son and that Aria and Ezra broke up because of that and you have to understand why the petite brunette was so mad to her very best friend.

Imagine just how shitty Hanna was feeling over the whole thing.

 _[ The day before ]_

 _A week ago Spencer suddenly went missing for three days, and for three days the blonde didn't know what in the name of the Lord happened to her girlfriend. If –A had taken her, if she was hurt or… or worse. She could have been killed for all they knew. She would have liked to ask the Hastings about their daughter, but surprise, surprise, they weren't home._

 _And then, as if nothing occurred, there at school was Spencer, sitting at her desk ready to take notes for her English class. She didn't even spare a glance her way._

 _Hanna was beyond pissed, but when she confronted Spencer the brunette came up with this incredible pitiful story about her dear aunt passing away, and how she had to go out of town without notice, and how she broke her phone, thus her inability to contact her for so long._

 _A few words and big, puppy dog eyes and Hanna was putty in her hands. Back to normal._

 _Or is what she thought. Because a few days after she met Veronica Hastings at The Brew, by chance, and she found it was only right on her part to go and offer the woman her condolences for the poor aunt dead. Only, she found out that there was no old aunt recently passed away in the family that the lawyer was aware of. Meaning, Spencer lied to her._

 _She was on her way to the brunette's house to demand explanations – and possibly to beat her up – when her phone buzzed with an incoming text. She remembered breaking down in tears looking at a photo of Spencer and Mona in full talk; they both were clad in black hoodies and leather gloves. Spencer's gaze was fierce. Resolute. Hanna loved that expression of hers._

 _Now, now she hated it. Because from the picture it seemed that her love's resolution was to hurt her, deeply. Mercilessly._

 _She didn't know when or how, but at some point she must have changed her mind because now she was knocking on Emily's door, brokenhearted and sobbing._

 _That was yesterday._

They followed Spencer through a secluded wooded area and saw her parking her car and heading inside a lodge. She appeared to be alone, so they decided it was finally show-time.

They exited Emily's car and walked towards the cabin. Hanna slammed the door open, her two friends right behind her, and they got in. At first all they saw was a relatively large salon, complete with furniture and a fireplace. Then, they heard noises from upstairs; when they looked upstairs they saw Spencer fumble with something in her hands. The brunette didn't notice their presence until Hanna, ever the straightforward one, spoke.

"Busted" she breathed.

"Hello Spencer. Mind tell me just WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" she swore to herself minutes ago that she was going to give her girlfriend the benefit of the doubt, that she was going to be calm and reasonable. Obviously, she had lied to herself.

Spencer froze. Both because she didn't expect her friends there and because of the blonde's angry tone.

"Shit" she muttered; "What are you doin' here? You can't stay, it's too dangerous. What if Mona, or worse -A, saw you?"

"What?" Hanna and Emily exchanged a glance.

"Oh no Spencer, you don't get off that easy. You've got some serious explaining to do" Aria stated.

"Just tell me why? How… how could you do something like this to me? To Hanna? To all of us!" the pain in her eyes – in all their eyes – was too much for Spencer to bear.

She averted her gaze in shame and leaned against the wall, slowly crawling down to the floor. She put her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. With her head resting on her knees, she started to recount her encounter with Mona and what lead her to this moment.

 _[ A week ago ]_

" _I bet you're surprised to see me" Mona smiled knowingly at her interlocutor._

" _You're taking a big risk coming here. Talking to me" Spencer replied, her anger starting to boil in her veins. The petite brunette was the last person she expected to find on the other side of the door when she opened it._

" _Want a cookie?" Mona asked sweetly, letting herself in and sitting on a stool in the Hastings' kitchen._

 _Spencer found herself marveling at how her girlfriend's best friend – well, ex best friend - could fake so easily, so effortlessly. She thought she could make an Oscar-worthy actress if she wasn't so insanely crazy._

" _No, thanks". She took a deep breath before speaking again: "Mona, I won't ask you again: what are you doing here?"_

" _Straight to the point. Right. That's one thing that I always liked about you" she praised with that damn smug grin still plastered on her face. Then, her mood darkened: "I respect you, really. But look at all that's happened since you turned me down on our little drive up the mountain, Spencer. And what is yet to come; all the pain, the disappointment, the loss, because you're stubborn. But I believe in second chances. I'm a generous person"_

" _Yeah, right" Spencer snorted. "So much so, that you're threatening me right now. You need something from me, Mona, and whatever it is the answer is no"_

 _Spencer got up and motioned to the other girl to do the same. She was done with this conversation. Besides, there was no way in hell she was going to listen to Mona and accept whatever part in the plan their former stalker was offering her._

 _Mona had already her foot out of the house when she said something that made Spencer freeze._

" _Life is made of choices." Mona shrugged. "But for every action, there's always a reaction. I wonder who will suffer the consequences this time"_

" _Let me make something clear to you, this is not a game to me. At all" Spencer's low, husky voice resembled something like a wolf's feral growl. It was frightening, really. But it merely left an impression on the smaller girl._

" _Listen to me, Mona, I'm not playing around. Do not hurt my friends, okay? If you so much as touch one hair on their head I will make you very sorry. Am I clear?"_

 _Now, a lesser person would have peed their pants. Mona smirked._

" _Looks like someone's been skipping their anger management class. I think I'll be going, now" Mona said, turning to leave. She stopped just a minute longer to deliver her last blow: "Oh, before I go… maybe you wanted to know that Wilden is dead. Are you really willing to throw your girlfriend's mother in jail?"_

 _It took a second to Spencer to understand what she was implying. They stood there for what felt a long time, facing each other off._

" _What do you want from me, Mona?"_

" _I already told you"_

 _The petite brunette handed over the plastic bag she had with her to the younger Hastings._

" _Okay" Spencer sighed, taking a peek at its contents and unfolding a black hoodie. "I'm in. But I have conditions"_

"So I came up with this plan. I had to do this! Mona is working for Red Coat, I think she's the only person to know who she is. And then she came to me and threatened to hurt you, to put Hanna's mom in jail for a crime she didn't commit. Please, tell me that you understand" she begged. "I'm not asking for forgiveness, I know I don't deserve it. But you have to know that I never would have done any of this if I had another choice"

They were all crying tears of relief, Spencer because she had finally gotten ridden of a huge burden on her conscience; and the girls because now they had the confirm that Spencer was never their enemy. She was on their side, and she was trying her best to protect all of them and keep them safe, even if she had to lie to her girlfriend and best friends and do some despicable things.

"I understand, Spence" Emily smiled timidly but sincerely. "Come on, Ar, let's leave them alone. They need to talk"

"Yeah" Aria nodded; "Spence, I… I'm just glad you're still with us"

"I was never with them, Aria. Not really. I hope one day you can forgive me" Spencer dropped her eyes to the ground.

And the short brunette immediately went to hug her. Tightly.

"I forgive you. But no more secrets"

"No more secrets" Spencer hugged back just as tightly.

They let go the embrace and Aria and Emily walked out of the door.

"Han…" Spencer ventured.

"No, don't. Have you any idea what you put me through? How much it hurt thinking that you'd turned your back on me? Just tell me, when were you going to clue us in on your double agent status? Should I call you Nikita from now on?"

"I-I told Toby to sent you that picture of me and Mona"

"Toby? Your ex-boyfriend Toby? Is he a part of this, too?"

"Yes, I… look, I needed someone I could trust and as much as I didn't want any other people getting involved, I asked him to do this for me"

"So you trusted Toby but you couldn't trust me?" Hanna looked even more hurt by this new revelation.

"No, no Han, it's not what you think! I just asked him to take that picture and sent it to you, that's all. And I did all of this to protect you, of course I had to keep it a secret from you"

"Do you hear what you're saying? There should be no secrets between us, Spence!" Hanna yelled.

"I know, Han. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did. And I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry" Spencer choked out.

"I just… I couldn't let them harm you. I couldn't let them take your mother away from you. I couldn't let that happen and have your father take you away from me, because if the police arrest your mom you'd be devastated and your father would come back and take you with him and I can't -"

She was cut off by a soft pair of lips pressing gently but firmly to hers.

"I know baby, I understand. It's okay" Hanna soothed her desperate girlfriend. "I understand. It's okay" she kissed her again and again, until they both calmed down.

Then something snapped inside of them: they both were assaulted by this strong need to reaffirm and express the love they had for each other; to reinforce a trust that the recent events threatened to disintegrate. They felt the need to feel the warmth of their bodies, the softness of their kisses, the care in their caresses. They felt the need to reconnect.

"Spence, please" Hanna breathed on the brunette's neck.

"What? Tell me" Spencer heard the urgency in the blonde's voice.

"I need you" Hanna admitted shyly; "But first take off that hideous hoodie and, please, burn it"

They smiled at each other and Spencer threw the offensive garment off of her and directly in the fireplace in front of the couch they were stretched on, limbs tangled together.

"Good" Hanna smirked. "Now kiss me, you idiot"

The next day, the girls decided to go on with Spencer's original plan, much to Hanna's discomfort.

The tall brunette, in fact, on the pretext of a meeting with members of the A-team, was offering herself as bait to lure Red Coat, the one they thought was in charge of the A game, inside the Thornhill Lodge, where she had previously hidden cameras and a recorder, so that they could collect some proof to hand over the police even if their infamous stalker wasn't going to drop the mask.

She should have taken into account that their enemy was not so naïve as to fall into such a simple trap.

All the things that could have gone wrong that night, they happened.

Mona was the only one to show up; apparently she knew what Spencer was trying to do and wanted to take a part in it. She confessed that she didn't know the identity of Red Coat either. So she offered to stay behind while Spencer went to inspect the landing strip.

Shana and Jenna appeared seemingly out of nowhere and set the Lodge on fire.

Spencer missed Red Coat's landing, but saw someone that looked an awful lot like Alison running through the woods. Astonished, she turned on her heels and back to the Lodge when the strong, acrid smell of smoke hit her nose. That couldn't be good, she knew it.

Toby, whom insisted to help Spencer out with her plan, was knocked out unconscious on the ground.

The girls showed up late because of a flat tire, just in time to assist to the cabin being engulfed by the flames and Spencer running inside to save Mona.

Hanna screamed after her and started to move, only to have two pair of arms wrapping around her, holding her back.

They were the longest three minutes of her life. Finally she saw two figures emerging from the fire, the taller one carrying the smaller on her back. She ran towards them.

"Why did you do it? Why you saved me?" Mona asked Spencer, bewildered.

"Because it was the right thing to do. And because Hanna still care a great deal about you"

"It doesn't change anything. I won't say thank you, let's go grab a coffee, you know"

"I would never have a coffee with you, don't sweat it. You didn't hurt my feelings" Spencer smirked.

They were interrupted by a fury blonde, irked by the carelessness of her girlfriend and worried to death about her conditions.

"Spencer, what the hell did you think you were doing? You could have died!" Hanna threw herself at the brunette, checking all over her body for possible injuries.

Spencer huffed but wrapped an arm around the blonde's shoulders.

A sad, distant smile appeared on Mona's lips at the scene. She distanced herself to let the couple some privacy. However:

"Hey Mona" Hanna held her back; "I'm glad you're okay" she smiled softly.

"Yeah" the petite brunette brushed it off; "Like I was going to bite the dust in such a pathetic way"

But Hanna had already engulfed her in a friendly hug, and Mona was happy to oblige.

"Alright, that being said… you owe us! Spence here has already had her fifth degree"

"Third degree" four voices corrected her in chorus. Even Mona.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now it's your turn" Hanna went on unfazed. "Don't think you can escape it"

"I wouldn't dream of it"

And so, the five girls made their way to Emily's car, leaving behind their backs flames and ashes of yet another failed attempt to bring down their new, dangerous tormentor.

They didn't know, at the time, what A had in store for them.

They didn't know that Spencer's efforts to keep Ashley Marin safe and sound had been all in vain.

And they couldn't know that it was going to be Mona to pull the woman out of troubles. Anything for a friend, right?

 **A/N: So… the girls went through a rough patch, uh? I always wanted to write something about Spencer's undercover job :D** **I wonder how things will go from now on. I think I'm a bit in a mood, don't mind me. Hopefully it won't last long. Anyway, thank you again for reading and for posting your thoughts, your kind words have a huge impact on my self-esteem :D**


	15. Hurt

_Rosewood, November 2011_

"Spencer I swear, if you don't open this door right now, God help me" Hanna shouted from the other side, the little patience she had completely gone now. "Or better, _God help you_!" she continued to pound on the Hastings' door relentlessly.

Finally, after what to the blonde felt like hours, someone decided to take pity on her and show up, letting her in.

" 'bout damn time!" she groaned. "Just what the hell were you doin'? You remember we had plans, don't you?" she said menacingly, bursting into the kitchen without sparing a second glance to the brunette.

"I…" Spencer croaked, her voice more hoarse than usual. "Sorry, Han, but I'm not really…"

The words exiting the older girl's mouth were not the ones the blonde wanted to hear. At all. She was feeling more and more irked as seconds passed by. However, she had to stop some snarky remark that was on the tip of her tongue when she turned around to face the brunette, noticing for the first time since she came to her house the state Spencer was in.

"Woah, what happened? Did you have an accident?" Hanna asked her, worried and horrified by her girlfriend's current attire.

Spencer was clad in a grey oversized sweater and blue running shorts, her hair up in a messy bun. Her eyes were bloodshot, her pupils dilated and a sheen of sweat covered her forehead and neck.

"Oh sweetie, you should've told me that you were coming down with the flu" Hanna's voice and facial features immediately softened at the sight.

"Yeah… sorry Han, it must've slipped my mind. I think I slept the whole afternoon" Spencer easily lied.

The truth was, she hadn't had any sleep in days. There was no flu, also. She had simply fallen back to her old habits.

Two weeks ago, when the girls found Alison's journal, she began to examine it, trying to figure out what happened to their friend that summer. She started to dedicate more and more of her time to her research, neglecting everything else. But when she realized she was falling behind in school and that her grades had dropped; that Hanna and her friends were starting to get suspicious, she had to find a way to keep going. With everything.

Love life, social life, school life. She was Spencer Hastings: the world had great expectations of her and a Hastings could never disappoint.

' _The end justifies the means'_ was her mantra whenever she came across Brenda or Andrew in the hallways, where she exchanged fifty dollars for five little pills.

There was just no other way, if she wanted to keep it together. To function and produce results. In both her normal life and in her research. Because there was just no way she would drop it off, now that she was so close to the truth.

At the time she had thought that, with some luck, in that diary were probably some of the answers they were desperately looking for.

She had thought that those pages contained the last clue she needed to put everything together, to find out who –A was.

She had thought that figuring things out would have helped them to close this horrible chapter of their lives; to let all the pain, physical and emotional, behind, and move on. No wound in the process. No more hurt.

Oh, just how she'd been wrong.

Because, if she was right in her assumptions, then there was no way she could spare her best friend a pain she herself couldn't even begin to fathom. That's why she decided to wait to tell Aria and the others about all of her discoveries and theories.

On the other hand, Spencer knew she couldn't keep this to herself for much longer. Guilt was already gnawing at her. Hell, just three weeks ago she swore her girlfriend and best friends that there wouldn't be any more secrets between them. And now?

Now, someone would inevitably get hurt. And mad. Rightly so. All because of her.

She never wanted to play hero, she just sought the truth. Her big mistake was to not take into account the consequences.

She wanted to protect three of the most important people in her life, yet she failed them.

"Spence. Spence, baby!" Hanna's voice, like always, brought her back in the present from her musings. She was lucky to have the blonde to ground her.

"Uh?"

"You haven't heard a word of what I just said, did you?" Hanna sighed; "Let's go upstairs to your room. We'll stay in tonight and I'll take care of you" she smiled softly.

But Spencer panicked, because scattered all around her bedroom were the evidences of all of her recent investigation activities. And the orange bottle with the child-resistant cap.

"Oh baby, you don't have to! I'm fine" Spencer immediately rushed; "Really" she added when she saw the look the blonde threw her.

"Spencer, there's no way I'm letting you alone tonight! Why are you freaking out? You're hiding your mistress upstairs?" Hanna joked, but the brunette's lack of response and her nervousness were making the blonde feel uneasy.

Spencer was hiding something, of that she was sure now.

"Spence, I was joking. You're not, like, cheating on me… are you?" Hanna asked meekly, her gaze dropping to the ground.

"WHAT? No! God no, Hanna, how could you even think something like that?" The tall brunette made a scandalized, almost outraged face. And Hanna had to chuckle fondly at this.

"Then what is it?" she asked when her giggles subsided. "You've been edgy and restless all week, and you've been kinda evasive. Again. What is going on?" Hanna prodded. "Is it about –A?"

"No" Spencer shook her head vehemently. A bit too much, perhaps. "Maybe" she admitted when Hanna regarded her with another one of her looks.

"Spence!" the blonde exclaimed bewildered. "What about the 'no more secrets', uh? I thought we established that after your little undercover job"

She sounded and looked utterly disappointed, and Spencer stiffened. She couldn't bring herself to look at her.

"You're right" she whispered dejectedly. "You're absolutely right, and I'm sorry. But I had my reasons"

"Yeah? Well, you're gonna spill it out. Now " Hanna challenged, crossing her arms over her chest and assuming a defensive stance.

When the brunette didn't make any attempt to defend herself Hanna, having had enough already, strolled past her and went up to her room. Spencer hurried behind her but it was too late.

Just when she reached the door she heard a loud gasp coming from the blonde.

"What is this?" Hanna's voice was uncharacteristically low; "Spencer!"

Hundreds of pictures and papers were scattered on the floor, the bed, the desk. Diagrams, maps, telephone numbers. Alison's diary rested upon the desk, next to the laptop.

One name stood out the most in that mess: Ezra Fitzgerald. Mr Fitz for his students.

"That's why I wanted to wait until I was sure…" Spencer murmured. "I could be wrong and ruin everything. Or I could be right, tell her and still ruin everything. Do you understand now why I was waiting?"

"I can't believe this!" Hanna whispered. She sounded crushed.

Her gaze was focused on something in her hands.

It took another minute to Spencer to understand that, all along, the blonde's shocked expression had little or nothing to do with her discoveries about Ezra. It had to do, instead, with the plastic bottle she was clenching so tightly in her hand that her knuckles had turned white.

"Oh"

"Oh?" Hanna repeated after her. "Is all you have to say? Don't give me _'oh_ ', Spencer, I want a freaking explanation!"

She was livid.

"You're a speed freak? Again? Back to square one? SPENCER" Hanna was furious.

And Spencer felt guilty. Ashamed. And irritated. So incredibly irritated.

"Look, it's nothing. I took only a couple of pills a few times, when I had to pull an all-nighter" Spencer stated, as calmly as she could. "Besides, it's not really your business"

"What did you just say?"

"I said, it's none of your business" Spencer reiterated, snatching the bottle away from her girlfriend's hands.

"You are my business" Hanna objected angrily. "Give it back to me!"

"No"

"No? Spencer, give-it-back-to-me" she spelled out each word with increasing urgency "Now" she lurched forward to take back the bottle, but Spencer shoved her off rather forcefully.

"BACK OFF ME"

Then Spencer watched helpless the blonde slamming against the wall and falling to the floor. For a moment, she had no idea what the hell had just happened.

"Oh my God" she cried out when she realized what she had done. "Oh my God, Hanna! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, baby, I didn't-"

She rushed at her girlfriend's side to check on her, to help her get up but the blonde flinched at her touch.

"Don't touch me" Hanna whispered between sobs, slapping away the brunette's hand.

"Han…" Spencer was stricken.

They both were.

"I-I… I didn't mean to hurt you. You have to believe me" the taller girl was openly crying now, too. "Please"

"I know"

"I'm so sorry. I'm so very sorry" she continued to apologize like a broken record.

Hanna stood up, wincing at the pain in her back, and approached her. She took Spencer's face between her hands, stroking her cheeks gently with her thumbs.

"Shhh" she soothed; "I know, love. I know. Com'ere"

They slowly made their way to the bed, where they stayed for hours, cuddling and crying in each other's arms, seeking comfort and forgiveness.

At some point they must have fallen asleep, because Hanna suddenly opened her eyes when a strong smell of coffee and sweetness hit her nostrils. She looked up and saw Spencer placing a tray on the bedside table on her left.

Despite everything that occurred last night and being still mad at her for the whole drugs thing, an adoring smile spread across her face.

She took the brunette's hand and tugged at it, bringing the unsuspecting girl over her and into an unexpected kiss.

"Good morning, sweet girl" the blonde murmured against the older girl's lips.

"'Morning, sleepy head" Spencer smiled shyly and kissed her again. "I brought breakfast. There's coffee – before you ask yeah, it's skinny vanilla – and buttery croissants. I felt like running this morning and I stopped by at The Brew"

She pointed towards the tray, where indeed were a Styrofoam cup and a white paper bag, along with a colorful bouquet of flowers. Violets and marigolds. Hanna eyed her suspiciously.

"Eat now. We'll talk later, I promise" Spencer reassured her with a small smile.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" The blonde asked while sipping her coffee.

"Yeah" Spencer nodded; "I really needed it" she admitted. "Thank you. For staying and…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Spence" Hanna squeezed her hand, as if to show her that she meant it. And she did.

"Yeah, about that…" the brunette started to say what was on her mind since she woke up that morning, but the other girl cut her off.

"What's this?" she frowned at a small envelope on the tray she hadn't noticed before.

Spencer sighed.

"It's… there are all the pills I had left. Would you get rid of them for me?"

Hanna knew this was a huge step her love was taking, and she couldn't be prouder of her. Still, it was something the brunette had to do on her own terms. She could only assist her.

"Come with me" she took both the envelope and Spencer's hand and lead the puzzled brunette to the bathroom. "I think this is something you have to do. But hey, I'm with you! Any step of the way, I'll be right there next to you" she promised.

She handed over the pills to Spencer and watched her throwing each one of them down the toilet before flushing it.

The brunette then timidly raised her gaze to Hanna, the hint of a smile tugging at her lips, and Hanna nearly knocked her down such was the strength of her embrace.

They held onto each other for dear life, one girl apologizing over and over again for everything, the other whispering soothing words and reassuring her that everything was going to be fine.

But Spencer knew better.

Last night - while resting her head on her girlfriend's chest, the blonde's hand tangled in her hair, stroking lightly her scalp - she made up her mind.

She wanted to get better. She wanted to do it for herself and for Hanna.

"We need to talk" Spencer murmured on the blonde's neck.

"Yeah, but we don't have to do it right now" the smaller girl replied.

"No Han, it can't wait"

"Okay…" Hanna eyed her carefully.

Spencer lead her back to her bedroom and sat on the bed, motioning for the blonde to do the same. She turned to face her, but the words she vowed herself to say just didn't want to come out.

"Hey" Hanna, noticing her discomfort, looped an arm through hers and moved her head to let it rest on the brunette's shoulder; "It's me, you can tell me anything. I told you, I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna fight for you. With you"

At those words, Spencer's resolve crumbled and the tears that had pooled in her eyes started to flow freely down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry Han, you mean everything to me and I keep hurting you. I'm so sorry"

"Oh babe, it's oka-"

"No" Spencer interrupted her abruptly. "It's not okay. I screwed up, I let you down. I don't deserve you"

"Spencer, please, listen-"

"I think we should take a break" the brunette whispered in a broken voice.

But Hanna heard her, and the words hit her right in her gut with the force of a wrecking ball.

"What?"

"I… Han, I love you. I do. But I'm a mess, and you deserve so much more than what I have to offer you right now"

"You don't get to tell me what I deserve and what I don't! You're just taking the easy way out, aren't you?" Hanna stood up and began to pace relentlessly back and forth across the room. "No Spencer, this is bullshit and… and just no!"

"Hanna, I harmed you for fuck's sake! I almost… I didn't even realize what I was doing, and then you were down on the floor, and…"

"You didn't do it purposefully" the younger girl objected. "If that was the case, I'd have kicked you already" She tried to do what she always did when things got deadly serious, she was deflecting with humor. They both knew it. "By the way, you still have to tell me who gave you those pills, so I can beat 'em up. Nobody messes with my girl" she chuckled, but Spencer wasn't having it.

"Han" she sighed, "You have to-"

"What? I have to do what?" Hanna raised her voice, visibly pissed now; "Can you understand that all I want is to help you? To stay by your side? Why are you trying to push me away?"

"Because it's better this way! Because I don't want to hurt you anymore" Spencer yelled too.

"You're hurting me right now"

"It's for the best. Look, I thought the whole situation over thoroughly, and there's nothing you can say or do to change my mind. I'm going to rehab, and I won't put you through this. I know it may sound selfish of me, and maybe it is, but I need you to understand where I come from"

"Please, don't do this" Hanna sobbed.

Spencer rushed to her side, wrapping her arms around her waist.

"I love you Han" she kissed her temple softly. "I love you so much. Let me become the person you deserve to have at your side"

"I love you too, Spence. You are that person, why don't you understand it?" Hanna tightened her grip on the taller girl's, afraid and not willing to let her go.

"Right now, I'm not"

Maybe it was the desperation that resonated loudly in Spencer's voice, or maybe it was because, deep down, Hanna also knew that they needed this break; however, she let go of the brunette after kissing her one last time – _'_ _at least for the time being'_ , she told herself.

"Okay" the blonde said. "I will try and be there for you as your friend. You owe me at least that much"

Spencer only nodded. Her voice was lost somewhere between her guts and her throat.

"I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you" Hanna whispered wholeheartedly.

"Never gonna happen, Han"

And the blonde knew she meant it without having to search the sincerity in her eyes.

"Alright. So… I guess I should get going now. See you later?"

She sounded so insecure that Spencer's heart broke into thousands of little pieces. She was dangerously close to take all back and kiss her girl with all the love she had for her.

But that wouldn't do any good, for either of them. She had to remember why she was doing the most difficult thing in her life. So, as hard and painful as it was, she let her go.

"See you later"

 **A/N: Mmm, this chapter didn't go as I originally planned. I have mixed feelings about the outcome, but I think a breakup was a necessary step in their relationship at some point. Realistically speaking. Anyway, I promise, my "Johnny Cash" mood end here, don't worry.**

 **Once again:** **thank you for reading.**


	16. There is a light that never goes out

_Rosewood, December 2011_

Not even two weeks had passed since Alison's big return in town from the dead that things just went 'from worse to worser' – as Hanna eloquently put it. They all were, once again, trapped in her net of lies and secrets. Only, this time the stakes were considerably higher. Their lives as well as their freedom were in jeopardy.

In fact, the police didn't seem too inclined to believe Alison's heartbreaking, Nobel-worthy made-up story of how she was kidnapped and had been kept in captivity for two whole years, and how eventually she succeeded in a fleeting escape thanks to her four best friends; friends that were all covering for her, if nothing else to avoid ending up sharing a 6x8 jail cell.

So yeah, no pressure at all.

And Hanna just got the short straw of the entire situation; as if going back to play the unpleasant role of Ali's puppies wasn't already enough, the former queen-bee of Rosewood High had the nerve to ask Ashley Marin if she could crash at her house for a few days, until her dad came back from his business trip. That, of course, completely bypassing the younger Marin.

Needless to say, whenever Alison Dilaurentis wanted something, she got it.

Hence, Hanna's current dark mood and her need to escape the mess that had recently become her life.

Sadly, she settled on alcohol as her coping mechanisms. Much to a certain brunette dismay.

Spencer and Emily were walking down the hallway when a loud, metallic sound caught her attention and made her halt in her tracks. She turned her head and watched discreetly from the corner of her eye the blonde bending down to pick up an empty can of beer that had fallen from her locker.

The two brunettes shared a worried glance and sighed.

"God, Hanna… what are you doing?" Spencer exhaled.

Emily regarded her with sympathetic eyes.

"How are things between you two?" the swimmer asked tentatively.

"Ugh…" the other brunette groaned, scratching her neck. "I don't really know. It's awkward. I mean, sometimes we talk and all, and she was there for me during, you know, the time I was in rehab, but… she's cold. And… it's just not the same as before. Obviously" she let out a humorless chuckle.

"Besides, I saw her a couple of times hanging out with Caleb…"

Emily frowned at this.

Ever since her two best friends broke up a month ago, the blonde had been slowly but gradually distancing herself from all of them, eventually stopping to keep them updated on what was going on in her life. And that hurt Emily. A lot.

Everybody knew they were the closest of friends, much like Spencer and Aria. And that they had no secrets.

Nowadays, however, they only talked when there was some emergency meeting about –A or Alison or things like that.

Things got even worse when Caleb moved back in town.

The two of them started to talk again, then going out (even if Emily was absolutely certain that Hanna was still in love with Spencer and that nothing was going on between her and her ex-boyfriend).

But coincidentally, Hanna's little habit of getting drunk started the moment the guy reappeared in her life.

"I really screwed up, didn't I?"

"Oh, Spence…"

"I just… well, it doesn't matter now. Please, keep an eye on her, would you?" she pleaded with a rueful smile.

"Of course" Emily promised "But I think you should talk to her, too. Show her that you still care"

"Em" Spencer began, but then thought better of it; "We're still on for this afternoon?" she deflected.

"Uh, about?" Emily replied genuinely confused.

"Checking out the stables!" the other brunette exclaimed; "The ones Aria found out about, where Jessica Dilaurentis used to take Bethany? Remember?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah. Of course"

"Good. I'll pick you up after school"

"Okay, see you later"

Spencer nodded and, sparing a last glance at an oblivious Hanna, she turned around and walked out of school. She had a free period, and she knew just how to take advantage of the time at her disposal.

She had to talk some sense into someone.

That's why she found herself in front of Caleb's cabin at two in the afternoon. She knocked repeatedly and more forcefully with each time until, after a while, the guy showed up at the door.

He seemed to have just woken up and looked like he was still slightly hungover from the night before. His eyes widened when he recognized the girl standing in front of him.

Spencer unceremoniously brushed past him and entered the cabin, without sparing so much as a glance or a word. Looking around herself, she noticed the place was trashed.

The two stood there facing each other off. The brunette inhaled deeply, but Caleb beat her to it.

"Spencer" he acknowledged her, eventually. "Might as well make yourself comfortable, I have a feeling this is going to take some time" he offered.

"Actually, no, I don't think so. I was just stopping by on my way to Emily's"

"And you took the panoramic route just to come and say hi?" the boy arched an eyebrow.

"Hey, don't even try it. Now sarcasm is much more of my thing" Spencer quipped. "You perfectly know why I'm here, so let's go straight to the point: Caleb, this can't go on. Hanna's a mess, and she's been ever since you guys started to hang out again"

"Really, Spencer?" Caleb flared up; "You really think you have nothing to do with that?" he pointed a finger at her.

"I-"

"No, now you listen to me! All she wanted to do was to be with you, she loved you, but you left her. You broke her. And don't get me started on all this bullshit about Alison and –A and all the crap that's going down. So don't get all righteous on me, you're really in no position to lecture anyone"

Spencer was stunned. She knew that Caleb was right, to an extent at least. Still, in her eyes he had his fair share of responsibilities. He was Hanna's drinking buddy, after all.

"I know I made my share of mistakes, and that she's going through a lot, but she's a loose cannon right now and I'm not the one supplying her with gunpowder"

"What?" the guy asked perplexed.

"She's not drinking alone, Caleb!" Spencer exploded. "Look, I don't know what's going on between you two, and I guess it's not really my business, not anymore. And that's my fault, alright. But I know that you care about her. And you're the closest one to her right now, so please…" Spencer's voice cracked with emotion and her eyes welled up with tears that she was adamant to not let fall, not in front of him.

"For her sake, Caleb… I'm begging you, for Hanna's sake"

But Caleb didn't say anything and Spencer turned around, ready to leave. She stopped one last time on the threshold:

"If you lo-" she began, but she found she couldn't bring herself to say those words, so she rephrased, "If you truly care about her, you'll stop with that crap"

And with that, she left.

She silently cried the whole time during her drive to Emily's place, but if the swimmer noticed her red, puffy eyes when she hopped into her car, she had the grace to not bring it up. Still, she was extremely concerned about her friend.

They were wandering around the horse farm, asking questions about Mrs. Dilaurentis and Bethany Young, trying to find something useful, when there was a clap of thunder and suddenly rain started pouring down on them.

Spencer ran towards the stalls and Emily reluctantly followed her. To put it simply, she was not so fond of horses.

"What are you doing? Why don't we go just back to your car?" Emily nearly pleaded.

"Let's just take a look around here first" the other brunette replied, going straight ahead.

She convinced herself that focusing on the matter at hand would help keeping her distracted from other, upsetting thoughts about a certain blonde girl.

But that was a huge mistake, as they both soon learned at their expenses.

Someone, quite conceivably their personal stalker, locked them inside just as another tremendous thunder echoed loudly, scaring off the poor beasts.

A thrilled horse managed to break through the fence and a piece of wood sideswiped Spencer on her face. Luckily for them, it also crashed the gate, allowing the girls to flee out of the stalls.

They bolted off towards Spencer's car and sped off out of that place.

"How's your eye?" Emily asked concerned from the driver seat, when they were already far away and on their way back to Rosewood.

"It hurts" Spencer admitted in a trembling voice.

They still were shaking from their little adventure there, knowing they got lucky this time. Objectively, it could have been a lot worse.

Emily was about to say something when their phones buzzed with the same incoming text:

" _SOS – Hanna"_

They exchanged an apprehensive glance.

"Is it okay if I drive directly to her house?" Emily asked tentatively.

"Of course" Spencer nodded.

"Spence, can I ask you something?"

"…yeah, shoot"

"Why did you break up with Hanna?"

"I told you, Em. I was in a really bad place and it wasn't fair of me to get her involved in my crap"

"That's all?" the athlete pressed.

It was as if she knew there was more to the story. Spencer sighed, realizing that she couldn't really escape the conversation. And, quite frankly, she didn't have the energy to deflect anymore.

"That night, when Hanna found the amphetamines… we had a fight, and I involuntarily hurt her. Like, physically. I didn't even realize what I had done until she was on the floor, crying her eyes out" Spencer explained through gritted teeth. She was still so angry with herself, so ashamed.

Emily's sharp intake of breath at the revelation only served to feed her guilt.

"But you didn't mean any harm, Spence. Hanna knows it" Emily tried to reassure her friend. "You would never hurt her, or anyone else for that matter"

"I'm not so sure" Spencer whispered brokenly. "And certainly, I wasn't sure of that at the time"

"What do you mean?"

"After I pushed her, Hanna almost immediately forgave me. She kept repeating over and over again that it was okay. We went to bed and after a while we fell asleep. But then I had this nightmare – well, not really a nightmare. It was more like a flashback, you know?"

Emily nodded her head, prodding Spencer to continue her story.

"It was about the night Ali disappeared. I remembered our fight, how furious I was with her, how desperate I felt when she found the pills. And…"

"And you thought it was you to… to hit her, that night" the swimmer finished for her.

"Yeah… and at the time we didn't know Ali was alive, and I didn't know I was innocent, after all. So…"

"So you thought that because it happened already once in the past that you lost control and harmed someone, it could happen again… _it happened_ again, with Hanna" Emily once again spoke for Spencer.

"Exactly" the brunette confirmed. "And I couldn't live knowing that I hurt, or I could've hurt at any time, the person who matters the most to me"

"Oh, Spencer…" Emily sighed, grabbing a hold of Spencer's hand and squeezing it comfortingly.

"I think Hanna knows, in her heart, that that was the motive"

"I don't know Em, and it really doesn't matter anyway. I ended up hurting her the same"

"Yes, but you can make amends. She loves you like crazy, Spence; she'll forgive you"

"Maybe. But I'm starting to think that she's better off without me"

"Honestly? I don't think it's your call to make. If she wants to be with you and you feel the same, then I don't see why the two of you shouldn't be together"

Maybe she said it more harshly than she intended, but she had a point to make and if that helped her usually smart best friend to get her head out of her ass, then she wouldn't regret it.

"Em…" Spencer was caught off guard by this. "I-I don't know what to say"

"Well, you don't have much time to figure it out. We're here" The other brunette said just as she parked the car in front of the Marin's household.

Just as they reached the door and Spencer was about to knock, Emily halted her placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Wait"

"What is it now?" Spencer asked slightly annoyed.

Emily frowned but decided to let it go. After all, she knew that Spencer's frustration was not directed to her.

"Make it right" Was all she had to say, before they both stepped inside the house.

They went upstairs and into Hanna's bedroom, where they found their two blondes friends in the middle of what looked like a nasty argument.

"Aehm, what's goin' on?" Emily tentatively asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

The tension in the room was so palpable, they could have cut the air with a knife.

"What's going on, you ask?" Hanna repeated slowly, her temper raising dangerously; "It happens that your _beloved_ Alison, here, is a sociopath"

"Nice word" Spencer couldn't help the quip.

"Thank you" Hanna scoffed. "You know, you're not the only smarty pants in the-" She trailed off when she turned around and noticed for the first time Spencer's black eye. "What happened? You're injured again. Why is it you're always getting injured?" she asked frantically, forgetting for a moment everything and everyone else around them.

And Spencer had to smile a little at her ex-girlfriend's concern. ' _Maybe Emily was right, maybe there is still hope for us',_ she thought.

"And what's with the smell?" the blonde sniffed rather loudly the air.

"Manure" Spencer answered. "Em and I went over to the stables, we got locked in this stall and the horse next to us just went psychotic and we got really close to being kicked to, well, to death" she made a vague gesture with her hand, as to say 'let's not make a big deal about it' but Hanna and Alison were just plainly shocked.

"What? Were you hit too?" Alison turned to Emily.

"I can't believe this" Hanna muttered to herself.

"It could have been bad, but we're fine. Well, I'm fine. Spencer not so much" Emily casted a brief look to the injured brunette. "So, why were you two fighting? What was that 'SOS' about?"

"I asked Noel to break into Hanna's house" Alison calmly explained.

"What? Why did you do this?" Spencer asked bewildered.

"I needed someone who mattered, like Hanna's mom, to stop questioning what happened to me and dissipate the police's doubts. And it worked, didn't it?" she said the last part looking directly into the other blonde's eyes, almost challenging her to say otherwise.

"That's just insane! What was the plan if he'd got caught? _'I'm sorry Mrs. Marin, I just needed to borrow a butcher knife'_?!" the brunette mocked.

"You're a little loud" Alison retorted.

"And you're a little crazy!" Spencer shot back.

The argument escalated pretty quickly and to the point that they were now all yelling to each other. Hanna was having just about enough, of everything, so she did what she had been doing for the last two weeks, she grabbed her flask and took a generous sip of whatever liquor she had in there.

"Hanna, easy" Spencer glared.

"You know what? That's enough! Last time I checked, this was still my bedroom. Even though somebody else got in and invaded it" She gestured towards Alison; "Even the doorknob smells like you"

Alison scoffed while Spencer and Emily exchanged a perplexed glance.

"Why were you smelling the doorknob?" Spencer asked, genuinely curious.

"Urgh" Hanna groaned throatily.

She was about to take another sip when Spencer grabbed her hand and dragged her away, leaving behind them their two very puzzled, very dumbfounded best friends.

"Spencer, what are you doin'?" the blonde slurred.

"Come with me"

"Where?"

The tall brunette stopped and turned around to look at the other girl. There was something in her gaze that Hanna couldn't quite figure out.

"Does it matter?" she asked earnestly.

"I guess no" the smaller girl shrugged and followed her, their hands still clasped firmly.

Spencer lead her to her car and once they were settled, she started the engine and drove off. They were in silence the whole time, Spencer focused on the road and Hanna staring out of the window, a faint, distant smile etched on her lips.

Despite everything they went through, she couldn't help but think that that was the place where she was supposed to be. By Spencer's side.

Her heart leaped when she realized that, throughout Alison's stay at her home – but if she was honest with herself, even before than that – she was waiting for the brunette to come and take her out from a house that she didn't perceive as _hers_ anymore, not since Alison unceremoniously set foot in there.

Once again, she was counting on Spencer to save her.

And once again, Spencer did not disappoint.

So, maybe, that meant she still cared. She still loved her.

With these thoughts running through her head, she didn't notice at first that they had reached their destination.

"Hey, we're here" Spencer's voice brought her back from her musings. "Come on, let's get inside"

"We're at your lake house" Hanna whispered. She didn't know why, she just couldn't find her voice, all of a sudden.

"Yeah" Spencer smiled hesitantly. "Is that okay? I thought you could use a little getaway"

"It's perfect" Hanna reassured her, taking her hand and intertwining their fingers; "Thank you" she offered a grateful smile.

They made their way inside and almost instantly Spencer went to turn on the fireplace.

"Wow, this place is tidier than my room" Hanna mused.

"Well, you know how are my parents. We have a housekeeper cleaning this place twice a week. Oh, we're lucky" the brunette called from the kitchen area, "We also have some food"

"I knew there were perks to be with a Hastings" the words slipped out of the blonde's mouth before she even had time to realize the implications.

"I-I mean… I didn't mean…" she chanced a wary glance towards Spencer, and she was left breathless when she noticed Spencer's loving gaze already fixed on her.

The brunette wasted no time to approach the other girl on the couch, sitting beside her.

"Han, I…"

She wanted to say so much, but words were failing her. So, on an impulse, she leaned in and tried to kiss her. Only to have Hanna pushing her away.

"Spencer, no, we can't…" she whispered.

"Oh" the brunette swallowed hard. A lump had formed in her throat, but she managed to find the voice to ask the blonde what was nagging her for about two weeks now.

"You and Caleb… are you guys…" she didn't have the strength to complete the sentence.

"You really have no right to ask me that question" Hanna snapped, and Spencer averted her eyes.

"You're right…"

"But no, there's nothing between us. You should know damn well how I feel"

And just like that, Spencer's head shot up, hope shining in her eyes.

 _So much for being the girl who used to say that 'hope breeds eternal misery'_ , Hanna mused with a small smile.

"But you hurt me. Badly"

"I know" Spencer choked out. "And I'm so sorry. And if you'll let me, I will make it up to you every day of my life, for as long as you'll have me"

Hanna scooted closer to her and rested her head on the taller girl's shoulder.

"You should be careful with your promises" she murmured in the crook of her neck.

Spencer wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her even closer, and bent her head down to leave a soft kiss on the blonde's hair.

"You know I don't make promises I can't keep"

Hanna lifted her head and stared deeply into Spencer's eyes. Apparently she found what she was searching for, because after a few minutes of deliberation, she leaned in and pecked the other girl's gently.

Any other time Spencer would have tried to take control and deepen the kiss, but this time she let the blonde set the pace. She owed her that much.

She had to work hard to regain the blonde's trust.

"I love you so much" she whispered instead, trying to convey with her voice and with her gaze the depth of her feelings.

"I love you too" Hanna whispered back. "Even if you're a plain, giant idiot" she smirked a little.

"The biggest one in the whole world" Spencer concurred.

"But you're my idiot…?" It came out more like a question, and Hanna hated how insecure her voice sounded.

Spencer hated it too, and once again she blamed herself and cursed her foolishness.

"Always and forever" she tried to reassure the blonde.

Hanna decided to believe her and leaned in again. And this time their kiss was more passionate, more hungry. It showed just how much they had missed each other during the time they were apart.

Hanna moved to straddle Spencer, starting an assault on the brunette's neck with her mouth.

"I missed you. Don't ever let me go" Hanna mumbled between kisses. "Do-not-let-me-go-ever-again" she said between nibbles and bites and licks.

She knew she was leaving marks on her skin, and that's exactly what she wanted. She was branding the older girl, reinforcing the concept dictated by her words.

Spencer tightened her grip on the blonde and they shifted position until they were lying down on the couch.

"I missed you too. I love you" she said looking straight into blue orbits, shining with emotions.

She brought a hand to her cheek and gently wiped away the blonde's tears.

"I don't want to go another minute in my life without you" she whispered, before leaning up and capturing Hanna's lips in another slow, searing kiss.

They made out for a while, but when things started to get too heated, something suddenly snapped in Spencer's brain.

"Wait!" she exclaimed, sitting up and urging Hanna to halt her ministrations.

"What now?" Hanna groaned exasperatedly, feeling slightly impatient.

"This is my nana's sofa" the brunette mumbled, blushing profusely.

"Seriously?" Hanna rolled her eyes.

But the moment she saw those puppy dog eyes and that damn adorable pout on her girlfriend's face, she relented.

"Fine, bedroom" she conceded with an exaggerated huff.

And Spencer wasted no time getting up and carrying the blonde upstairs, intent on worshipping her and showing her just how much she loved her.

 **A/N: Guys, thank you so much for reading, following, reviewing. I'm glad you're liking this story so far.**

 **Zak194: I don't know what to say, except thank you. I'm a huge fan of your works, and those words coming from you… well, I'm truly honored and I'm glad you appreciate my version of Spanna.**

 **SibunaMockingjay: Yeah, I agree with you. I don't know, I always had the feeling that everyone on the show though of Spencer as the 'infallible' one and took her strength for granted, like she was unbreakable; surely, she's the most reliable, but she's human, she has her faults and her vices. And I happened to love her character even more when she showed her fragility. One of the reasons I always preferred Spanna over Sparia is because I always saw a deeper connection between them. They simply get each other, and they were always there for each other. Always. Something that didn't happen with Aria or Emily.**

 **Anyway, enough of this stuff. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as well. 'Til next time ;)**


	17. Demons, addictions and jealousy

**A/N:** _ **italics = flashbacks or inner thoughts**_ **. You'll be able to distinguish depending on the case.**

 **I just had so much fun writing this chapter, especially jealous Hanna and oblivious Spencer. Hope you'll enjoy!**

 _Rosewood, April 2012_

A week after escaping from the Dollhouse, the girls were struggling to deal with the lingering anxiousness and fear that this horrible experience generated. They were all working on finding a method to try and cope with PTSD symptoms, each of them in their own personal ways. And that wasn't an easy task, at all.

While Aria was busying herself with art and photography and Emily was searching some sort of solace into Sara Harvey's arms, Hanna and Spencer were having a much more difficult time. The latter especially.

Given her past with drugs, in fact, her mother deemed necessary to avoid any medical prescription that involved close bottles with child-resistant cap and pills of any kinds. Thus, Spencer's inability to put her brain and her body to rest. For the umpteenth time.

The girl just had the worst luck.

However, one night, fate led her somewhere interesting.

Tired of being questioned by her parents about the ordeal she just went through, she grabbed her laptop, put it in her purse and left her house in a hurry. She didn't even take the car, opting instead for a good walk, in hope to clear the mess in her head and blow off some steam.

While strolling around the small town, she just happened to crave a giant cup of coffee, so she walked into The Brew and sat down on one of the armchairs.

She didn't have to wait too long before the new waitress came to take her order, seeing that the place was quite empty.

Glancing up at her, Spencer couldn't help but notice she was really pretty, and she actually took a moment to appreciate how the girl pulled off that laid-back look of hers. Instantly, and for the first time since the Dollhouse, the brunette felt actually at easy being in proximity of a total stranger and exchanging small talks with them.

After a short time, the waitress – whom introduced herself as Sabrina – came back with Spencer's Triple Espresso and a small plate of pastries.

"Aaand, here you go!" The tall blonde placed the items on the table, then added with a warm smile "These are on the house"

"Are you sure?" Spencer, ever the considerate one, asked.

"Of course" Sabrina winked. "Try them and let me know what you think"

"Sure" the brunette shrugged and immediately grabbed a cinnamon roll, bringing it to her mouth and taking a bite. She let out a satisfied moan that actually made the other girl blush slightly.

"This-this tastes like, I don't know, like angels" Spencer complimented. "You need to tell me when did you guys get it, that's so good" she added, eagerly taking another bite.

"Uhm, well… I actually made them" the barista admitted somewhat proudly, though without bragging about it.

"No kidding?" Spencer raised both her eyebrows comically, eliciting a light chuckle from her interlocutor.

"I swear! Scout's honor" she smirked. "I'm really glad you liked it" she said softly.

"God, this is heaven" the brunette let out another moan out of pure pleasure. "You gotta make sure to have some ready for me every day, 'cause I'm gonna stop by whenever I can to have a taste of… _this_ " she stated, giving an enamored look at the treats on the plate.

"Well, I hope so…" Sabrina replied flirtatiously. "Oh, sorry, I gotta go" She glanced at the door when she heard someone walking in and ruefully excused herself, brushing her fingers on the brunette's shoulder lightly. "Be right back"

Spencer nodded nonchalantly and grabbed her laptop, positioning it on the table in front of her. She opened a 'Word' document and began to type at a steading pace.

From the corner of her eyes she observed the exchange between the nice waitress and the guy who just entered, and observed as the latter handed the girl a sealed plastic envelop. Spencer's eyes widened just a little as she recognized the content: weed.

' _Now, that is interesting'_ she smirked internally, discreetly turning her gaze on her pc. A plan forming in her mind.

Minutes later the guy left and Sabrina busied herself with some cleaning at the bar counter before strolling back to Spencer's table.

Just in that moment, the brunette let out a loud yawn, stretching her long arms and cracking her neck.

"You seem pretty exhausted" she said sympathetically, eying her carefully.

"Yeah" Spencer mumbled, "It's just… I'm not getting a lot of sleep these days"

"I can imagine that" Sabrina whispered softly, and Spencer stiffened.

"Sorry, I didn't mean… It's just, I heard about-"

"It's okay" Spencer cut her off, gesturing to the other girl to take a sit at her table. "I guess it can't be helped. It's a small town, after all…"

"I'm probably making an ass out of myself, aren't I?" the blonde cringed. "I'm really sorry something like that happened to you... and your friends" she added as an afterthought.

"Thank you" the brunette smiled up at her sincerely.

"I can't even fathom how hard it must've been, it still is…"

"Yeah" Spencer concurred. "And being deprived of sleep is certainly not helping. So, you bake" she not so subtly changed the subject. "You don't happen to have any _special_ brownie, do you?" she laughed, posing the question like a joke to mask the trepidation in her voice. She expected, in fact, a positive answer to this.

After what she had witnessed before, there was a chance…

"Uhm, actually…" Sabrina scratched the back of her neck a little nervous, "I happen to have some medical cannabis, but I'm afraid I can't really share it with you"

"Oh no no, that's alright. I was just kidding, you know" the brunette chuckled through gritted teeth. Disappointment hit her like a cold shower. _'Shit'_.

They chatted some more before Spencer's phone buzzed with an incoming call from her mother. She groaned to herself and stood up, collecting her things.

"Sorry, I have to go. My parents decided it was finally time for them to start, you know, _parenting._ Better late than never, I guess" the brunette grimaced.

"Yeah, I guess" Sabrina shrugged giggling. "See you around, I'll save some goodies for you" she smiled and waved.

"You better do it!" Spencer pointed at her with a grin before dragging herself to the door and out on the street.

 _[Later]_

When she got home later that night, she went straight to her bed, feeling completely drained and worn out. However, she knew since the beginning that sleep wouldn't overtake her that easily.

She had become accustomed to this perpetual state of insomnia and rare, blessed moments of half-sleep.

This night was no different, as she tossed and turned around in her bed like an oxen.

 _As she began to regain her senses, Spencer opened her eyes to see, first thing, a puddle of blood all around her on the carpet. Looking down, she noticed angry red blood spots contrasting violently with the white cotton of her tank top. She instantly started to panic, raising herself into a semi-sitting position. Leaning her back against the wall, she frantically examined her body, checking for possible injuries on her abdomen, her arms, anywhere that could possibly explain that mess._

 _Only then she glanced down at her shaking hands, covered too in that red, sticky substance._

Every freaking time she closed her eyes, a loud buzzer started to go off in her mind. Flashbacks and glimpses of reminiscences of the time she spent in that damned Dollhouse invaded her mind.

 _There was a trail of blood leading to the door of the room where she was held captive. She knocked and banged and tried the doorknob with increasing turmoil, leaving red hand prints on the wooden surface in the process._

 _She turned around, looking desperately into the surveillance camera, screaming and begging and just losing her mind._

" _What did I do?" She asked through labored, heavy breaths._

" _WHAT DID YOU MAKE ME DO?" she shouted desperately._

She abruptly stood up in her bed, the covers all scattered haphazardly on the floor. Her skin glistened with sweat. Her heart pounding at a maniacal tempo.

Taking deep breaths to try and steady herself, she grabbed her phone resting on the bedside table and checked the clock. Fifty-two minutes of consecutive sleep. The longest she has had in God only knows how much time.

She changed to a pair of sweatpants and a grey, cotton long sleeved shirt and bolted out of her room.

Not even fifteen minutes later, she found herself climbing up to Hanna's window. She tapped a few times on it, at first lightly, then a tad more loudly, before the blonde finally woke up, startled by the sudden noise.

She looked around with her heart in her throat, before actually made out the figure of her girlfriend standing awkwardly outside her window. She ran toward her to open it.

"What the hell are you doin'?" she hissed. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Uhm, three in the morning?" Spencer ventured a smile.

"Exactly" Hanna snapped. "Why are you not, like, asleep? Like normal people, you know?"

"I couldn't…" the brunette replied glancing down at her feet.

And Hanna visibly softened at those words. She took her hand and led her to the bed.

"C'mere" she motioned for the brunette to lay down, and when Spencer did so she snuggled up to her, resting her head on her chest.

"You're lucky my mom finished her box of Chardonnay tonight" she whispered in the crook of the brunette's neck. "But I'm glad you came" she smiled.

"I just really needed to see you" Spencer husked, stroking her hair. "Make sure that you were safe"

"… I know the feeling"

The brunette's instinctively tightened her grip on her girlfriend, while Hanna drew random patterns on her stomach with her fingertips.

"I feel safe in your arms, you know?" the blonde shyly admitted, biting her bottom lip. "You're warm and soft, yet so strong. I keep thinking that, if it weren't for that big, beautiful brain of yours and your determination, we'd never have made it out of that place"

"We did it together, Han" Spencer countered. "That's actually what kept me sane through all of this, the fact that, at the end of the day, we were together. And that's also what I resent the most. Believe me, I'd do anything if it means sparing you any of this"

"I know baby, I know" Hanna soothed, turning her head to leave small kisses all along her neck and her collarbone. "Same here"

Spencer raised the blonde's chin and kissed her softly on the lips.

"We'll get through this, I promise" she solemnly affirmed gazing deeply, meaningfully in the shining blue irises of her lover. "We'll find Charles and we'll put an end to this, once and for all. Then we'll move on with our lives. We'll leave this damn town behind with all its drama, the lies, the secrets. No more of this shit. Just you and I"

"Sounds wonderful to me" Hanna whispered wistfully. Dreamy.

"Let's try to get some sleep now"

"Yeah, let's try…" Spencer heavily sighed.

"C'mon, turn on your side" Hanna ordered. "I'll be the big spoon tonight"

The brunette chuckled but ultimately obliged.

"Night, Han" she whispered before passing out. Finally.

Hanna smiled lovingly at her and pressed a kiss to her nape. She wrapped her arms around her slender waist and molded the front of her body closer to Spencer's back, pressing herself into the warmth of her girlfriend.

"Good night, my love"

 _[Three days later]_

"Babe, he was trying to mess with your head" Hanna said gently to her girlfriend, stroking her hand.

"Yeah, you were sleep-deprived. You probably just imagined everything" Aria butted in, while Emily only nodded her head at her two best friends words.

The four girls were sitting on the couch in Dr. Sullivan's office and Spencer had just finished confessing what was plaguing her since the first day in the Dollhouse.

It took some time to convince all the girls, but at the end they abdicated to at the will of their parents. After all, they knew they needed to talk about _that_ at some point with someone – with a specialist.

"I saw the blood covering my hands, my clothes. Smeared across the floor. It looked like someone just dragged a body out of that room. I was…" but the reminiscence was to vivid and the emotion too overwhelming for her to continue, so Dr. Sullivan decided it was time to call it a day.

They opened up, and that was a huge progress in itself for the first day of therapy.

So she kindly dismissed them, scheduling an appointment for the next Thursday.

"Hey, do you guys want to stop by The Brew? Grab something?" Emily tentatively asked.

There was still awkwardness around each other. No wonder, after the tortures and the mind games Charles had put them through.

"Yeah, sounds good to me" Hanna replied.

Aria and Spencer simply tagged along, both offering a small smile but remaining in silence.

When they reached the bar, Hanna immediately ran towards the restroom, informing everyone on the state of her bladder, obviously. Spencer shook her head fondly while the other two brunettes rolled their eyes and smiled. That was Hanna for you.

While Aria and Emily went to take their seat on the couch at the bottom of the room, Spencer was stopped by a very cheerful Sabrina.

"Hi, Spencer" the barista greeted with a warm smile. "How are you doing? Got any sleep?"

"Hey" the brunette smiled back. "Yeah, not so much. Better than nothing, though" she lightly scratched the side of her neck.

"How can I serve you today?" the tall blonde asked raising an eyebrow almost suggestively.

"Uhm, the usual would be fine. Thanks"

Hanna exited the bathroom just in time to watch the exchange. She spotted the two talking amiably, smiling at each other every so often, and just generally getting along.

' _Weird'_ she thought. _'Since when Spence is so friendly? Even more so before taking her dose of caffeine'_

But then the unthinkable happened, and the frown on her face was instantly replaced by a cold mask of rage. Her eyes zeroed in on one small, quick movement, then two, then three and her blood started to boil in her veins.

Sabrina kept making any sort of physical contact with Spencer, _her Spencer_ ; a light touch on the brunette's arm, a hand that lingered way too longer than necessary on her shoulder. A brushing of hair.

Spencer was definitively being flirted with. And, in all likelihood, she did not even realized it.

At least, that's what Hanna kept repeating herself. Because if her girlfriend was actually conscious of the coquettish blonde's advances and was playing along, well… she was going to die an atrocious death.

Hanna decided to actually test her, so she strolled by them feigning ignorance and went to sit herself on the couch beside Emily.

However, her face must have given her away because as soon as she sat, Aria started the questioning.

"Really? You're really going to ignore _that_?" the tiny brunette asked in astonishment, pointing towards an unsuspecting Spencer and her new… acquaintance?

"Where is your inner crazy jealous bitch?"

"Aria!" Emily chastised. "Don't feed the beast. Think of poor Spencer, you're supposed to be her best friend, you know?"

Hanna scoffed while Aria considered it for a second, before waving a hand in a noncommittal gesture.

"If she was my girlfriend, I'd have already gone there and stake my claim. Or dragged her away by her ear" she said nonchalantly.

Emily chuckled uncomfortably at this and lowered her gaze, thanking whatever deity that she wasn't in Spencer's shoes.

"Shh guys, she's coming this away" Aria said in a stage whisper.

"Hey guys, sorry for that. We were catching up" Spencer explained as she plopped down in the armchair beside the couch, the only sit still available.

The other girls exchanged glances and raised eyebrows.

"And since when you two became so close that you actually have things to ' _catch up_ ' on to?" Hanna asked in a clipped tone. Her face was unreadable.

"Who, Sabrina? Oh, well we started to talk the other day and we clicked, I guess. She's pretty nice" Spencer explained genuinely.

' _Shit_. _Double shit. Holy double shit. Spencer, what the hell?'_ Emily cringed, anticipating something very similar to the Apocalypse to come from the blonde at any seconds.

' _So naïve. So, so naïve Spence. You've been a really good friend, this world will sorely miss you'_ Aria shook her head sadly.

Hanna squinted her eyes and pursed her lips together but said nothing. Nothing at all.

And that left two brunettes gawking at each other and the blonde with mouths agape and shocked expressions and the third one blissfully oblivious of what was going on.

Right in that moment, Sabrina came back with their orders.

"Here you go guys, enjoy" she smiled friendly at each one of them, placing their coffees on the table.

She then turned to Spencer with another kind of smile on her face. Soft and mischievous.

"And these are for my favorite customer" she handed the brunette the cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll. "As promised" she winked before leaving.

But then she stopped midway and turned around, having seemingly forgotten something. She approached Spencer and bent down, whispering something in her ear.

"I've got something for you. Hopefully, that'll help you unwind"

Spencer nodded her head and smiled gratefully up at her, taking the small package of weed brownies Sabrina brought her in her hand and stuffing it in her jacket pocket.

Anyway, she was not so quick in doing so and the other girls had all the time to notice the little note pinned to the envelope. Their eyes zeroed in on the writing on the little card:

' _Hey babe, try to relax'._ A giant heart sketched on the side.

"Special treats"

The barista squeezed her shoulder and walked away, leaving three girls switching gazes back and forth from her to the younger Hastings.

Spencer, unaware of the heavy tension that suddenly descended upon them, munched happily on her pastry.

"God, this is so good" she moaned. "That girl has hands of gold"

Three heads snapped at lightened speed to glare at her like she'd just confessed to be Hitler's heir.

"Uhm, why are you guys looking at me like I've just sacrificed a goat to Satan?" Spencer asked truly perplexed.

"You… You…" Emily tried. She really did.

"You're unbelievable!" Aria exclaimed baffled.

"Wha- what did I do?" Spencer tilted her head to one side in confusion, furrowing her brows in a very childlike way.

And Hanna sighed, because the brunette apparently was just _that_ dense.

And really, really adorable. _'Damn you, Spencer'_.

"Nothing" the blonde said, standing up from the couch and going to sit on her girlfriend's lap. She clasped her hands around the taller girl's neck and leaned in to kiss her lovingly.

She moved her mouth to the brunette's neck and began to suck on it, intently leaving a noticeable hickey.

However, as she purposefully kept an eye open, she scanned the room and locked gaze with a slightly gaping Sabrina.

Hanna smirked at this and kissed Spencer anew, this time almost ferociously, forgetting all about the barista – or the other people around for that matter.

' _Yeah, that's right: she's mine. Suck it up, bitch'_

Spencer pulled away only when air became a necessity. They were both breathless.

She looked up with a darkened gaze into Hanna's eyes and noticed that they were now dark too. Her heart pounded in her chest.

"Han, let's go home" Spencer husked into the smaller girl's ear. "Like, right now"

"Oh, but you have yet to finish your treat" Hanna teasingly pointed towards the half eaten pastry on the plate. "Wouldn't want to upset _Sabrina_ , now, would we?"

So yeah, she was still pissed as hell after all.

"I don't give a shit about her" Spencer groaned rather rudely.

She really didn't mean it to say such harsh words, but after the way her girlfriend had just kissed her well… she was preoccupied with other things just now, she couldn't care less about etiquette and good manners.

"I want you" she growled.

That was all Hanna needed and wanted to hear.

They hastily bade their goodbyes to their two flabbergasted friends and hurriedly left the place, sprinting towards Spencer's car.

 _[Many hours later, Spencer's bedroom]_

"Hey there, sleepy head" Spencer murmured softly stroking the blonde's cheek.

"Hey" Hanna smiled lazily up at her. "That was amazing, Spence" she grinned. "How long was I passed out?"

"Mmm" Spencer mumbled, already starting a new assault on her lover's body. "'bout ten minutes" she replied.

"Gosh, you're insatiable! Where do you get all this stamina?" Hanna groaned, half in frustration half in pleasure. "We're going at it for, like, the ninth time"

"Mmm" the brunette was too occupied nibbling and biting at the blonde's collarbone to formulate a full sentence.

"Do you- do you realize that sex can also be an addiction, right?"

"Hanna, shut up. Sex now, talk later"

"Did you just shush me?" the blonde asked bewildered. "Spencer Hastings, did you just shu- Oooh God, don't stop! Don't fucking stop" she hissed as the brunette sucked on a particular sensitive spot on her breasts.

"That's what I thought" Spencer smirked.

"Oh, don't get so cocky with me missy" Hanna slapped her on the shoulder.

"Or else?" the brunette raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"I just happen to have the greatest collection of undergarments as you're well aware, so if that's not enough to make you behave, well that's going to be your problem and someone's else joy" Hanna teased.

But Spencer actually seemed to ponder this carefully.

"Noted" she dutifully nodded.

"Good girl" the blonde patted her head affectionately. "And now that we're clear, you may resume your previous activities" she graciously offered.

"Yeah, yeah…" Spencer grumbled. "Really feelin' the love here"

"Any complaints?" Hanna challenged, pulling slightly away.

"No no no, gosh no. Come back here! Hannaaa" the brunette laughed.

"God, you're obsessed I swear!"

"You said it yourself, sex can also be and addiction" she defended herself. "And, I happen to be soo addicted to you" she wiggled her eyebrows comically.

"Dork" the blonde giggled. "That was so lame"

"Mmm, I'll concede you that. Though it's true" Spencer smiled. "Now, get your ass back here"

"Fiiine" Hanna huffed, "if I must…" she smirked.

"Well, it's not like you _have to_. If you don't want to, I'm sure Sabrina will be more than happy to take your spot in my bed" Spencer snickered and waited.

' _One, two, three…'_

"Wait, so you did know!" her girlfriend exclaimed, completely aghast. "SPENCER!"

 **A/N: Thank you all for reading and sharing your thoughts on this story.**

 **To the anonymous guest: The Smiths, indeed ;) I just couldn't stop listening to that song for like ten days in a row. Guess I went through one of my moods lately.**

 **So, next chapter another time-skip. Spanna during their years in college. I think I'll end this story around chapter 23 (Epilogue included). Just so you know. Hope you'll stay with me ;)**


	18. Into each life some rain must fall

_Georgetown, November 2015_

The brunette woke up to the feeling of dexterous fingers running gently through her hair and soft, warm lips pressing butterfly kisses all over her face. With her eyes still shut, she smiled lazily at the girl that was lying in bed beside her, their limbs tangled together.

"Hey"

"Hey yourself" Hanna beamed down at her. "Slept well?"

"Mmm" Spencer groggily murmured. "God, we haven't left this bed in three days"

"That's because I haven't seen you in two weeks and I've missed you" the blonde smirked.

"However, it's time to get up. You're out of food"

"We can always order takeout" Spencer proposed, hoping she didn't have to get up . "Do you fancy Chinese?"

"Really?" Hanna raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow, skeptical. "Where is your Hastings attitude? That obsession of yours for 'healthy food'?" she teased as she held up her hands to make air quotes. "What about your motto 'why enjoy today when you could be worrying about tomorrow'?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it" Spencer groaned as she climbed out of the bed and quickly started to throw on some clothes. "Anything in particular you want me to pick?" she asked her girlfriend, already knowing the answer.

As the blonde recited her list of ice creams, chips and other junk food she wanted Spencer to pick, the brunette couldn't help but smile to herself and think that, after four years together, she still loved this girl with everything she had.

She gave one last peck to the blonde's lips before leaving the apartment and going groceries shopping.

As she walked down the street in the uninviting crisp air of the night, her thoughts drifted on the past three years of her life.

The brunette had recently obtained her undergrad in Political Science, with a minor in Criminal Justice, and was currently looking for a job. Her parents were pressing her to start immediately Law School, but Spencer wanted to take a little time off to collect her thoughts and sort out what she truly wanted in life. Like travel around the world, make new experiences and find a job all on her own. But up to that point, the only thing she was sure of was Hanna. That girl was her cornerstone.

The only problem was, her girlfriend was living her dream in another city.

A year and a half ago, a renowned fashion designer hired her and, thanks to the blonde's passion for the job and her hard-working attitude, in a very short time Hanna became the woman's personal assistant. It was a huge gratification, but the job was tough and its ungodly hours were tiring.

The physical distance between them and the fact that they now had a limited amount of time to devote each other due to their respective commitments obviously affected their relationship. Despite their efforts to make things work. And they pledged, a lot, to make it work.

There was no other choice. Not when two people loved each other as much as they did. Not when neither of them could imagine a life without the other. In any capacity.

So, they were doing everything and anything they could to keep in touch as frequently as possible (thank God they lived in an era when things like Skype, Snapchat, FaceTime existed); and they promised to visit each other in turns, whenever possible, at least for a week-end every two weeks.

It was hard, but so far things were fine. Or as much as they could have been.

They still had their fights, after all, and certainly the distance did not help to dissipate the anxiety, the insecurities, the fears. On the contrary, it only fueled them.

Like that time, when Spencer opened her Instagram after weeks of neglect and immediately was assaulted by pictures of her girlfriend at some glamorous party, sitting on a red leather couch in a privé of a club, seemingly enjoying the company of many gorgeous, sculptured, absolutely flawless models all around her. The pictures were innocent enough – all the blonde was doing was laughing and drinking with them – but Spencer felt a strong sense of possessiveness and jealousy rising up inside her all the same. She immediately called the blonde and the two fought for hours at the phone, until an extremely pissed and frustrated Hanna abruptly hang up on her. Spencer ended up booking the first flight to New York that same night. She rushed to the blonde's apartment with flowers and heartfelt apologies and almost immediately Hanna caved-in and forgave her. They spent the next two days making up in the bedroom – much as they did this time around.

Spencer smirked at the memory, but a sudden gust of cold wind made her shiver so she increased the pace of her steps. She couldn't get home fast enough.

Unbeknownst to the brunette, in the warmth and comfort of her house Hanna was currently having her same train of thoughts.

The blonde, clad in only Spencer's Georgetown University's navy sweatshirt and panties, was lying on her stomach on the bed, absentmindedly flicking through her Cosmo magazine.

She was sporting a huge grin on her face, as she replayed in her mind the last three days they had spent together. It has been pure perfection.

From the moment she stepped foot inside Spencer's apartment, they haven't done anything else but make love and cuddle all day long, pausing occasionally only to eat or get some rest.

' _Pure perfection, indeed'_ , Hanna smirked to herself.

And that, she planned on continue to do as soon as Spencer would come back.

However, she was forced back to reality when Spencer's phone, abandoned on the nightstand, started to buzz.

Hanna shook her head affectionately at her girlfriend's forgetfulness; reaching out to grab the phone, she answered the call, thinking it was Spencer on the other line calling from a pay phone or something like that.

"What am I going to do with you? I swear, if your head wasn't glued to your neck, you'd probably...-"

"Uhm, hello?" A gruff, masculine voice cut her off, "Is it Miss Hastings I'm speaking to?" the man asked.

"Uh? Oh yeah. Sorry" Hanna hastily apologized, a little startled. "I'm Hanna Marin, Spencer's girlfriend. She's momentarily out and she forgot her phone home" she then proceeded to explain.

"Oh, I see. I'm Dr. Altman, Spencer's former professor in College. Could you please inform Miss Hastings that I tried to contact her as soon as she gets back?"

"Uh, yes. Of course" the blonde assured. "I'll tell her right away. Is there anything I can do for you? Can I help, or would you like to leave a message?" she asked, detecting the urgency in the man's voice.

"Well, it's just that something came up. A magnificent opportunity, in fact, that I believe Miss Hastings would be very interested in" the professor excitedly announced, somewhat proud with himself.

"Oh?" Hanna raised an eyebrow, suddenly very interested in what this old man could have possibly imply. "That is great. And, may I ask you what is it?"

"But of course!" the man replied all chirpy.

Hanna would have found him endearing in any other circumstance. Or annoying. But now the only think she could concentrate about was the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. This whole conversation was leaving her uneasy, as if she sensed something big was about to happen.

"There's been an opening at the Us embassy in Madrid for an internship, for a period of two years, with the possibility of being hired as a diplomatic agent once the stage is over. There are only few spots still available, and we have little time to submit the application. If Miss Hastings is interested, of course. Though something tells me that she is, seeing how ambitious she was since her freshman year" the man chuckled lightly.

Hanna froze. Her vision blurred and she felt like the world was spinning.

' _This is not happening'_ she kept telling herself over and over.

"So yeah, I trust you'll report this to Spencer as soon as possible. This is a chance of a lifetime and I cannot imagine a person more deserving than Miss Hastings"

"Yeah, I'll have her call you back. Good evening, Professor"

She unceremoniously hang up without waiting for the older man's goodbyes. She felt too dizzy to think clear; too shocked and upset to worry about etiquette.

The only think she could think about was: _'She's going to leave me'_.

And then, it truly hit her. The severity of the situation.

Just as she was about to have a mild panic attack, Spencer opened the door to her apartment and stepped in, carrying several shopping bags.

"Hey babe" she greeted, walking to the kitchen to unpack the groceries; "so, I think I got everything. Except the pink Starburst. They were all over, sorry"

But Hanna didn't say anything.

She just rushed towards the brunette, embracing her tightly from behind and resting her head in between the taller girl's shoulder blades. Silent tears were streaming down her face.

"Hey" Spencer smiled to herself, unaware of the mood her girlfriend's was into. "You're awfully cuddly today!"

She started to move only to have the blonde tightening her grip around her waist, effectively stopping her.

"Don't. Please don't turn around" Hanna whispered. "Let's just stay this way for a bit. Please"

Now, Spencer was concerned. But she granted the blonde her wish.

"You're soaking wet" the blonde said after a while.

They were still locked in that embrace.

"It started to rain all of a sudden. A downpour caught me by surprise"

' _How ironic. I could say the same'_ Hanna thought, letting go the brunette.

Spencer turned to face her and for the first time noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Oh, sweet girl" she sighed. "What happened? Hey, don't cry. Whatever is it you can tell me" she said, swiping her girlfriend's tears with her thumbs.

"Your professor, Dr. Altman I believe he said…" she looked up into Spencer's confused eyes and when the brunette nodded in confirmation she continued; "He called and… and you really need to talk to him"

"Why? What did he want?"

"Spencer just… just call him back" Hanna choked out, stepping away.

"Wait! I don't understand. When are you going?"

"Taking a shower. We'll talk later. Call him now"

And with that the blonde quickly left for the bathroom, leaving a dumbstruck Spencer behind.

The blonde just managed to close the door behind her as she burst into a fit of heart-wrenching sobs.

She stepped into the shower hoping the cascade of hot water would have sufficed to wash away all her tears.

And in that moment she remembered one of their nastiest fight.

 _[May 2015]_

 _Spencer got home after a long, satisfactory meeting with one of her most esteemed teachers, Professor, Dr. Altman. He was a rather influential man, who knew lots of people and was very well-connected. And the brunette just happened to be one of his favorite students._

 _She was still fresh of graduation when the man called her one day and offered her a position as a lobbyist for one of his friend's corporation._

 _Now, it was not really Spencer's ideal job but she was thrilled and grateful nonetheless, so she accepted immediately. After all, it was a fixed-term contract for the duration of six months._

 _She_ _immediately dropped herself on the couch and dialed Hanna's number, eager to share the news with her girlfriend._

 _The blonde, however, was not at all impressed. On the contrary._

 _Because, naively enough, she had thought that once Spencer was out of college, the brunette would have moved in with her. In New York._

 _They never really talked about that or broached the subject, but still. It was a genuine dream, a fantasy of hers._

 _And she brought it out in the worst way, at the worst time. And now Spencer was upset with her._

" _Wow. I thought you would be happy for me. Proud. That you'd showed me your support. The kind of stuff a girlfriend is supposed to do, you know?"_

" _Of course I'm proud of you, Spencer! Don't even dare to think otherwise" Hanna yelled on the other side of phone._

" _You have a very funny way of showing it" Spencer snarled back. "You've done nothing but shout at me, eating me alive for something I didn't even have the control over. It's not like I already accepted the job, I wanted to talk with you about it before. Now, I'm starting to regret this decision"_

" _Sounds to me like you've already made up your mind, Spence. So please, spare me the act and don't pretend to give a shit about my opinion. 'Cause it's obvious that you don't" Hanna lashed out without thinking._

 _Now, that was the moment she fucked up._ _She knew it._

 _Spencer was silent for a long time after this; Hanna could only hear her labored breaths._

" _Spence?"_ _she cautiously called her girlfriend, already on the verge to apologize profusely for what she just said._

" _If that is really what you think, Han, then what are you still doing with me?" Spencer whispered brokenly, because the blonde's words stung. A lot._

 _Nobody knew,_ _not their friends nor their families, but that night they broke up._

 _For a week, they didn't speak to each other. They didn't contact each other. And obviously, they didn't see each other. And they were miserable._

 _So, this time around was the blonde to take the first flight to Washington and rush to Spencer's apartment to apologize all over again._

 _That night they made up and they made a promise: to support each other unconditionally. To never stand between their respective dreams and aspirations. To make things works for the time being, until they could finally have the chance to live together, at the end._

This time around, despite feeling torn Hanna decided she wasn't going to make the same mistake. She was going to honor that promise. Even if it meant getting her heart broken.

' _This is a life time opportunity. I can't imagine a more deserving person than Miss Hastings for this job'._

Professor Altman's words echoed in her mind, strengthening her resolve.

She was proud of _her_ Spencer, and she was going to support her.

 **[Later that same night]**

They talked.

After Hanna stepped out of the bathroom she met Spencer in the kitchen. The brunette had just finished talking to her former teacher and was currently sitting on the couch, her gaze fixed on the coffee table, unwavering. Her expression devoid of any emotion.

It was hard say what she was thinking about.

But Hanna knew. She'd always known.

The blonde sighed and approached her, taking her hand. She led her to the kitchen and they ate, perfectly in silence.

They cleaned the table and washed the dishes, still in silence.

Then, when uttering words became a necessity, for the both of them, they finally talked.

It was maybe the most painful conversation they ever had. Everything came to the surface that night: old grudges, old disputes, divergence of opinions. But also their dreams, their hopes for the future, in regards of themselves as individuals and as a couple.

They thought about where they wanted to go in life. Where they were heading to.

The only conclusion they reached was that they loved each other and they wanted to be together.

They agreed to take a few more days before making any decision. But whatever the decision was, they were going to try and stay together.

That night, they went to bed completely drained.

They didn't make love, but they held onto each other for dear life. They needed to feel the warmth of their bodies, to perceive the strength of their feelings.

Spencer passed out almost immediately, lulled by the soft drumming of the rain.

Hanna didn't sleep a wink. Her anxiety wouldn't let her.

Fears of an unknown future crept in the silent darkness before sliding viciously into her mind. The annoying cacophony generated by the downpour outside resonated in her head.

The mix was overwhelming.

She spent the night observing the silhouette of her sleeping girlfriend in the darkness of the bedroom.

At 3:30 A.M. she got up from the bed and quietly padded to the kitchen to make herself some coffee.

' _It's the right thing to do. You promised'_

At 4:15 A.M. she made her way back to the bedroom and started to collect her clothes. She dressed and then she started to pack her things. Not every single item she had in Spencer's apartment, just the necessary. Like the brunette's sweatshirt.

' _This is the way things were supposed to be. You're going to do exceptional things in your life, Spence, and I can't stand in your way. I won't do that. I love you too much to hold you back. I was selfish once, I won't do that again'_

At 5:05 A.M. her things were packed. Her cab was waiting outside. She bent down and brushed aside the silky brown locks of her girlfriend that in her sleep had fallen all over her face. She pressed one last kiss to the brunette's forehead and left.

Without a word.

Without a note.

It wasn't necessary.

Tomorrow Spencer would wake up in a cold, empty bed without a blonde head resting on the other side and she would know why. She would know that Hanna left for her benefit. And that she left in silence because there was just no other way.

' _How can you love someone and not being able to be with them? Maybe one day you'll forgive me. I know this will hurt. Right now, I feel like I can't breathe without you. But I can't go back. I'm doing this for you, can't you see? Can you understand, my love? You're going to be, like, the next President in a few years. Maybe one day you'll come back and maybe I'll meet you again. Maybe, by that time, you'll have forgotten me. I'm sorry Spence. I'm so sorry. Maybe the only reason why I'm doing this is because I'm a coward and I'm scared. I'm so scared to pick up your call one day and having you tell me that you met someone else. That you won't come back to me. That things will be too hard and our relationship will slowly and excruciatingly expire. And that is something I don't think I could survive. I'd rather you hate me than your indifference. I love you, always'. I'll never forget you, pretty girl'._

With this thoughts running through her head, Hanna desperately cried herself throughout her journey back to New York.

 **[Five days later]**

Five days. It's all that took it for Hanna to understand that she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

She was in the middle of a meeting at work when someone asked her why she was crying. She hadn't realized it until then that the floodgates were open.

She all but ran away from the meeting room. She called a cab, went to the airport and rushed back to Georgetown. Back to the love of her life.

Around 22:00 P.M. she was pounding on Spencer's door like a possessed. Sobbing and screaming and calling her name and begging for her to take her back. To forgive her.

She felt a strong hand clasping her shoulder and for a moment her heart stopped.

She was going to turn around and met familiar chocolate eyes. She was going to say how much of a stupid she had been to leave her, and Spencer was going to take her in her arms and silence her with a searing kiss.

However, her hopes and her heart were crushed when the person behind her spoke the words Hanna never wanted to hear.

"Hanna, hi. I'm sorry but I'm afraid your Spencer is no longer here"

The blonde slowly, cautiously turned around. And instead of chestnut hair and warm, brown eyes, she met an elderly woman with short, graying hair and piercing grey eyes. She recognized her as Spencer's neighbor, Mrs. Lewis. A kind woman with whom she exchanged small talk from time to time, when she came visit her girlfriend. Or ex-girlfriend.

"Uh?" Hanna asked aghast.

"Oh, sweetie" the older woman sighed. "She moved out the other day. She said she was going to Spain at the end of the week? You didn't knew?"

"She's gone?" the blonde asked, ignoring everything else.

"I'm sorry Hanna" Spencer's neighbor confirmed. "She's gone"

 **A/N: So, another breakup. Next chapter, time skip and the girls will see each other after a long time. What will happen, I wonder…**

 **As I'm going to approach the final arc of this story, I was debating with myself if I should stay somewhat true to the canon story and including A.D. as the main villain or not. I'm very much inclined to go almost totally AU for the final chapters, but I would like to know your thoughts about that.**

 **Even if I already wrote down a some sort of storyline and I like the direction things are heading in my head. So, let me know? Thanks for reading.**


	19. To see you again

_**A little warning: the last part of this chapter contains scenes of violence and verbal/physical abuse. It's nothing too visual and there's no sexual assault, but the reading might be disturbing, depending on your sensitiveness. So if that's not your thing, you should probably not read it.**_

 _Rosewood, June 2018_

Three years.

It had been three years since the last time Spencer set foot in the small town she once swore she was going to left behind, for good.

But it is common knowledge that time changes things. And people. And perspectives.

It was weird being back after such a long period, especially for someone who has, in the meantime, traveled the world and met thousands of people and made such life-changing experiences as the brunette did.

But, surprisingly enough, Spencer didn't feel constricted, oppressed or anxious like she had thought she would feel once back. Rather, she was wrapped in a bittersweet sensation.

For the first time in her life, she actually thought of Rosewood as a possible place to call home, in the near future.

Yes, time and space were all she needed to reach a point in her life where she was at peace with this place. With her memories, her history, her identity. Finally.

The years she spent in Europe helped her to grow into the confident, strong woman she now was.

She was ready to move on with her life, and she figured the right way to do so was to start from where everything began.

And maybe, it had something to do with what she discovered about herself and her family while she was abroad – amazing, how often in life someone could find out the truth about their roots only when they are far away from their home.

She never, ever felt this close to her family before. Despite everything.

The only thing that troubled her, at the moment, was the thought of seeing a certain someone again. But she was determined to hold her ground. She wasn't going to get all mushy and emotional over something that clearly belonged to the past. Even as it was something as meaningful as it had been.

So, taking a few deep breaths to steady herself and plastering her most charming, award-winning, Spencer Hastings smile on her face, she strolled with a certain swagger to her walk into The Brew, ready to meet the four most important girls – women, nowadays – in her life.

There were things in her life that could never change. Aria, Alison, Emily and Hanna were some of them.

"Oh my God! Look who's finally bothered to show up" the smaller brunette in the group shrieked.

As soon as they spotted her, she was swallowed up in a mess of arms and hands and kisses on the cheek and excited squeals. That was just how much her friends had missed her.

Only Hanna approached her cautiously, almost nervously, as if she was approach a feral animal and didn't knew if it was going to bite her. As if she was afraid that Spencer would refuse her.

The two awkwardly but intensely stared at each other for a long time, and so much emotions passed between them that the air all around them all of a sudden crackled with electricity.

That was the moment their friends realized it was only common decency on their part to leave the pair alone, for a while at least.

"Hey, long time no see" Spencer broke the silence, offering a small grin.

"Definitely too long" the blonde murmured, still taken aback by the vision of the brunette standing in front of her.

 _'She looks so mature, so confident and put together. And_ so _damn_ _sexy'_

It was like she couldn't believe her eyes.

That is probably why she snapped out of her reverie and stepped in the brunette's personal space, finally, _finally_ taking a hold of her in her arms.

Yeah, Spencer was really there, so close that she could smell her refined, expensive perfume.

God, how she missed _that_ smell.

The brunette let out a weak chuckle at her ex-girlfriend's words but returned wholeheartedly the embrace, feeling slightly uncomfortable but also pleased, and warm.

And feeling that familiar tug at her heart that she hadn't felt for almost three years.

But the intimacy of the moment was broken when they pull apart, and the magic was completely lost when a tall, handsome guy came up to Hanna's side and wrapped his arm almost _possessively_ around her waist.

Spencer reflexively squinted her eyes at the gesture, but she refrained to comment.

Hanna, for her part, looked extremely embarrassed and turned her gaze on some spot on the floor, trying to avoid eye-contact with each one of them.

The man looked at her a little suspiciously and very much annoyed, but he quickly covered it up with a smile as much radiant as it was fake.

"Hi, you must be Spencer, right? I'm Jordan Hobart, Hanna's boyfriend" he said extending his hand.

Neither of them noticed the glare Hanna threw his way at those words.

"Yeah, I gathered as much" the brunette couldn't help the hedge in her voice.

Never one to back down, even in petty circumstances, she shook his hand more firmly that she would have done with any other person.

"Spencer Hastings, indeed" and her lips tugged just a little to form a small smirk. "Pleased to meet you, _Jordy"_ she purposefully came up with the nickname to poke fun at him.

"Jordan" the man repeated, slightly irritated. "Oh, the pleasure is all mine, believe me. I've heard so many great things about you from your friends in the last hour" he smirked back.

But Spencer caught the true meaning behind his unspoken words: _'I had no freaking idea who the hell you were until today. Hanna never uttered a word about you'._

"Well, I'm afraid I can't say the same" she countered back, this time faking her best apologetic smile.

Hanna made a small, weird noise at the back of her throat, clearly feeling uncomfortable. Luckily for her, her phone buzzed and she frowned at the screen.

"Sorry, it's Claudia. I have to take this call" she sighed and excused herself, stepping away to take the call and deal with her boss.

Leaving her seemingly boyfriend and her ex-girlfriend alone. To talk.

Okay, so maybe this was not the happy coincidence she had thought it was.

"So" Jordan cleared his throat, "I've heard you just came back from… France?"

"Spain, actually. But I traveled a lot during these three years"

"That's good" he replied, and for a moment he seemed genuinely interested in Spencer's experience abroad. "And how long are you planning to stay? They told me you're working for the Embassy abroad"

Spencer raised an eyebrow, both in amusement and irritation. _'Smooth, dude. Subtlety is not really your thing, uh?'_.

"Truth to be told, I'm moving back to the States"

Oh, the joy with which she looked at him as he tensed up and stiffened.

' _What, is it not good news for you?'_ the brunette was trying hard to suppress a laugh seeing his bewildered expression.

"Oh. Oh, that's wonderful" he quickly managed to cover. "That would make things much more easier, actually" and now it was his turn to smirk.

"How so?" Spencer furrowed her brows skeptically.

"Well, you know, Hanna and I are going to tie the knot soon, and it'd be a shame if her _friend_ couldn't make it because of the distance"

That was a low, low blow. One that hit Spencer right in her gut, nearly knocking the wind out of her.

She honestly felt like someone had stabbed her repeatedly in the chest.

But she was too proud to show any sign of defeat, or to show just how desperate she felt at the moment.

She didn't know how, but she managed to put on a mask of cold indifference as she stepped closer to the man, invading his space. Bringing her mouth close to his hear and clasping his shoulder in a vice grip, she whispered in her most intimidating voice: "Okay, fun time is over bud. Listen closely now, because I'm deadly serious and I'm not going to repeat myself"

She waited for the guy to nod in understanding before continuing.

"You better treat her right and make her happy, you hear me? If you hurt her in any way I will not hesitate to come to you and kick your sorry ass all the way back to wherever you come from. Are we clear?"

"How protective" Jordan smirked, shrugging the brunette's hand off of him. "Hanna's so lucky to have such a good friend. Don't worry though, I'll treat her like she deserves. I have the tendency to take great care of what's mine"

There was something in his voice that put Spencer off, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was. One thing was sure, though: she didn't trust him one bit.

And that not only because of the jealousy. Something was wrong with this guy, she knew it. It was a gut feeling she had right from the start.

However, she decided to let it go for the moment. There wasn't much she could do, was there? Hanna was going to marry the asshole, that she liked it or not.

The uneasiness from earlier reappeared at the thought and she suddenly needed to get some fresh air.

She regarded the man with one last meaningful gaze before making her way towards her friends, whom for the entire time had been not so subtly observing their exchange.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry but something came up and I have to go" she made up an excuse to leave.

"Oh no Spence" Aria and Emily whined in chorus, but Alison stared at her knowingly.

The two of them grew really close over the past several months, especially during the time they spent together in London.

"Okay" the blonde said, "but you have a dinner date tonight. Don't forget"

"Wouldn't dream of it" Spencer affectionately rolled her eyes and, after one last group hug, left.

"Seven at my place. Bring the wine" Alison called after her.

She stumbled in Hanna on the door and for an instant their gazes locked.

"Are you leaving already?" the blonde sounded disappointed.

"Yeah, I have something to do. See you later"

And with that, she disappeared. Leaving a slightly teary-eyed blonde staring after her in mild despair.

 **[Later, at Alison's]**

That night there were only the five of them at Alison's place, much to Spencer's relief. She didn't think she would have been able to bear Jordan's presence any more than she already did.

However, now she had other things much more important to focus on.

"Dinner was lovely, Ali" Emily complimented. "You've become an excellent cook"

"Yeah, yeah, it was all good" Hanna butted in. "Now tell us why we're here. What's the occasion?"

Spencer smiled a little because, well, Hanna was still _Hanna_. She was glad to find that the blonde hadn't changed much. She was still her bubbly and outspoken self.

She and Alison exchanged a glance and the brunette nodded.

"There's something you need to know" Spencer suddenly spoke, and all the eyes were instantly on her.

"OMG, you guys aren't seeing each other, are you?" Aria, already smashed with having consumed only two glasses of wine, suddenly cut in. She was a lightweight, figures.

Both Hanna and Emily's faces immediately darkened at the mere suggestion.

"WHAT?" Spencer shrieked in horror, earning a glare from Alison.

"God, no. That would be incest!"

The other three girls looked dumbfounded at each other, then at the improbable pair.

"Spencer is right" Alison sighed. "We're going to explain everything, but you have to let us talk and not interrupt. It's already complicated enough without having you butting in every two minutes"

"Alright, we get it. Now spill" Hanna said, looking straight into Spencer's eyes.

"Okay, so… where do I begin? Seven months ago, I was in London for a business trip. I was waiting for my driver to pick me up when I suddenly raised my head and… there she was, just across the street. I saw her" she stopped and took a moment to collect herself.

"Who? Ali?" Aria cut her off once again, earning herself some glare.

"No. The woman I later discovered to be my biological mother" the taller brunette continued and everyone, except Alison, gasped.

Spencer held out her hand to stop the questions that were already burning on her friend's tongues.

"When I first saw her, I couldn't believe my eyes. I thought I must've gone crazy. The woman was identical to Jessica Dilaurentis. In fact, she's her twin sister"

"WHAT?"

Spencer sighed and handed them her phone, showing the girl a picture of the woman.

"This is crazy. Absolutely insane" the girls mumbled in disbelief.

"To make it short, after my initial shock I approached her and what initially threw me off was the fact that she didn't look in the least surprised that I did that. She knew who I was. She kept tabs on me my whole existence. She led me into this bar and I immediately started to bombard her with all the questions that were popping into my head. She said that she was my mother, and that I had a twin sister whom unfortunately died during the delivery" she had to stop because her voice cracked with emotion at this part.

It was hard to open up about this, but they had a right to know.

"Spence…" Alison whispered softly.

"It's okay. I'm fine" the brunette reassured her. "She said that… that she slept with my father, Peter, for revenge against her sister. She and Jessica… there was bad blood between them. Anyway, she slept with him and she got pregnant. And after nine months…"

"And you believed her? I mean, we never heard of this person before" Emily interrupted.

"That was perhaps the hardest part to listen to. She was a patient at Radley since she was young, and Jessica and their parents hid her existence to everyone. The Radley… there's where I was born. Obviously, she couldn't keep me, so my father took me with him and Veronica raised me like I was her own child. I asked her and she confirmed everything"

"Oh God… Spence, I… I don't know what to say" Aria whispered.

"So, you and Ali are what? Cousins?" Emily asked.

"Yes" Alison replied.

"Wait, doesn't that make you and Jason both half-siblings and cousins?"

"Yep" Spencer replied.

"Wow, this is so messed up" Hanna exhaled.

"There's more. When I started to tell Mary about me, I ended up telling her about… you know, the whole –A thing and about Alison, of course. Then, when Charlotte's name popped up…"

"What happened?"

"She's also Mary's daughter. She didn't know she was alive. Remember that fake grave we visited? Jessica made her believe she was dead. Now, she would like to come back and meet her, take care of her during her recovery in Welby"

The girls seemed to ponder all of this.

"That makes sense, I guess" Emily shrugged.

"Wait, so Charlotte is not Alison's sister but her cousin, and your half-sister? God, I'm having the biggest headache of my life" Aria groaned.

"Yeah, don't tell me 'bout that" Spencer snorted.

"Did Charlotte know about any of this?" Hanna asked.

"Did she know you were… that you were sisters? During the time she was –A. When she kidnapped and locked us up in the Dollhouse. Did she know?"

"No, I don't think so. Not that it would've made a difference to her" Spencer replied softly.

And she was instantly enveloped in a soothing embrace by all her friends.

This turn of events left everyone pretty shocked and speechless for a long time.

"There's one more thing. At least, we'll end this night on a positive note" Alison spoke up, putting an end to a very uncomfortable silence. When she was sure she had all the other girl's attention, she passed along five empty glasses and grabbed a bottle of Champagne.

The other glanced at her curiously.

"When I reached Spencer in London, I got to know my aunt and that was nice, I guess. But during my stay I also met someone else. Someone very special" the blonde gushed.

"His name is Archer, he's a doctor. I don't know, we instantly clicked and then there he was asking me to marry him and… I said yes. We're going to get married this Saturday" she squealed in excitement and everyone got up to congratulate her.

Everyone but Emily.

Instead, the former swimmer stood up and walked out on the porch.

Alison was about to follow her when Spencer stopped her.

"I'm on it" she simply said.

She reached Emily and sat beside her on the porch stairs.

"Hey" she nudged lightly her shoulder, passing her a beer, "Wanna talk about it?"

"What's there to say? She's getting married. To a complete stranger. I'm happy for her"

Spencer sighed and clinked their bottles together.

"Here to our miserable selves" she said as she took a long sip.

The other brunette regarded her carefully, almost sympathetically.

"How are you holding everything up, Spence?" she asked softly.

"Eh… at first, I was pretty much, uh, appalled I guess. It was truly a shock for me. I mean, my family has always been 'complicated', they always had secrets, but I didn't expect it to be to such an extent. Now, I've wrapped my mind about all this crap and I've come to terms with it. There's nothing much I can do besides accept it for what it is, is there?"

"I guess no" Emily shrugged. "And… what about Hanna?"

"What about her?"

"Spencer" the former swimmer said pointedly, giving her a look.

"Fine" the brunette let out a shaky breath. "Seeing her again has been, I don't know… both incredible and awful, in a way"

"Elaborate, please"

"God, you're worse than me Em, you know?" Spencer chuckled lightly, but soon her mood sombered. "When she left me without an explanation, I was distraught. Completely shattered. I was so mad at her…" her voice cracked and she had to stop for a moment.

"I mean, I knew why she did what she did, on some level, but… I felt like she robbed me of the opportunity to make a choice. I felt like she never trusted me, after all. I would've chose her over anything. I honestly thought, whatever was my decision in the end, that we would've made it. That we were strong enough as a couple to overcome anything. But we weren't. Not at the time"

"She came back, you know? Five days after she left, she came back to Washington but you were already gone" Emily felt the necessity to inform her, even if it wasn't her place.

That new piece of information surprised Spencer, a lot. But she didn't show it.

"I understand her reasons, now. I do. But… at the time, I was in so much pain. She made that choice for the both of us and I went along with it. I packed my things, I booked a flight and I left the country. But believe me, I carried all the hurt and the angst with me all along the way to Europe"

They were silent for a long time after this, only occasionally taking sips from their bottles. Then:

"I never forgot her. I tried so hard to move on. At first, I buried myself in work, then I started to go out. I met so many people in this past three years, Em, and no one has ever come as close to touch my soul as she did. I honestly thought we were going to spend our lives together, you know?" Spencer whispered meekly in the dark of the night.

"But I guess we weren't really on the same page. Or if we were, it's not like this anymore"

"Why you say that?" Emily asked. "Because of... what's his name again?"

"Jordan" the brunette replied through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, right. Is it because of him? 'Cause they don't seem to be _that_ serious"

"Except they are" Spencer clenched her jaw.

"He told you that? What did you guys talk about earlier at The Brew? It looked like a pretty intense conversation was going on in there"

"You could say that" the other brunette snorted. "Basically, he had to make a point about their relationship's status and stake his claim on Hanna"

"What do you mean?" Emily asked confused.

"Let's just say I'm invited to their incoming wedding. As Hanna's 'long lost best friend', you know? How nice of him, uh?"

"Wha- Spence, are you sure there wasn't some kind of misunderstanding? Hanna never mentioned anything to me about getting married"

"I don't know, it's what he said Em. Even if it's not in their agenda right at the moment, eventually they will, right?" Spencer replied dejected, as tears were forming in her eyes.

"She moved on. Guess I'll have to do the same sooner or later…" she said as Emily took her in her arms.

And she let herself cry, finally.

Unbeknownst to them, someone overheard almost their entire conversation. That someone namely being Hanna.

She had been hidden the whole time behind the door, that was left ajar by the two brunettes when they got out on the porch.

The girl was absolutely dumbstruck and crestfallen by what she just heard.

' _Spence has still feelings for me'._

' _Jordan told her we're getting married? Where the hell did that come from? As if I could ever…'_

Then she realized what mess her "boyfriend" had just put her into, and she was absolutely infuriated with him.

' _What a_ _big asshole, son of a bi-_ '

"I think I'll go home now. Want a ride?"

Spencer's voice interrupted her train of thoughts, bringing her back.

"Yeah, if you don't mind" Emily replied. "I don't think I can stay here any longer"

"Ditto. I'm pretty much beat. Let's go say goodbye to the others and then we're out"

Hanna quickly moved out from the door and ran back to the living room, pretending as if nothing happened and she had just not heard what she did.

Her heart was pounding in her chest so hard it threatened to bursts out of her ribcage.

Spencer and Emily bid their goodnights to everyone and soon after left. Aria trailed along after them.

Hanna followed closely behind.

The blonde went back to her room at The Radley Hotel that night to find Jordan already sound asleep.

She looked at him and felt nothing but disgust and rage.

She spent the night on the small couch beside the bed. She preferred it that way.

The morning after, the man woke up to find an extremely pissed Hanna sniffling and glaring at him.

"Hey, baby doll, what's up?" he asked in concern, lazily getting up from the bed and padding towards her.

The thing was, he truly loved her. In his twisted, possessive way.

"Don't touch me!" Hanna shrieked, swatting his hand away.

"Hanna, wha-"

"How could you? How could you say something like that to her?" Hanna stood up and pointed her finger at him accusingly. "Have you lost your mind? When it was that we decided to get married, exactly? 'Cause I sure as hell don't remember we ever had that conversation" at that point, she was yelling in bewilderment.

"Hanna, would you please calm down?" the man implored. "I don't know what you're talking about"

"Don' lie to me! You let her believe something that doesn't even exist. You had no right to meddle in our lives"

"The fuck I didn't" Jordan barked back. "I'm your fuckin' boyfriend, Hanna, or have you forgotten?"

"For Christ's sake, Jordan, how could you be so delusional? I never said we were together, I never promised you anything. We'd been seeing each other casually for what, two months? And you act like I'm your property. You follow me everywhere like a lost puppy. I've had enough of your bullshit"

"Yeah" the man let out a maniacal laugh, "And it just so happened when your ex barged back in your life, how convenient!"

And for a split moment, Hanna almost felt sympathy for him. Almost. But then, he revealed his true colors and all that was left for the blonde to feel was fury and fear.

"YOU'RE JUST A SLUT" he shouted. "Tell me, did I serve my purpose all right? Did I keep your bed warm enough for your bitch?" the man snarled right in Hanna's face.

A loud slap resonated in the room as the blonde's hand connected with his cheek.

"Get out. I'm done with you. I don't ever want to see you again" Hanna pointed towards the door. "I'll have your belongings sent to you"

And then, it happened.

He approached her slowly, quietly, in the same way a predator approaches its prey.

He backhanded her across her face hard enough to split her lip open and then he slammed her against the wall.

Hanna yelped in physical pain, so he shut her mouth with one hand. The other pressed forcefully on her throat.

He leaned down and hissed into her hear: "We're not done until I say so"

Jordan released her from his tight grip and left the room.

Hanna collapsed to the ground, desperate and shaken to the core. She burst into an incontrollable fit of sobs, whishing nothing more in that moment than to be in the safety of Spencer's arms.


	20. True love waits

**A/N: Thank you all for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. I hope this 'sequel' won't disappoint you.**

 _Rosewood, June 2018_

 **[Monday morning]**

She didn't know how many hours she spent crouched on the floor of her room with her knees pulled up to her chest, hiding her face in the space between her tighs.

She was scared, in pain and she was cold.

She felt overpowered. Humiliated. Pathetic.

She felt like shit.

Of course, Hanna has been through much worse in her young life. She's had it tough since she was only a child, and she swore herself through the years that she was done being a victim. She was done feeling unworthy and useless and at the mercy of some random asshole.

She had to endure her father's neglect and dislike, she had to endure her bullies. She had to endure betrayals and cyber-stalkers and killers and just all the worst our society had to offer.

So why did she have to feel this bad because of a scumbag like him?

' _Oh, yeah. Because this time around I'm all alone'._

It was not like she didn't have friends whom would do anything for her. It was that she didn't want to call them and show how weak she still was. After all these years.

There was only one person who could make it better, who would make her feel at ease even in a moment like that, but sadly she lost the privilege to call her when she made the mistake to walk out of her life.

She had only one option left. Her last resort. Her safety net.

She knocked on her door.

"Hanna" Ashely Marin gasped in horror the moment she opened the door and saw her daughter's battered face.

"Oh my God, Hanna" the woman repeated, stricken. "What happened? Oh, baby. Come inside"

That was all it took to the blonde to collapse into her mother's soothing embrace.

She didn't remember much of the next few hours; she felt all blurry and disoriented and worn out. The redhead made her recount the events of the previous night and that was a tiring task in itself. Needless to say, when she finished her story her mom was the embodiment of fury.

 **[Monday night]**

Unlike Hanna, the woman wasted no time to call Spencer for support. If there was a person in this world who was as protective of her little girl as she was, that had to be the brunette.

Not even twenty minutes later after receiving the call and there she was, in the Marin's living room, to get an explanation on what was going on.

Hanna woke up to the sound of two loud voices discussing animatedly.

"Who did this to her?" Spencer inquired. "Mrs. Marin, who did this to Hanna? It was him, wasn't it?"

She paced hysterically in circles, trying to regain some composure and calm down her nerves. Never in her life the tall brunette had experienced this level of raw, blinding rage.

"Yes" Ashley confirmed with a nod of her head.

"Son of a bitch" she hissed, her jaw clenched. "I swear I'm going to kill the bastard with my bare hands"

"Hey, I know how you feel, believe me. But please, don't do anything reckless" the older woman nearly begged, because she knew that Spencer was deadly serious with her threaten.

"I didn't call you so you would go after him. Your place is by Hanna's side"

"Mrs. Marin, I-"

"Please, Spencer. You're the only one I fully trust to take care of her, at least for the time being" she said sincerely. "She needs you"

"Alright" the brunette let out a shaky breath. "I'll take good care of her, I promise. That is, if she wants me to" she added, and there was almost shyness in her voice. Insecurity.

"You've always been her rock. Everything's different now, though nothing's really changed" the older woman couldn't help the warm smile gracing her features.

Spencer's head shot up at the words and she glanced curiously but intently at her. Ashley stared back with the same depth.

But then Hanna appeared, almost sneaking up on them seeing how quietly she padded in the room. As soon as she spotted Spencer, her heartbeat increased and the familiar feeling of butterfly in her stomach raised up and made her body tingle.

Even when she was at her lowest the brunette managed to make her feel… things. Of all sorts.

"Spence" Hanna breathed her name, "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine" she lied. "Seriously, what are you doing here? Did my mom call you?" The questions came out a little more harsh than she intended, but really, she felt ambushed in that precise moment.

She really didn't expect Spencer to be there.

"Han, I… Please, let me in. I just want to help"

She was going to protest before she made the mistake to look up into warm, kind chocolate brown eyes. She knew it was a mistake because, really, when has she ever been able to deny anything to Spencer when she looked at her like _that_.

"Good girl" the brunette smirked knowingly. Hanna never resisted the power of her best puppy-dog eyes.

"You're going to stay with me for a while, if that is okay with you. Your mom already packed some of your clothes"

"Do I have a choice?" Hanna arched an eyebrow, the faintest hint of mirth in her voice.

"Not really" Spencer smiled.

Completely out of habit, even after three years, Spencer placed one hand on the small of the blonde's back while with the other she pick up her luggage, and she led Hanna to her car.

Ashley watched them driving away into the night. She silently prayed for everything to turn out for the better and for the two girls to find their way back to each other.

 **[Tuesday]**

"I don't want to talk about it"

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be there"

"And I don't want the others to know. Not yet " Hanna said softly. "I'm not ready to face them"

"It's okay" Spencer reassured her. "Eventually they'll find out, though. And you know them, I don't think I'll be able to contain their hovering. But in the meantime, you don't have to do anything you don't want to"

"Thank you" she whispered gratefully.

That was the longest conversation they had since Spencer came back. Despite this, up to this point things have been strangely comfortable between them. Even without exchanging much words.

There was no need to talk when they had this innate ability to communicate effortlessly and understand each other with only a glance. There was something magical about it, really.

The night before, as soon as they got into the Hastings' barn Hanna collapsed onto the couch. Spencer watched over her for a while, until eventually she decided to carry her to the bed and taking the sofa for herself.

The blonde slept rather peacefully until, right just before dawn, she started to have a nightmare. Pained screams and whimpers alerted Spencer, whom immediately rushed to her side. Her heart broke at the sight of the girl she loved tossing and trashing around in bed, mumbling incoherent words.

She laid a hand to Hanna's shoulder, trying to shake her awake, but the innocent gesture only agitated the girl more.

The blonde jerked upright and flinched as Spencer's touch.

"Don't touch me! DON'T FUCKIN' TOUCH ME" she started to throw punch in the air, blindly.

"Hanna it's me, it's Spencer" the brunette said gently.

"No no no, stay away from me. Please don't hurt me" the smaller girl cried, shaking her head vehemently. "Please"

"Hanna, open your eyes. Look at me" Spencer tried to wake her from her trance. "Look at me, honey. I'm Spencer, I could never hurt you"

Pronouncing her name for the second time apparently made the trick, seeing as Hanna slowly calmed down and opened her eyes.

"Spence" she whispered brokenly. "Oh my God, Spence"

"Shhh, it's okay" Spencer soothed. "You're okay, he can't hurt you anymore. I promise. You're safe here"

"I-I was on the ground and he… he came back and he kicked me and then I-"

"Hanna, sweetheart. Look at me. You're safe now"

Hanna looked up at her for a moment and that was her undoing. She broke down. Spencer stood there watching her helplessly. She wanted to take her in her arms and hold her but she didn't know how the blonde would react to her touch; she had to restrain herself, for Hanna's sake. No matter how strong the impulse to comfort her was.

She sat on the other side of the bed, keeping her distance and at the same time being as much close to her as she could.

This situation was killing her.

She wished nothing more than to have the motherfucker who did this to the sweetest girl she has ever met at her mercy right now. Oh the things she would do to him.

It took a while, but Hanna eventually calmed down.

Spencer observed her as she laid down and closed her eyes. Her breath steadied.

She looked on the verge of falling back asleep, so Spencer quietly climbed off of the bed.

A small, cold hand clasped around her wrist and next she heard a whispered plead.

"Stay with me"

The brunette laid down beside her again.

"Always"

Hanna scooted closer to her, molding her back against Spencer's front. In response, Spencer wrapped an arm protectively around her waist, bringing her even closer.

"Is this okay?" she asked.

"Perfect"

"Go back to sleep. I won't let anything happen to you"

"I know"

There were their last words before they both slumbered back into a peaceful rest devoid of nightmares.

The next morning, Hanna woke up alone.

The bright rays of sunshine filtered through the curtains, forming suggestive games of light and shadow.

She heard faint noises coming from the kitchen and a strong smell of coffee invaded her nostrils. She walked out of the bedroom and spotted Spencer at the stove, intent on preparing breakfast. A sad smile tugged at her lips, as she lost herself in the reminiscence of happier days when she used to walk behind her, wrap her arms around her waist and kiss her good morning.

Oh, how much she missed those days.

"Morning" Spencer greeted, sensing the blonde's presence in the small room. "How did you sleep?"

"Hey" Hanna smiled back. "Fine, I guess. Considering everything. Though I don't remember making it to the bedroom?" she asked with the slightest inflection in her voice.

"That's because you passed out on the couch" the brunette chuckled. "I carried you to the bed. Thought you'd be more comfortable. Here's your coffee" she not so subtly deflected as she handed the smaller girl a mug.

Hanna eyed the cup carefully, then glanced up at Spencer with the same wary expression, earning a heartfelt roll of the eyes from the brunette.

"It's totally edible, totally amateurs' material" she reassured her.

"So it's not your usual fancy brew, you know, the one that smells like unhappy children and tastes like despair?" the blonde teased.

"Drink your coffee, Hanna" Spencer muttered, trying and failing to suppress a grin.

They sat together at the kitchen counter and ate breakfast in companionable silence.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Hanna asked as she stood up and went to sink to wash the dishes.

"I don't have much to do, so I guess we can do whatever you want" Spencer replied, but then she thought better. "Unless you prefer to be on your own, obviously"

"No, no it's fine" the blonde hurriedly assured. "I could use some company" she added softly.

"Okay, good. Anything you fancy?"

"Mmm, how about we watch a movie?"

"Movie it is, then"

They spent the whole afternoon on the couch watching comedies and eating popcorns. At some point their bodies must have started to gravitate towards each other on their own volition, because now their arms were brushing and their thighs were pressing together. Hanna took the opportunity to inch even closer to Spencer; she looped an arm through hers and rested her head peacefully on the taller girl's shoulder, emitting a contented sigh.

"I missed you so much"

"I missed you, too" Spencer turned her head and pressed a soft kiss to her temple.

The brunette, feeling suddenly bold, clasped her hand and intertwined their fingers together. The blonde squeezed back and started to brush her thumb across Spencer's knuckles, one by one and back.

"I don't love him" Hanna whispered. "Even before he did… even before he did this to me. I was never in love with him"

"Hanna, I-"

"I never stopped loving you" she finally found the strength to confess.

Hanna nuzzled her neck and, as she spoke, her hot breath fell against the brunette's exposed skin, sending shivers down her spine.

Spencer sighed because, dammit, she hadn't gone a night during these years without dreaming of the blonde's gentle touch, her silky skin, her smell, her lips…

But even if the sensation of Hanna's body pressed so tightly against hers felt so right, the timing couldn't be worse.

"We can't do this" Spencer said as she abruptly stood up. "Not right now"

"Spence-"

"Han, there's already so much going on at the moment. And… we're different people, we've changed. If we still have a chance to be together, eventually, I don't want to blow it away rushing things. I want to do everything right. I'm not willing to risk losing you again. Okay?" she asked softly.

"Okay"

 **[Wednesday]**

Hanna was glad to have such wonderful people in her life who cared so much about her and never failed to support her whenever she was in need. Like now.

"Then he came back, after our first fight. I don't know how he managed to break in, all I remember was me getting out of the shower and… a second later, I was on the floor. He punched me. I-I tried to stand up but he started to kick me. He was so mad… he spat in my face. I must've passed out because next thing I know, he was no longer there. I left shortly after"

Emily, Aria, Alison and, of course, Spencer. They were all there for her while she was being questioned by Detective Cavanaugh and his partner, Detective Calderon, about the assault.

The officers took her statement and handed her a paper she had to compile to press charges against the man who did this to her. Who made her feel such a pathetic wreck.

"I don't want to be a victim" she whispered brokenly. "I don't want to feel so weak"

"Hey, you're not weak Han" Aria fiercely affirmed, squeezing her hand.

"Aria's right" Emily nodded. "You're one of the strongest person I know"

"We all have been through a lot, literally through hell and back. And we always made it in the end" Alison added her two cents. "Do you know why? Because we're fighters. And we stick together, no matter what"

"And this time is no different"

"We'll get through this"

Hanna was truly touched. She didn't know why she was so scared to confront them. Of course they would have never judged her, they would never think any less of her. They only wanted to help.

And she couldn't be more grateful.

They were all around her the moment she filed the report, proud and determination to get justice shining in different sets of eyes.

"I'm proud of you" Spencer said, bending down to press a small kiss on her hair.

"Hey girls, keep an eye on this blondie here, would you? I'm going to see these two gentlemen out" the brunette said gesturing towards the two officers.

"Sure"

She escorted Toby and Lorenzo out on the driveway.

"Thank you, guys. I mean it" Spencer said looking straight into her friend's pale blue eyes.

"Just doin' our job" the dark skinned man replied with a kind smile. Then he excused himself and walked to the patrol car.

"When you'll catch him, don't restrain yourself"

"Oh, you'll be the first to know. Maybe I can even sneak you in the interrogation room. Off tapes, of course" Toby winked.

"Then you'll have to arrest me for his murder" the brunette retorted.

"Nah, orange is not your color" he chuckled. "Besides, who's gonna be my best man if they throw you in jail?"

Spencer's eyes grew as round as saucers before she burst out laughing.

"Ah, for a moment you almost had me there"

Toby gazed at her funny.

"Wait, are you serious?"

"Ehm, yeah…" he nodded slowly.

"Come on, you can't be serious man. Me? Your best _man_?" Spencer asked pointedly, putting emphasis on the last word. She didn't know if she should feel a little offended there.

"I swear I'll return the favor when it's your turn"

"What?"

"Well, I'd make a hot bridesmaid, don't you think?" Toby wiggled his eyebrows comically, and they both had to laugh at the ridiculousness of the conversation.

"Look Spence, you're my best friend and one of the people I care the most about. It'd be an honor for me to have you standing by my side in the most important day of my life"

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Cavanaugh" Spencer smirked. "And the honor is all mine, my friend"

"Wait, so does it mean…?"

"Yeah, of course I'll be your best _woman_ "

"Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me"

They hugged tightly and, when they let go, there were tears pooling in both of their eyes.

"Don't thank me yet" Spencer warned. "Wait until Hanna takes you shopping for your bridesmaid's gown" she cracked up at her own joke.

"You know, she already made me promise that on our wedding da-" She stopped, realizing her mistake.

"Is that so, uh?" Toby smirked, taking a step towards her. "Looks like good ol' Toby won the bet" he sang-song in triumph.

Spencer stared hard at him for a long time, sulking in defeat.

' _Damn you, Hastings. What a rookie mistake. Shame on you'_

"Aw Spence, don't make that face come on. You should be happy _I_ won. Honestly, you're the only person I know who would bet against you"

"Tobes" she sighed, "it's not really a good time to talk about this. Things are complicated and you know it"

"Bullshit" the young detective replied. "You two are meant to be. Remember Spence, there's no time like the present. Seize the day, you don't know what tomorrow will bring"

"Woah, stop it. You sound like my grandpa, it's freaking me out" she chuckled.

"Whatever. You know what I mean. And that I'm right"

"Remember me again why we're still friends?" the brunette groaned in frustration.

The guy was relentless. She appreciated Toby's words and his efforts to cheer her up, really. But she was starting to feel pressured and that made her feel uncomfortable.

Besides, with Jordan still wandering around she couldn't let her guard down.

" 'Cause you love me" the young man shrugged nonchalantly.

"That I do" Spencer sighed. "I'm heading back now. Keep me posted, okay?"

"Sure. And don't worry, we'll catch him"

"I know you will. Tell Yvonne I said hi"

"Yes ma'am, consider it done" Toby made a mock salute and ran off to his car.

Spencer shook her head, amused by his antics, and walked back to the barn.

She felt much more relieved, knowing that her best friend and one of Rosewood's finest was working on Jordan's case.

' _The girls are right, we will get through this. I promise, Hanna'_ she thought on her way back.

 **[Thursday]**

"God, honey, what happened to you?" Mona asked in mild distaste, squaring Hanna from head to toe.

The blonde knew her friend wasn't referring to her bruised face. They had already been there.

Instead, Mona was talking about her current attire: for days, now, she'd been wearing one of Spencer's baggy t-shirts and sweats. To compliment her already dreadful appearances, she had her hair pulled up in a high, messy pony tail and she was sporting massive bags under her eyes.

"No wonder Spencer flees every time you try coming on to her. How long have you been in… _that_?"

"Well, excuse me if I don't feel like dressing up" Hanna replied indignantly. "It's not like I'm expected to attend Paris fashion week, so why bother?"

"Yeah but, girl, when you opened the door I thought I had the wrong place and that I ended up in Oz" Mona waved a hand in the air. "You looked like the Wicked Witch of the West"

"For the ninth time, Mona, I was waiting for the mud mask to dry" Hanna threw her hands in the air, exasperated.

"I'm just glad there weren't witnesses. Someone might've been traumatized"

"That's it, I'm kickin' you out bitch" Hanna smirked and a moment later the both of them erupted in boisterous laughs.

"Seriously, Han" Mona said after a while, switching back to serious-talk. "How are you doing?"

"I'm much better now, honestly" the blonde smile sincerely. "The bruises are healing, I haven't had any more nightmares… I'm doing okay. And I have to thank all of you for that"

The small brunette stared at her for a long time, as if she was trying to decipher her.

"And hopefully they'll catch him soon, so I'm not worried about it" Hanna continued.

"So is this about Spencer?" Mona asked, already knowing the answer.

"What?"

"Hanna…"

"Fine" the blonde sighed, defeated. "It's just… I love her, and I know that she loves me. We've already wasted so much time, why can't we be together now?"

"She made a good point, though. Jordan's thing aside, things between you and her have changed. You're not the same people you were three years ago. I think you've got to get to know each other again before getting in a relationship"

"I know that too. But… have we really changed that much?"

It was a rhetorical question, but Hanna's eyes almost begged her for an answer.

"I don't know" Mona replied earnestly. "But you have all the time to find out"

Hanna gazed curiously at her.

"Look Han, I've been your friend for a very long time. I've been watching you pining and fawning over her for years. I've seen how Spencer was always there for you, even before realizing her feelings. I saw the two of you getting closer and closer through the years. I was there every step of the way, even if you never noticed me"

Hanna was about to say something but Mona held out her hand, stopping her.

"What I'm trying to say is, you've been together your whole life. As friends, as lovers, as partners. What you two lovebirds have is rare, Han. It's something that goes beyond time and space. And nothing, _nothing_ , can come between the two of you. So don't be afraid and just give it time. Because true love waits"

Hanna had tears streaming down her face.

She leapt forward and engulfed Mona in a bone-crushing hug.

"Look at you, Miss Vanderwaal. All sweet and romantic" she sniffled, pulling away; "What's his name?" she smirked knowingly.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Mona tried, but the slight blush creeping up her neck and cheeks gave her away.

Hanna leveled a glare on her.

"Spill"

At that, she had to comply.

 _[A few hours later]_

Hanna and Mona were still in Spencer's living room, chatting and catching up. Much to the small brunette's relief, they had finally moved on from the subject of her love-life.

They were making small talk, but there was something about Hanna that was off. She seemed to be anxious, restless. She was nervously picking at her nails and, every now and then, she would cast a glance at the wall clock.

"So, where did Spencer go, again?" Mona asked, knowing that was the cause of her friend's distress.

"She said she had to run some errands for her mother but… it's been already five hours and I still hadn't heard from her" Hanna sighed. "What if…" she started, only to stop because the thought was too much to handle.

"Oh sweetie, don't go there. I'm sure she's fine" Mona reassured, patting her shoulder.

"I don't know, I just can't shake off this really negative feeling…"

"Do you think he would go after her?"

"I don't know" Hanna said in a trembling voice. "I just wish she was here" she admitted.

And not ten seconds later the door swung open and there she was.

Hanna didn't know if it had to do with magic, fate or if Spencer had suddenly developed a sixth sense for times when the blonde was in need of her, but there she was.

Tired, sweaty and slightly disheveled.

And she had never been more beautiful in Hanna's eyes.

Her body moved on its own accord and she didn't know how it happened, but her hands were grasping Spencer's face and her lips were on the brunette's mouth and they were kissing.

After three years. The longest of her life.

"Hey, what's wro-" Spencer started to say when they pulled apart.

"Don't ever do this to me again" Hanna cut her off, pressing their bodies impossibly closer together and tucking her head in the crook of the taller girl's neck.

They were still standing by the opened door, without a care in the world. Only for each other.

"I was worried sick. Why didn't you text me? What were you do-"

This time, it was Spencer to cut her off with a slow, tender kiss. Because she had gone way too long without it.

Mona watched them with a big smile on her face, although she was mildly annoyed at being ignored like that.

"Ahem" she cleared her throat, and the girls finally acknowledged her. "I guess I'll be going now. Despite what you think, I know when I'm not wanted" she smirked at her friend's embarrassed faces.

"You're such a drama queen" Hanna groaned. "But you know what? You're absolutely right. Bye" she added with a grin and a wink.

"Han" Spencer chastised.

"It's okay" Mona interjected, already out on the porch. "I'm sure I'll find a way to get back at her"

"Whatever you say, bitch"

"Bye, Mona" Spencer said, chuckling at their antics.

"What am I going to do with you?" she looked down at the blonde lovingly.

"I'm sure you'll think of something" Hanna smiled suggestively.

"I might just had" Spencer replied, taking her chin gently between her palms and bending down to kiss her.

Without breaking apart, she ushered the blonde inside and closed the door behind her back to avoid prying eyes.

But it was too late.

Jordan had been following the brunette the whole day and he saw everything from his hiding spot.

' _Fucking bitch. You think you can take her away from me? We'll see'_.

 **[Friday]**

Alison looked up to the cloudless sky and smiled.

The weather was nice, the air warm but not muggy, and she was greatly enjoying this beautiful, summer day. And tomorrow would be even better.

At this exact time, tomorrow, she would be a married woman.

She glanced at her fiancé, whom was standing on the porch in full talk with Spencer and Jason.

He arrived the night before directly from London and immediately requested to meet all her friends, eager to introduce himself and made an impression. A good one, he hoped.

Archer's enthusiasm pushed her to organize this impromptu barbeque in her backyard. After all, what better way to introduce people and socialize than sharing a meal together?

So far, everyone was having fun and even Emily managed to remain civil. She was even being friendly with him.

Alison made a mental note to thanks her later, hoping they would clear things up and move past the current awkwardness.

That was the first time she felt happy in years. She was surrounded by her friends – her family, really – and she was in love. What could go wrong?

Everything.

They didn't see him arrive.

She was in the kitchen, slicing vegetables; Aria and Emily were helping her while Hanna gingerly sat on a stool by the counter, gushing and talking non-stop about Spencer and how the two were finally on the same page and ready to move forward.

They didn't have the time to tell her bubbly friend how happy they were for them. How she and Spencer deserved their happy ending perhaps more than anyone else in that room.

Voices from outside raised and they heard a loud, feral growl escape Spencer's mouth.

"What the hell are you doing here?" the brunette shouted.

Then, they heard it. _Him_.

"You're in my way, Spencer. Move" Jordan's voice was low, guttural. Lethal.

The four of them exchanged worried looks.

"What's he doing here?" Hanna asked trembling.

"I don't know and I don't want to find out" Aria replied, concern written all over her face. "I'm calling Toby" she added.

The others nodded and listened as the quarrel outside went on.

"I SAID MOVE, SPENCER" Jordan barked. "I have no business with you. I'm here to get my girlfriend, so back the fuck off"

"Your girlfriend?" Spencer repeated in bewilderment. "Are you freakin' kidding me? I swear Jordan, if you go anywhere near her again I'll kill you, you hear me?"

Jason was trying really hard to hold her back, while Archer stood there a little dumbfounded. They both had no idea what was going on.

"You've got to be a special kind of cunt to come here after what you did to her" the brunette yelled again. She was raging.

"Toby's on his way" Aria said, rushing out to inform Spencer.

"Good" she nodded back at her short friend.

"Spencer, for the last time. Don't get in my way" he said as he stepped closer, approaching the others on the porch. He brought his hand on his back, near his belt, and was about to grab something when the door swung open and Hanna walked out, followed closer by Emily and Alison.

"My love" the guy leered at her with a smile that made Hanna feel sick. "Come on, let's go home" he said, extending his hand and waiting for the blonde to take it.

She stepped back, moving to stand beside Spencer and their friends.

"I'm not going anywhere with you" the blonde shrieked, and Spencer wrapped her arms around her in a sideway hug.

"Baby doll" he sighed, more resigned than disappointed. "You see, I'm giving you a choice here: you can either come back to New York with me right now, and nobody will get hurt" he said, this time grabbing the item hidden behind his back. "Or, we can do it the hard way"

They all gasped in unison and took several steps back when the clearly disturbed man standing in front of them produced a gun from the waistline of his jeans.

"In any case, I will take back what's mine" Jordan said as he fired a warning shot, to show just how serious he was.

But then, all hell broke loose from there.

All happened at once. Too fast to relly register what was going on.

"Roosewood's police" Toby yelled from behind him, rushing out of the car. "Drop your weapon"

Jordan froze, realizing that this time he wouldn't be able to get away with it.

"DROP THE GUN" the other detective ordered.

Two officers had him at gunpoint.

There was nowhere to run. This time, he was really, truly screwed.

Jordan looked straight into Hanna's eyes pleadingly. But the girl he was so desperately in love with, didn't want anything to do with him. She chose a fucking girl over him.

"Hanna, please. I love you" he cried.

It was the end for him and he knew it.

"It's over, Jordan. Just give up already" Spencer interjected.

And he snapped.

"YOU SHUT UP, BITCH"

He raised his gun at her, but then changed his mind and pointed the weapon at Hanna, the one he held responsible for his troubles. The source of his despair.

"You know what, Spence?" the man laughed maniacally. "If I can't have her, then no one else will. Especially not you"

Spencer saw the movement in his gun arm and knew exactly what was about to happen. She didn't think; she didn't calculate odds or statistics or trajectories. She just acted.

By the time Jordan pulled the trigger to shoot at Hanna, Spencer had already stepped into the line of fire.

Screams and cries pierced the air and then, for just a fraction of a second everything was still. The girls were all huddled together in the far angle of the porch, unaware of everything except the sounds of multiple shots being fired.

They opened their eyes to see Jordan's lifeless body colliding with the ground.

Then, a loud thud made them jump and, next thing they knew, Spencer was in front of them, on her knees.

Archer and Toby were the first ones to snap out of their trance state and rush at her aid, startling everyone around.

But Hanna couldn't move. She didn't know how anymore. She just stood there, staring into nothingness. Random images flashed through her mind.

Yesterday, she and Spencer kissed.

This morning, they ate their breakfast in bed.

An hour ago, she was watching her friends cutting tomatoes and cucumbers.

Barely a minute ago, she had a gun pointed to her face.

And now, now the love of her life was on the ground surrounded by a bunch of people. They were crying. They were desperate.

There was blood on Spencer's white, pristine shirt.

"Oh my God" she brought her hands to her mouth.

"No. No, no, no, no, no" She shook her head.

The more her brain registered the information her eyes were sending, the more she felt her heart shattering in million, tiny pieces.

"Spencer!" She called as she finally snapped out of her reverie and ran to the brunette. "SPENCER"

"Help me put pressure on the wound! Where the hell are the EMTs?" Archer shouted.

"They're on the way" Toby replied, his baby blue eyes teary. "Please Spence, you have to hang in there"

Hanna kneeled down beside her and clutched the brunette's hand tightly.

"Don't leave me" she cried. "You can't leave me, Spencer. You hear me? I love you. I need you. Don't you dare me leave me"

Aria was crying in Jason's arms, but when she heard Hanna's sobs she pulled away and rushed to her, along with Alison and Emily.

They were all crying hysterically, begging their friend to not leave them.

Her breath was hollow and the edges of her vision began to blur. Icy agony burned throughout her chest. She heard faint voices calling her name. Pleading for something.

"I can't live without you! Please baby, please. I can't lose you. Don't leave me" Hanna sobbed.

Crumpled up on the hard wooden floor, Spencer's eyes slid shut.

The EMT's finally arrived and, while she was ushered inside the ambulance, her last thoughts before she lost consciousness went to her one, true love.

' _Hey baby, remember when we were seventeen and you asked me if we would have been together forever? I made a promise to you then. Don't cry, sweet girl. I'm not giving up on us. I'm not going anywhere'._


	21. Always and forever

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the long delay. The last few weeks have been hectic and, yeah, I've been a lazy butt when I actually had a little spare time. Not gonna deny it. Anyway, here's an update. Thank you for reading and hope you'll enjoy.**

 _Philly/Rosewood, Thanksgiving Day 2018_

Hanna stood there, frozen in place.

It was a strange contraposition with the way she had forcefully swung the door open just a moment ago, already on the verge to make a scene and release her frustration towards the person that had been waiting for her all day.

But the moment she set foot inside that room and took a glance around, every little thought that she has previously had left her mind.

She had to brace herself and lean against the nearest wall as her eyes widened in recognition and a surprised gasp escaped her slightly parted lips. She brought a hand to her mouth in a vain attempt to hold it.

' _It can't be'_ , she repeated herself over and over again in her head, while silent tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"Spencer…?" she finally chocked out, incredulously.

 **[12 hours before]**

Her day didn't start so well.

The loud, obnoxious alarm of her phone went off, marking the end of her rather peaceful sleep. However, she refused to open her eyes just yet. Instead, she lazily stretched an arm towards the other side of the bed, searching for a warm body to snuggle up to. She frowned when the only things her hand was able to reach were soft cotton sheets and what appeared to be a piece of paper.

She frowned, while anxiety started to kick in and her heart began to race.

Despite being over five months since that fateful day when Spencer was shot, Hanna was still troubled and upset whenever she would wake up in the morning and find herself alone in a cold, empty bed; she would still experience mildly panic attacks whenever she turned around only to see a vacant spot beside her. One that would always belong to a certain brunette and no one else.

Fortunately, it was a very rare occurrence.

Ever since Spencer was discharged from the hospital, the two of them had been even more inseparable than before. To the point that they finally decided it was time to move in together.

At first, it was out of necessity: Spencer had to endure a long, difficult recovery from the gunshot wound in her chest that had nearly ended her life, and Hanna was all too eager to be by her side and help her. Partly because she was guilt-ridden and she held herself responsible for what had happened, despite the brunette's many, desperate efforts to reassure her that they were going to be just fine, that it wasn't her fault and that she didn't resent her for anything.

But mostly, Hanna was still shell-shocked and utterly frightened at the mere thought of having almost lost the love of her life. Thus, the visceral need she felt to cling onto Spencer as much and as tightly as she could, if nothing else to know that she was still there, breathing and alive.

And the brunette couldn't do much else but let her.

They both knew it was not exactly one would call a healthy behavior - to hold onto each other like that - but it was what they needed the most: to feel close. To _be_ close.

So far, things worked out just fine. Or as much fine as possible, given the circumstances.

While Spencer recovered almost completely, both physically and psychologically, Hanna had a much harder time coming to terms with what happened.

For a long time after the shooting, Spencer watched helpless and in heart-wrenching agony her girlfriend crying herself to sleep every single night, only to be forcefully waken up by terrible nightmares and flashbacks of that day. She had honestly feared that the blonde was slowly but inevitably falling apart right in front of her eyes, and that she alone was not capable to hold every piece together. Not that time.

It was too much and it was clear that they needed help.

The fact that they had the most wonderful friends one could ever desire, willing to do everything and anything for them, was a blessing in itself. But even that wasn't enough.

Eventually, and strangely enough without fighting too much about that, they resorted to therapy.

It was a long process, tiring and extremely painful at times, especially when they had to pour their hearts out without filters and talk _all_ things through, but, more or less, they made it in the end and that was all that mattered.

They were at a point in their lives where they could finally let all the horrible things behind and move forward. They were healthy, happy and in love. More importantly, they were together. In spite of every single curve ball life had thrown their way.

But there were still those dreadful mornings, like today, that Hanna loathed with all herself: when Spencer was not by her side, holding her close. She absolutely detested waking up alone.

She took a few deep breaths to calm her nerves and finally opened her eyes. It was then that she noticed that, in fact, there was a letter that the brunette had left for her on their bed. With an annoyed grunt she started to read it:

" _Good morning sleeping beauty,_

 _I'm so sorry_ _I had to left so early but I suddenly remembered I had a few urgent errands to run and I was in a hurry. Anyway, I thought of a little something that will keep you busy all day, so that you won't miss me too much. You're so lucky to have such a smart and considerate girlfriend, you know? ;)_

 _Yeah, yeah, you'll wipe the smirk off of my face later. In the meantime, go getting ready: someone will come to pick you up at 9 and will drive you around the whole day._

 _See you tonight, my love. Hopefully you won't be too mad at me by then._

 _Love you always, -S"_

Truthfully, she had already forgiven her girlfriend and, by the end of the note, she was grinning like a schoolgirl with a crush. It was almost ridiculous, the effect Spencer had on her.

A good hour later, she was almost ready for whatever surprise the brunette had in store for her when someone knocked at the door of their apartment.

"Hey, you ready?" a not so happy Jason Dilaurentis greeted her a little gruffly.

" _You_?" Hanna frowned. "You're my personal chaperon for the day?"

"Shut up" he muttered, and the blonde burst out laughing at his expression.

"How she cajoled you in doing this?" Hanna arched an eyebrow a little perplexed.

"Ugh, not gonna tell ya" he replied, a little embarrassed.

She chuckled at his expenses and the two of them made their way outside and to his car, one very amused at the entire situation; the other, well… not so much.

 _[FIRST STOP]_

It didn't take too much to reach their first destination, a nice coffee shop in Philadelphia. One of Hanna's favorite places to have breakfast.

"Go inside, there's someone waiting for you" Jason urged her.

"You're not coming?" Hanna asked.

"Nope, I'll wait here" he replied. "Don't worry about me, take your time" he then reassured her with a small smile.

"Just tell me what she has on you" Hanna huffed. She was dying to know how Spencer managed to persuade her half-brother to accompany her around throughout the day.

"She blackmailed you?" the blonde tried to guess.

"…"

"She knows some of your dirtier secrets?" she was really getting the hang of this little game. "She threatened to take you with her and Ali next time they go to some boring function? She-"

The moment they entered the car, Hanna started with her barrage of questioning and poor Jason reached all too soon a new level of desperation. The girl was relentless with her interrogation and she could talk non-stop for hours. Just a cup of tea for a dark and brooding type like him.

"Hanna" Jason finally decided enough was enough. "Stop. I'm not telling you"

"Fiiine" the blonde huffed with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "Jeez, you're not much company you know?" She crossed her arms over her chest and sulked.

By all means, she looked like a little girl who had just been scolded by her parents.

"You should really go now" he insisted, smiling apologetically. "We have a schedule to follow"

"Oh my God, it has to be something big if she has you this whipped" Hanna cracked up while exiting the car. "Bye" she then walked away, still laughing. Hard.

She opened the door of the coffee shop and she immediately spotted Aria sitting at a table near the window. The small brunette looked up and waved to her with a big smile on her graceful face.

"Hey" she greeted when her friend sat down in front of her. "Sooo, isn't this exciting?" she gushed, referring to Spencer's little stunt.

"Yeah, 'bout that…" Hanna began slowly. "Spill"

"Uh?" Aria replied, tilting her head to one side a little dumbfounded.

"Apparently you're in this, too, so tell me everything" the blonde explained. "What's she up to now?" Hanna sighed.

It was not that she wasn't appreciating whatever Spencer has planned for her - far from it. In reality, she was more than thrilled to go on with this impromptu surprise. But it was Thanksgiving day after all, and she was looking forward to spend some alone time with her girlfriend before they had to go to the Hastings' for their family dinner tonight.

A waitress approached them in that moment to take their orders and, once she was gone, Aria reached inside to her purse to retrieve something. The hint of a smirk on her face.

"I can't tell you anything" she said. "I don't even know all the details. My task is simply to entertain you during this fine breakfast and deliver you this"

She handed Hanna a small envelope and the blonde recognized Spencer's script at first sight.

"She told me to make sure you opened it only when you return to the car" Aria added.

"Ugh, she's killing me here" Hanna complained, but a warm, loving smile tugged at her lips nonetheless.

Aria grinned at this, and was about to comment when the waitress returned at their table with their food and coffees.

After a nice and long awaited chat to catch up – Aria moved to Los Angeles with Ezra soon after getting married and they hadn't seen each other in a while – and after having eat their breakfast, the two parted ways with the promise to see each other later at the Hastings' party.

Hanna quickly made her way back to Jason's car – she couldn't wait to read Spencer's note.

"Here, take this" she handed the young man a cup of coffee rather brusquely before adjusting on her seat and buckle up.

Jason frowned but took the mug with the hint of a grateful smile, one that went completely unnoticed as Hanna was engrossed in her reading.

" _My baby Hanna Banana,_

 _I hope you had a wonderful time with Aria. I know how much you have missed her._

 _So, I'm sure you're going out of your mind trying to figure out what this is all about – I'm actually sorry for every single person you will meet today. Kidding, love._

 _I just wanted you to go out and spend some quality time with the people you love and care about. They missed you just as much as you missed them. Recently you have been so preoccupied with taking care of me… I just wanted to do the same. Take care of you and your affections, I mean. Even if in this odd way._

 _It's Thanksgiving day after all, and I want you to know how grateful I am - we all are - to have you in our lives. And just how much loved you are. So please, bear with me for a while and just try to relax and enjoy this precious moments with our dearest friends. And then, come to meet me._

 _I love you, sweet girl._

 _Yours always, Spencer"_

"Ahem" Jason cleared his throat, a little uncomfortable at seeing the blonde girl next to him tearing up; "Are you ready for what's comes next?" he asked in a soft tone.

"Absolutely" Hanna nodded eagerly, her voice thick with emotion.

She offered him a bright smile in between her sniffling, and she couldn't help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

 _[SECOND STOP]_

When they pulled the car in a parking lot nearby Rittenhouse Square, they immediately spotted none other than Mona Vanderwaal standing in front of a prestigious boutique.

It didn't took long for Hanna to connect the dots this time, and she all but jumped out of the car, overly excitedas she was at the prospect of doing some serious shopping.

After all, if her suspicions were correct, it would be Spencer's bank account to suffer a significant decrease at the end of the day. Nothing the brunette couldn't afford.

But then, a much more urgent thought (at least for her standards) crossed her mind, and she halted in her tracks. She turned around and walked back to Jason, that was still sitting inside his car. She opened the driver's door and took his arm, pulling him up and out onto the street.

"You're coming with us" Hanna asserted in a no-nonsense tone.

"What?" Jason actually shrieked in horror, eliciting some giggles on Mona's part.

"I have a feeling a pair of strong arms will come in handy" the blonde smirked and looped her arms through Mona's and Jason's ones, guiding them inside the first of many boutiques on her list.

However, Mona stopped her right on the door to deliver Spencer's letter, this time beforehand. Hanna snatched the folder from her petite hand and immediately dug in.

" _Okay, I already know you're in overdrive right now so I won't take too much of your time. I know I'm probably going to regret this later, but here's the thing: I'm giving you the go-ahead to dilapidate all my savings. It's a one-time thing, so make sure to pick whatever you like, because something like this, it's sure as hell, won't happen again. Don't laugh, I'm deadly serious._

 _God, the things I do for you woman._

 _So yeah, unleash the shopaholic inside of you and have fun. I can't wait to see you tonight, my beautiful girl. I already know my heart is going to skip several beats the moment you will appear in front of me in all your gorgeousness._

 _Love you, -S_

 _P.S.: I forgot earlier to tell you so I'm sure it's too late now, but it's worth a try: please don't give Jason a hard time. Well, not more than you already had. You have no idea how difficult it was to 'persuade' him…"_

Hanna chuckled goodheartedly at the last part of the note, before tucking it inside of her purse along with the others.

Curiosity was gnawing at her about Spencer and Jason's deal, but it was a matter that quickly faded in the back seat of her mind. Right now, she was a woman on a mission: find the perfect dress to wear tonight. Among other things, obviously. She owed Spencer that much, at least.

After all, the brunette had graciously offered her platinum card to her. It was a moral obligation, as a girlfriend, to look at her absolute best for Spencer after this shopping trip comes to an end.

And maybe she would be the one who'll gets to surprise her later.

 _[THIRD STOP]_

She waited and waited and waited again, but guilt never came.

So yeah, she got carried away and she actually managed to spend some thousand dollars earlier, but she swore to the God of Fashion, it was the best investment of her life. And once Spencer would see her tonight, she all but would agree with her. Or, at least, that was her excuse.

She purchased four designer dresses, three new sets of silky, luxurious lingerie and three pairs of vertiginous high heeled pumps to go with the gowns. All considered, it wasn't that much, was it?

She shook her head and smiled to herself. She had to admit that this sort of treasure hunt was getting more and more endearing.

She never realized before just how much she needed it; to go out with her friends, doing simple things, sharing a chat or a laugh and just chill. But Spencer did. She always knew what Hanna needed, always knew how to take care of the blonde and never failed to show her love.

"Are you okay over there?" Jason abruptly asked, bringing her out of her reverie.

"Yes" Hanna smiled. "I was just thinking about Spencer" she admitted as her cheeks turned red.

Jason turned his head and regarded her for a second, before concentrating back on the road.

"She's really something else, uh?" he grinned slightly. The truth was, he actually grew very close to her and grew to care a great deal about her half-sister.

"That she is" Hanna chuckled.

"You two are good together" the young man added. "I'm glad she has someone like you"

"Thank you" If possible, her blush intensified. "For today, too. I'm sure you had better things to do than drive me around and carry my shop bags"

"Oh, don't worry. It's a pleasure" Jason reassured her and he seemed actually sincere. "Besides, our dear Spence now owes me" he smirked almost wickedly.

Shopping was so out of their deal, after all.

"Just tell me already what she promised to do!" Hanna whined.

"You don't really want to know" his mood sombered. "We're here"

The blonde looked out of the window and saw the signboard of her and Spencer's favorite Italian restaurant in Philly.

"Is she waiting for me inside? I can't wait to see her" Hanna's eyes lit up.

"If you're talking about Spencer, then I'm afraid not" he shrugged apologetically. "Ali and Emily's company will have to do for now" he said as he ushered her inside.

He held the door open for her and Hanna couldn't help but think that, evidently, chivalry ran in the family. But then she frowned, remembering that Charlotte and Alison shared part of their genes, too.

Before she could get an headache thinking about Spencer's incredibly complicated family tree, she ran to hug her two best friends before sitting down with them. This time, Jason joined them and they all shared a pleasant lunch together.

Right after dessert, Emily handed the other blonde another letter from Spencer.

"She called me earlier" Alison explained. "Spence, I mean. She was freaking out"

"Why?"

"She doesn't know how you're going to react to… all of this" she made a vague gesture with her hand. "If you're having a nice time or if you want to strangle her"

"I'm loving it" Hanna giggled. "Honestly, it was very thoughtful of her. It's just… I really want to see her" she added softly, almost vulnerable.

"You're going to meet her soon" Emily reassured her. "And…"

"And?" the blonde asked expectantly, but a stern glare from Alison was enough for the tall brunette to shut her mouth.

"And you should really read her note now" Jason interjected. "We have to hit the road like now if we want to reach our next destination in time"

"Okay" Hanna muttered a little perplexed.

" _Hey babe,_

 _I hope you enjoyed your lunch. I actually wanted to join you there but I couldn't make it, I'm so sorry. But hey, your journey is almost over so it won't be too much before I get to finally have you in arms. I can't wait. Up until then, however, you have to be somewhere at four so please hurry up. There's a certain someone who is really eager to see you._

 _Love, -S"_

Hanna folded the letter and got up, along with the others. They bided their goodbyes and she and Jason walked back to the car.

In all honesty, she was started to get a little antsy.

 _[FOURTH STOP]_

Hanna had been uncharacteristically quiet during all the drive, until she realized where they were heading.

"Hey, what are you doing? Why are we going to Rosewood?"

"You have an appointment there" Jason shrugged, totally unfazed.

"But I have to stop by at home and change. I cannot possibly go to the Hastings dinner party in _this_ " she said, gesturing to her current attire. Jeans, a nice but casual blouse and her coat.

"Well, you're lucky we went shopping then"

"Mmm, I suppose" she abided.

Forty minutes later and they found themselves in the parking area of the Radley Hotel.

"Alright, my job ends here" Jason said, helping Hanna out with all her shop bags until they reached the reception. "I'll see you later at the party" he smiled shyly.

Hanna surprised him with a friendly hug and heartfelt thanks for everything he did and the two parted ways.

"Honeybunch" someone called, and Hanna instantly recognized that voice.

"Granma" she ran towards the older woman, enveloping her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh my God, what are you doing here? When you arrived? How-"

"Woah, hey breath" Regina cut her off, before the girl started with her 21 questions game; "I'm here to see my wonderful niece, obviously" she explained.

"I missed you" Hanna's smile grew bigger and her dimples popped up as she embraced the lively woman once again.

"I missed you too, sweetheart" she replied as she squeezed back. "But we'll talk later. Right now, your mother is waiting for us at the spa. Where there's a nice fruit basket and a fancy bottle of Champagne with my name on it. Courtesy of your Spencer" she winked.

The blonde chuckled and happily followed her grandmother.

"I take it she arranged this as well"

"Mmm" Regina nodded. "You know, of all your friends – and dates – I always liked Spencer better. I've known for a long time that she was the one for you. And in case you're wondering, yes: you have my blessing" she winked.

Hanna blushed profusely at her words, and the older woman couldn't help the soft smile that spread on her face. Her girls were just so adorable sometimes.

"Here, your last letter" she said as she handed her niece a piece of paper like the ones she had been collecting all day.

Hanna wasted no time in opening the envelope and read the contents:

" _My love,_

 _I don't know how many times I started over this letter. I'm sitting here trying to find a proper way to convey all my feelings for you and yet words are failing me. Maybe I'm getting too emotional. After all, that's the effect you have on me._

 _I've always took pride on my rhetorical skills, and yet whenever I found myself thinking about you, apparently I lose every cerebral function. It doesn't bother me like it should, though, because if there is something I learned from you during all these years we spent together, it's a much more important ability: to feel things with my heart._

 _See? You took me and turned me into this sappy woman, and I couldn't be more happy. I owe you everything, sweet girl. Maybe you don't realize how much you affect the people around you – in the best of the ways. You have such a big heart and you're the kindest soul I have the privilege to know. I am so proud of you, baby. So proud of us._

 _Thank you for being your bubbly, brave, compassionate, funny, beautiful human being that you are. Thank you for every laugh, every tear, every hug, every kiss, every little piece of you that you share with me. Thank you for being in my life, Hanna. And most of all, thank you for being this immense shining light that brightens my world._

 _I love you, forever and always._

 _Yours, Spencer"_

"Hey, come on now. Don't cry on me, honeybunch" Regina whispered in Hanna's hair as she wrapped her arms around her, trying to comfort her niece.

"S-sorry" the blonde mumbled, "It's just… it's just that I am so in love with her" she hiccupped.

"Don't I know it!" the older woman unabashedly snorted.

"There, there" she patted the younger girl on the shoulder. "Stop crying now, it doesn't suit you. Even if they're happy tears. When you're young and in love, you gotta smile"

Hanna giggled through her tears and managed to calm down. She offered her grandmother a gracious smile, while the woman took her by an arm and dragged her away.

"Good girl. And now, let's go to enjoy a relaxing massage. I swear that Andrew, there, has hands made of gold. Just what my poor old back needs"

And off they went to enjoy their beauty treatment.

 **[Present]**

Dressed to impress. That was Hanna Marin's mantra. Tonight more than ever.

She chose to wear one of her previous purchase: a simple deep red dress with a few white accents. The hem stopped just a little too high while the top just a little too low, showing off her generous cleavage. To match, a pair of black, vertiginous heels. She was absolutely sure Spencer would very much appreciate this outfit of hers; her underwear especially.

A coy smile spread on her face as she let herself fantasize about their after-dinner. She still didn't know that reality was bound to surpass her wildest dreams.

Ashley Marin parked her car on the Hastings driveway and the moment they set foot on the street, Hanna all but fled towards her girlfriend's house, eager as she was to finally meet the brunette for the first time since she woke up that day.

However, a new wave of disappointment hit her when in the living room she spotted every single person she knew except the person she wanted to see the most. She groaned in frustration, making several hosts of the evening turn their head toward her.

"Hey, you okay?" Melissa asked, approaching her with a cautious smile.

"Eh" the blonde shrugged, a little helpless. "Apparently your sister decided to go MIA on me today" she explained. "I'm seriously starting to worry"

"Uhm, last time I saw her she was in the barn. I think she-"

But Melissa didn't get to finish the sentence, as the blonde unceremoniously left her there.

"And there she goes…" the older sister mumbled to herself. "Good luck Spence, you need it"

Meanwhile Hanna already reached the barn – her speed could have rivaled Flash himself. She flung open the door and… froze.

The pale light of a hundred candles lit the room, and a pleasant scent of dozens of roses filled the air. Suddenly her mind brought her back to when she was seventeen and she and Spencer spend their first night together.

Through her misty eyes she noticed the silhouette of her girlfriend standing in front of her, just a few feet away. She wanted nothing more than to reach her and throw her arms around her neck, but there was something that kept her grounded to her spot.

She didn't know how, but she felt her back hit something solid behind her, maybe a wall. She let herself lean against it as her legs threatened to buckle.

The brunette moved; she walked until she filled the distance between them and then, it happened.

She bent down on one knee, a black velvet box in her hand.

"Spencer…?" Hanna whispered as her eyes filled with tears.

"Hi" the other girl smiled shyly. "Uhm, I had this speech in my head for days, now, but it's exactly as I told you. Or rather, wrote to you. I see you and my mind goes blank. But anyway, yeah…"

She was rambling. She knew she was rambling, and she couldn't do anything about that. Way to screw one of the most important moments in her life. She didn't know that, but Hanna was finding her so damn incredibly cute and adorable at the moment.

The blonde smiled at her and it was all it took to Spencer to go on.

"I wanted to do some glorious, magnificent proposal, because it's what you deserve. But then I was here, and I remembered that this place holds a special spot in my heart. This is where I realized for the first time that I wanted to spend my life with you. I want to make you happy and take care of you and I want us to be a family and I can't wait anymore. I love you so much, Hanna, and life can be so fragile – we know that all too well. I don't want to waste any more time. So I'm sorry, but I have to ask you: Hanna Marin, will you marry me?"

"…"

She wanted to scream, to move, to do something but she couldn't. And Spencer was visibly panicking. She looked up at the blonde with frightened puppy dog eyes, and her features already changed into a mask of rejection and utter despair.

And then Hanna launched herself at Spencer, knocking the poor girl to the ground.

"YES" she squealed. "Yes, yes, yes!" she repeated over and over, each time leaving a kiss on the brunette's lips. "Oh my God, yes! A million times yes"

The brunette took a hold of the smaller girl's face and brought her into a searing, mind-blowing kiss. When they pulled apart they were grinning at each other like only two young fools completely in love with one another can. Their foreheads connected.

"I can't believe this is happening" Spencer whispered in amazement.

"I can't believe I got so lucky" Hanna countered back. "You are… God, you're amazing! I love you, Spence. More than anything"

"I love you too, pretty girl. Always"

"And forever"


	22. Our fairytale

**A/N: I feel like I should warn you: I had so much fun writing this chapter. It's full of fluff and funny bickerings… but the sweetness of its contents might make you want to book an appointment with your dentist. Or your doctor, if you unfortunately suffer from diabetes. Hope you'll still like it, though.**

 **P.S.: this is also the penultimate chapter. I will post an epilogue for this story in the next few days. As always, thank you for reading.**

 _Rosewood, 3/23/2019_

"You know, you look extremely calm for someone who's going to get married in… twenty minutes" Alison quipped as she checked the time on her silver wristwatch.

"You think so?" Spencer replied arching an eyebrow. "I guess you're right. I mean, I myself thought I'd been a nervous wreck by now. And yet I feel so at peace. Like everything is going exactly as it was supposed to go. Is that weird?"

"Nah" Melissa supplied. "It's just the implicit awareness you have knowing that you're one step away to spend the rest of your life with your fated person"

There was a gentleness in her tone that actually surprised Spencer – and the other bystanders in the room, too, for that matter. Nevertheless, the brunette was moved by her sister's words.

"God, Mel" she exhaled, "Are you trying to make me cry now?" she joked, but went to hug the other woman tightly.

"Thank you" she whispered in her ear. "I'm so happy you'll be with me out there"

"Of course" Melissa replied, and her eyes getting teary as well. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be, little sis"

Veronica and Peter Hastings walked in at that precise moment and the sight of their two daughters locked in a loving embrace warmed their heart in a way they weren't able to describe. They stood there, watching Spencer interact with Melissa and Alison and even Jason, and they felt so proud of each one of them.

Most certainly the Hastings-Dilaurentis were two of the most dysfunctional families one can meet, but here was the fact: they were a family. Finally.

Years of lies, secrets, fights and revenges eventually could be put aside. They all learned a lesson from their mistakes, the most important one was that it is possible, with time, to move past old grudges and start anew.

"Ahem" Peter cleared his throat, effectively interrupting the lovely moment. "I'm sorry to intrude like this, but I'm afraid it's time to go"

"Yeah, there's a certain someone with a little case of wedding jitters" Veronica informed, chuckling at the thought of her flustered soon-to-be daughter in law.

"Ugh" Alison gulped. "Poor Em… she has all my sympathy"

"She's not going to, like…" Spencer started, and the color slowly began to drain from her face.

"What, bailing out on you?" Melissa cut in. "As if" she snorted.

"Come on Spence, you don't want to make your girl wait today of all days" Jason prodded.

The brunette took a few deep breaths and nodded, before following her parents out of the barn and out on the courtyard, where the ceremony was going to unfold.

At first she thought it was a terrible idea to get married in the same exact place where, years ago, two corps and several murder weapons – or suspected such – had been buried. But then Hanna managed to convince her – whenever has she been able to deny the blonde anything? And she had to admit it, in a weird, total creepy way this choice fit them.

After all, many good things had also happened there, and perhaps it had finally come the time to redeem the place by making new, happy memories in there. Besides, Hanna insisted on having a small, private ceremony and the Hastings' backyard seemed to be the perfect solution.

"You look exceptionally beautiful, Spence" her father said as he offered his arm to his youngest.

"Thanks" she blushed and in a moment of sudden shyness averted her eyes.

They reached the patio outside and the brunette let go of him.

"Are you really sure you don't want me to walk you down the aisle?" he asked sheepishly.

"Yes. I'm sorry, dad" Spencer smiled apologetically.

"It's okay, I understand" he smiled back and patted her lightly on the shoulder. "I'm proud of you, champ"

And he really was. Although feeling more than a little disappointed, Peter knew why his daughter refused to be escorted to the altar. Hanna didn't have her father by her side and, even though the blonde reassured them several times that it wasn't a problem and that Spencer shouldn't worry about that, they all knew that deep down the young woman was hurting. Not that she would ever admit it to still care about that despicable man. So the brunette, refusing to make her feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, decided that they were going to walk down the aisle together.

It was not only a sweet gesture on the brunette's part; it was also a symbolic imagine of their relationship and their journey together that everyone couldn't help but appreciate.

Spencer stood there, watching as their guests settled down in their seats; a click sound made her head snap in the direction of the door. Her heart stopped when she fixed her gaze on a vision of pure beauty.

The blonde was positively glowing as slowly walked toward her in her Vera Wang's white gown. She had let her hair down, covered by a long veil, and with each step she took her curls bounced slightly. Spencer was completely mesmerized.

"You look positively gorgeous" Hanna commented with dreamy eyes.

"Holy…" the brunette was at a loss of words as her breath hitched. She let her eyes roam over her figure, and a faint blush soon spread on the blonde's cheeks.

"You… Y-You're stunning" she finally whispered. "Breathtakingly so"

"Thank you" Hanna beamed.

"Ahem, so yeah…" Spencer offered her hand to her, "Are you ready?"

"It feels like I've been ready my whole life" Hanna smiled softly, gripping the offered hand an intertwining their fingers together.

It wasn't much of an exaggeration: truth to be told, the blonde wanted to elope the moment Spencer proposed to her; she claimed to feel already married to the brunette and she didn't see why they had to wait to make things official. Eventually they reached some sort of compromise when the younger Hastings insisted that the blonde should have had the wedding of her dreams.

Spencer's thoughtfulness was something that still amazed Hanna and never failed to make her melt.

They walked together down the white carpet until they reached the outside altar, where their bridesmaids were already standing in their respective sides – Alison and Melissa for Spencer, Emily and Mona for Hanna.

Golden, electric tinsels that they had previously set up through the branches of the trees all around lit up their path.

"Ladies…" Aria gave them a thousand megawatt smile as they stopped in front of her.

At first she didn't take it too well when Spencer asked her to officiate the ceremony. Of course she was incredibly honored, but it was such a huge task and she didn't feel like she was the right person for the job. But of course the brunette succeeded to talk her into it, as it was always the case with her almost-lawyer friend. Apparently, even Aria Montgomery wasn't immune to the brunette's charm.

Spencer was grinning like a Cheshire cat, still enjoying profusely her victory. Then her smirk morphed into a grateful smile and she nodded her head, signaling that they were ready to start.

"Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, we are gathered here this fine evening to celebrate the union of these two incredible women. My best friends. I can't begin to describe how great of a honor is for me to be here, today, standing in front of you. I've known them for practically my whole existence"

She took a deep breath as her eyes already started to get misty.

"Those precious memories I have of all of us as kids and, then, as we were growing up will accompany me for the rest of my life. At the time I didn't realize the depth of the love that run between our dear friends, and maybe neither did they. But let me tell you this: if there was something that we all noticed from the start, was their innate connection. A bond that has only strengthened over the years. I believe it is _that_ something we all refer to when we talk about _soulmates"_

Aria took another pause to let her words sink in.

"Sometimes we abuse of this term until it becomes a bit of a cliché, whilst other times we never truly take into account its true meaning. In this case, I can't think to a more appropriate words to describe what Spencer and Hanna are to each other. Now, I could go on and on about this and lose myself in an endless rent; I could try to narrate the Myth of Aristophanes and-"

"Oh,I know that one!" Hanna suddenly spoke up, cutting Aria off. "I think Spence once told me something 'bout this" she excitedly said, completely unaware of the dozens of stares she was receiving.

"Is in that book written by… what was his name again? Ah, Pluto!" she snapped her fingers and grinned like she had just won a round of Trivial Pursuit against her brainiac lover.

"It's Plato" Spencer automatically corrected her.

"Uh?" the blonde turned to look at her a little dumbfounded, tilting her head to one side.

"The philosopher. His name is Plato" her almost wife supplied. "Pluto is a planet. Or Mickey Mouse's dog, if you prefer"

"Oh" Hanna blushed in embarrassment. "Yeah, I totally knew that" she muttered.

Alison and Emily exchanged amused glances while Melissa unabashedly snickered. Mona just shook her head and facepalmed. A sentiment also shared by Ashley Marin.

Someone in the crowd chuckled goodheartedly, while Aria and most of the people there stared at them totally baffled.

"Ahem" the short brunette cleared her throat, and immediately all the attention was on her again.

"Sorry" was their response, as they hung their head like two scolded children.

She was about to start again when the blonde cut her off, feeling the need to make another random observation.

"Why on Earth does a mouse possesses a dog?"

"I don't know. Move on" Spencer hurriedly replied.

She squirmed as she watched Aria's eyebrow slightly twitch, a clear sign that her friend was beginning to lose her patience.

"But it doesn't make any sense!"

"Hanna, move on" Spencer shushed her.

"Excuse me, did you just shush me?!" Hanna asked incredulously.

"You guys" Aria interjected before the two could start an argument; "Maybe you forget, so let me remind you: we're trying to celebrate a wedding here. _Your_ wedding, to be exact" she snapped. "Shall we continue?"

"Oh" Hanna exclaimed. "Of course! Go on. You're doing great, by the way" she added, right when her friend was about to open her mouth.

Aria glared at her in exasperation then waited a moment and, when she was sure they were done interrupting her, she resumed her speech.

"As I was saying, these two knuckleheads here belong together. Didn't they make it perfectly clear just a minute ago?" she gestured at them with a look of total affection this time.

"Those among of you who know me will be aware that I think of myself as a hopeless romantic. I've always had a soft spot for this kind of things: forbidden lovers, overwhelming passions, whirlwind romances… Don't take me wrong, I just like to enjoy the reading of a good novel. Literature is full of such things. Who of us has never dreamed of living the kind of love that poets use to write about?"

It was a rhetorical question, of course; still, everyone nodded their head in consent.

"Well, I've lost count of how many books, sonnets, poems I've read that revolved around the concept of love, in all its forms: pure, fiery, earnest, consuming. But also tender, sweet, gentle. And yet, to this day do you guys know what is my favorite story of all times? Yours" Aria indicated the two brides.

"Every fairytale has a hidden message, a moral. Historically, its function is to teach us important lessons through metaphors and symbolisms. Just like love, they speak their own language. But every fairytale is also an adventure that captures the reader's attention and carries him into a world of magic.

That is what you did: you two showed me all the nuances of love; you taught me that if the feelings are true, they really never die. You made me believe in that kind of love that never fades, that is not meant to end: it may travel far away, but it always comes back. And most of all, you proved me the existence of magic in this world. It's all right there, shining in your eyes. That is why Spence, Han, you're the heroines of my favorite fairytale"

A stunned silence felled upon all of them, until the sound of several people sniffling broke the atmosphere.

Somewhere in the middle of Aria's speech, Hanna had found Spencer's hand again and had clasped it so tightly, the brunette marveled at the fact that she didn't broke any bone.

"Hanna, Spencer" Aria addressed them after a short moment of meditation. "You want to pronounce your vows?"

"Yeah, right. After that speech of yours I'm gonna make a fool of myself" Hanna half-joked, half-stated.

"Don't worry babe, you already did" Spencer smirked.

"Why, thank you Spencer! Really feelin' the love there" the blonde huffed.

"Well, it's true" the taller woman shrugged.

"Do you want to divorce before we even get to exchange the rings?"

"You wouldn't…" the brunette narrowed her eyes.

"Try me"

"GUYS!" Aria yelled, then sobered a little when the audience bursts out laughing. "The vows"

"Right…" Spencer nodded. "You go first" she turned to look at the blonde, who threw an icy glare her way.

"You know, what Aria said is true. Ever since the day I met you, my life has been that fairytale I always dreamed of when I was a kid. You're so many things to me, Spence: you're my beautiful princess charming, my savior, my best friend, my lover. My soulmate. Every day I wake up and thank whatever deity may or may not exists that you're still by my side. And I know nothing is ever going to change that. It may still feel a dream to me from time to time, but my love for you always keep me grounded. It is real. And endless. Eternal. I promise you'll always have in me what you'll need: a loyal friend, a faithful partner, a caring lover. And I promise to always cherish and respect you. And I was kidding earlier, I could never divorce you" Hanna beamed and with shaky hands put the ring on Spencer's finger.

"It's always been you, Spence. And I'm never, ever, letting you go. It's too late for you to backing out now" she smirked.

"That's good, 'cause I'm not going anywhere" Spencer chuckled fondly.

"Hanna" she then began to recite her vows; "Life has been both a bitch and a generous friend to me. I experienced lots of things: loneliness, pain, addiction; but also happiness, elation, fulfillment. You've been by my side for the most part, and even though we were not always at our best, there's never been a day I didn't feel loved and cared for. I owe you everything. They say when we found our other half, we are lost in an amazement of love, friendship and intimacy. It's exactly what happened to us: you're my better half, and you make me feel whole. You complete me and amaze me and I can't imagine my life without you in it. I promise I will always care for you, protect you and love you until my last breath and even after that. Because I'm sure that neither dead can do us part" Spencer squeezed Hanna's hand and put the ring on her finger.

"It is my honor and utmost joy that I pronounce you officially wife and wife. You may kiss, now" Aria sniffled, no longer able to contain the emotion.

That's all they had to hear: Hanna jumped on Spencer and kissed her deeply, eliciting cheers and also a few catcalls from their guests. They ignored them.

They pulled apart only when oxygen became a necessity, though still locked in a tight embrace. Their foreheads pressed together, their smiles matching.

"We fit perfectly together" the blonde looked up at her wife with a total enamored expression.

"We really do" Spencer pressed a soft kiss on her temple.

"I love you. With all my heart" Hanna sighed happily as she nuzzled her face in the crook of the taller woman's neck. A flat hand came to rest just above Spencer's heart.

"I love you, too, Mrs. Marin-Hastings" the brunette whispered in her hair. "You're my once upon a time"

"And you are my happily aver after".


	23. Epilogue - Happily ever after

**A/N: Okay, so… there's a scene in the first half of the chapter that perhaps should be rated M. And now that you've being warned, here's the epilogue. Enjoy.**

 _Rosewood, Christmas Day 2027_

It was a sunny but freezing cold morning in Rosewood. Snow kept falling since the day before and now laid all round about, deep and crisp and even, wrapping the entire town in its white fluffiness and a comforting silence.

The Hastings-Marin household was also unusually quiet, seeing as everyone was still fast asleep. After all, they had been up until late in the night to celebrate Christmas Eve with their friends and relatives so it was only natural for them to catch on to some well-deserved rest.

It was around nine when Hanna began to stir.

Stifling a yawn, she blinked her eyes open and tried lazily to stretch her limbs, only to find herself trapped in a warm, tender embrace. She was tucked into Spencer's side, with the brunette's arms wrapped loosely around her waist and their bare legs intertwined. A contented sigh escaped her lips as she snuggled up even closer to Spencer and rested her head onto her wife's chest, listening to her strong, steady heartbeat. Up to these days, it was still the best, most wonderful lullaby Hanna has ever heard.

She turned her head slightly and leaned up to press a soft kiss on her neck, then another on her jaw, and then another one on the cleft in her chin, until…

"Ugh" Spencer let out a low, guttural grunt and strengthened her grip on the blonde, pulling her impossibly closer and fully on top of her. "Good morning, beautiful" she husked into her ear, sending shivers down her wife's spine.

Boy, Hanna loved that raspy, sexy voice of hers.

"Morning" the blonde whispered back, stroking her cheek softly with the pad of her thumb. She then bend down and captured her lips in a slow, gentle kiss.

They pulled apart and locked gazes, losing themselves in the depth of each other's eyes; and for a moment everything was still. It was as if they were the only people existing in the world. A myriad of emotions passed between them in a matter of seconds: love, of course. But also tenderness, longing and a certain lust.

Hanna bit down on her lower lip, almost shyly. Almost.

"Han…" Spencer exhaled in warning, and her hands tightened on the blonde's hips.

"What?"

"You know perfectly well what _that_ does to me"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Hanna shook her head innocently, but the mischievous glint in her eyes gave her away.

"Sure you don't" the brunette growled as she flipped them over on the bed.

Hanna's giggles abruptly stopped when she looked up into her lover's bottomless chocolate eyes and noticed her lusting expression; Spencer's pupils were wide and dark, almost completely black, and something began to boil in the blonde's lower stomach at the sight. Warmth spread throughout her body.

She hooked her hands around the brunette's neck and with a barely contained eagerness urged her head down, crashing their mouths together in a scorching, desperately hungry kiss.

"I want you so bad" Hanna murmured moments later against her lips, slipping a hand under the brunette's shirt to caress the bare skin of her back.

" _Badly"_ Spencer couldn't help herself as she began to kiss along her wife's jaw, tracing a path all along the way to her wife's earlobe, biting down on it and sucking, certain to leave a small mark there, all the while moving her hand up the smooth flash of the other woman's stomach until she cupped her breast.

"Ugh" Hanna moaned, both in pleasure and frustration. "Really, Spence?!" It came out as a whimper, as Spencer's thumb brushed over her already stiffened nipple right then. "Why don't you put your mouth to better use instead?"

But then the unfathomable happened and she frowned. Hard. Spencer halted her ministrations to look down on her with a wary expression.

"I think we should stop"

"Wha-? No, no no no. No way. Don't you dare" Hanna shook her head energetically. "You come back here" she hissed and grabbed a hold of Spencer's shoulders, bringing her closer again.

"They're going to wake up soon" the brunette mumbled somewhat pitifully.

"No, they're not" Hanna insisted. "Come on baby, I _need_ you" It was so true, she didn't even mind to resort to a little begging.

As if to show just how sincere the statement was, she wasted no time in repositioning herself before she began to move her hips in an even growing rhythm, grinding her pelvis against Spencer's thigh, seeking relief. Spencer observed the blonde for a second, completely mesmerized, before snapping into action.

She wrapped an arm around Hanna's waist, lifting her up just enough to pull her flannel pajama shirt over her head. Then she leaned their bodies down on the bed again and kissed Hanna leisurely. They broke apart and Spencer moved to kiss and nip along the blonde's throat and on her collarbone, then her chest, before taking a nipple in her mouth while fondling the other with her hand.

The other hand was busy running down Hanna's hips, caressing the side her thighs, cupping her ass. Hanna wrapped her legs around Spencer's waist, bringing her closer.

"Spen…-cer" she panted against Spencer's neck, kissing and sucking on her pulse point. "Please"

Spencer finally, _finally_ , complied.

The brunette took her sweet time, but at the end she brought her hand where Hanna needed it the most. She cupped her covered sex and gasped slightly at the wetness she could already feel.

"You're so wet for me, babe" she moaned in marvel, and let her fingers slip under the silky garment and slid into the blonde's heated core.

"Stop teasing" Hanna groaned, her hips jerking upward and rocking against Spencer's hand at a maddening pace, craving the friction. "Aah… _Please_ , Spence"

"What?" Spencer smirked against her lips from her hovering position; "What do you want, Han?"

"You know perfectly well"

"I wanna hear you say it" the brunette grinned wickedly, while slowly circling the blonde's entrance with her index finger.

And Hanna was going insane.

"FU-" she was going to give in and say it, but then the hand that barely moments ago was between her legs went to cover her mouth. Her eyes widened in surprise. "Mmhh" she tried to mumble something behind Spencer's palm, but the brunette shushed her.

Then, she heard it.

The thump of tiny feet running on the hardwood floor in the hall.

Hanna and Spencer shared a panicked glance before hurrying to put their pajamas on and slide under the blankets. Luckily they succeeded just in time. The door of their bedroom swung open and two very lively, very overexcited children jumped on the bed.

"They's sleepin' " The younger one frowned in disappointment. "They forget?" she turned her little blonde head to look at her big brother in confusion.

"Mama" the little boy, Alex, patted Hanna's head repeatedly. "Wake up mama! It's Christmas"

"Mommy" Sophie cried, shaking Spencer's form with a strength a three years old should not possess. "Get up! Fifi wants her presents" she demanded, crossing her little arms and leaving no space for arguments.

Spencer cracked one eye open and arched an eyebrow, pretending to scowl at the little girl.

"Excuse me?" she asked with a bit of an edge in her tone, propping up in a semi-sitting position on the bed. Hanna following suit.

But Sophie Hastings-Marin wasn't impressed. At all. She was such a bright child for her age that she had figured out a long time ago the most efficient ways to obtain whatever she wanted. She looked up to her mommies with her big blue, watery eyes and pouted slightly, her protruded bottom lip slightly trembling. For emphasis.

Spencer regarded her carefully; this time, she swore she was going to resist her daughter's adorableness.

But the kid knew better - and so did Hanna, who watched in amusement the staring contest between her struggling wife and their child's resolution.

"They're at it again" Alexander Hastings-Marin commented with such seriousness the blonde had to stifle a laugh.

He climbed onto the bed and settled comfortably on her mother's lap, observing the scene with indifference, while Hanna affectionately stroked his short brown hair.

He was five years old and the spitting image of his biological mother, Spencer. He was tall and lean, with expressive brown eyes and chestnut hair. He was incredibly smart, mature and talented, too. Even their expressions and their antics were awfully similar.

But, despite their uncanny resemblance, he was a total mama's boy. Of course he loved his parents just the same, it was just that he had an incredibly deep bond with Hanna. Maybe because she was the one who actually carried him.

The same was true for Spencer and Sophie: while the little girl was biologically Hanna's (and there were really no doubts about it, seeing as she was practically her miniature replica and had inherited all her qualities as well as her temper), she was especially attached to Spencer. Sometimes even too much. And to the brunette, well… she was mommy's spoiled little princess.

It was painfully evident, at times. Like now.

"Mo-mommy" Sophie hiccupped. She learned a while ago to cry on cue and obviously thought better to share this little secret of hers. After all, it always came in handy. "Pwease. You promised, 'member? 'When Alex and Fifi wake up tomorrow, they can have their presents', you said it"

"Fi is right mommy, you said it" Alex butted in. Not that he cared that much, but he was a good big brother and always had his little sister's back.

"Fiiine" Spencer sighed in defeat, sorely regretting all the times she asked Alison to babysit her children. Surely her cousin had something to do with her daughter's ever improving ability to manipulate her and all the adults around until they cave in to her every whim.

"Thank you mommy! Thank you thank you thank you" Sophie squealed and jumped into her arms, snuggling in closer. Then, all too soon she pulled back.

"So?" she tilted her head to one side and narrowed her eyes pointedly, "Where are our presents?"

And the brunette groaned exasperatedly.

"Honey, cut your mother some slack, would you?" Hanna smiled tenderly at her youngest. "You know how cranky she is before her coffee"

"I am not!" Spencer turned her head to look at her wife and gasped indignantly.

"You so are, babe" the blonde reiterated with a chuckle.

"Mhmh, you so are mommy" two sets of heads nodded vigorously in agreement, even not knowing what their blonde mother meant. It was so much fun watching their moms bicker sometimes.

"Hey you two, just whose side are you on, anyway?"

"Mama's" they both replied matter-of-factly, as if it was obvious, and the blonde beamed in triumph.

"Ah, I see how it is…" the brunette said with an exaggerated huff, as one of her hand flattened over her chest in a gesture of mock hurt. "Alright, then. I know when I'm not wanted" she shrugged helplessly and made to move out of the bed. "I think I'll go now…"

"Noooo" Sophie cried out. "Mommy come here"

"We love you" Alex panicked too. "We were forced to say it! Mama's scary when you disagree with her" the boy sheepishly admitted.

"Damn right, kiddo" Spencer snorted and burst out laughing.

"Wha-" Hanna gasped. "Alexander Hastings-Marin, you take it back"

"Sorry ma" her son mumbled as he quickly squirmed out of her embrace and scrambled to Spencer's side.

"Look now how the tables have turned" the brunette grinned widely as tiny arms wrapped around her neck and waist.

"Traitors" the blonde muttered playfully and turned her back on them.

She watched from the corner of her eye Spencer smirking and plotting something with their children's and a moment later, the blonde felt a light tap on her shoulder.

"Mama" her little girl whispered in her ear. "We talked 'bout this and you can join us if you want. Mommy said we can make room for you"

And surely enough, there was that dork of her wife glancing lovingly at her and patting the spot on the mattress at her immediate side. Hanna wasted no time to reach her family, enveloping them all in a group hug and covering each one of them in thousands of kisses.

They all cuddled for another hour or so, immensely enjoying the sweetness of these moments together. Then, Spencer's stomach growled quite loudly and the kids giggled hysterically.

"Ugh, guess I'm hungry" the brunette said patting her belly.

"You's so funny, mommy"

"Yeah! Do it again"

As if on cue, they heard another boisterous grumble and burst out laughing again.

"Come on guys, let's go have breakfast" Hanna prompted shaking her head and smiling fondly at her wife. "We gotta feed the beast"

"Hey" the other woman exclaimed.

"No offense" the blonde kissed her cheek and took her hand, leading her downstairs. "Come on, you big baby. Kids" She called behind her back. "Don't you want to see if Santa left any present for you in the living room?"

Sophie ears perked at the word and she dashed off in a crazy race down the hall, leaving an indifferent Alex behind.

"Slow down, Fi" Spencer yelled but to no avail. "We gotta cut her down on sugars, Han"

"Something tells me it won't change anything" Hanna sighed. "I love her to pieces but, gosh… sometimes she can be such a handful"

"I wonder who she takes after" the taller woman scoffed, only to receive a stern glare from her lover.

"What? It's true" Spencer defended herself. "And I wouldn't have her – or _you_ – any other way"

And Hanna melted, because she knew the brunette meant it. She wrapped her arms around her waist and leaned up to peck her lips briefly. However, Spencer wasn't having it and she pinned Hanna's body against the wall and deepened the kiss.

"Spence…" the smaller woman breathed when they pulled apart. "We can't. The kids. Breakfast" she didn't know if she was trying to reason with her wife or herself.

"Well, I was going to have my meal earlier but someone interrupted…"

"That was rather lame and way too corny, don't you think?" Hanna arched an eyebrow in amusement.

"Yeah, I could do better" Spencer conceded. "Then again, I'm on an empty stomach and my mind is stuck on our previous… rendezvous. Some crotch-blockers are your children, by the way – OUCH" she hissed in pain as Hanna smacked her on the head. Hard.

"Don't call them that" the blonde chastised. "And what is it that they're _my_ children only when they do something that annoys you?" she inquired knowingly.

Spencer smirked and opened her mouth, a sarcastic reply already on the tip of her tongue for sure.

"You might want to think about your answer" Hanna warned.

"Mama, what is a crotch-blocker?" Alex suddenly spoke up, his eyes sparkling in curiosity.

' _Crap!_ _Since when was he here? Long enough, apparently…'_

"SPENCER! Honestly…" Hanna threw her hands up in exasperation. "You deal with what you did. Now"

She pushed the brunette away and walked to the kitchen. She needed coffee.

"Mommy?" the little boy insisted, this time turning his inquisitive eyes to Spencer.

Like his mother, he never passed up opportunity to learn something new. And just like his mother, he was restless and kept insisting until he obtained all the info he was looking for.

"Urgh" she scratched the back of her neck in a desperate attempt to buy herself some time, all the while her son continued to stare at her in wonder.

' _Shit. I'm screwed'_

 **[A few hours later, Dilaurentis-Field's household]**

"Oh, I almost forgot" Spencer said as she stood up from the couch and went to retrieve something in her purse; she hurried back and handed Alison a bottle of wine. A very expensive one. "This is from Mary. I'd received one, too"

"Oh, that's very nice of her" the blonde smiled.

"Yeah" Emily nodded her head in agreement as she took a hold of her fiancé's hand. "By the way, where is she now?"

"London" the other brunette replied. "She, um, she's staying with Charlotte and Rollins for a while. Then she said she would like to go to Peru. Probably to meet an old flame or something like that" she chuckled slightly and breathed a sigh of relief when neither Alison nor Emily stiffened or reacted badly to the news.

Things didn't go smoothly for them, but she was immensely glad – and relieved – that, in the end, the two found their way back to each other. It happened five years ago, when Elliot Rollins fell in love with Charlotte.

They met during his time working at Welby, where she was a patient, and something clicked between the two of them. They had a brief affair before Alison eventually found out and kicked him out.

Finally free to live their romance out in the open, they decided that nothing really linked them to Rosewood, well not anymore, so they booked the first flight for England and they off they went.

The end of her marriage left her heartbroken and pregnant with twins, but in time she recovered. Thanks to a certain tall, athletic brunette that now sat at her side and held her hand.

Emily moved in with her, helped her throughout her pregnancy and after she gave birth to two wonderful little girls, Lily and Grace. And in the meantime, they finally admitted their true feelings for each other. Ever since then, they were the happiest their friends had ever seen.

"Well, it seems like every piece of the puzzle fell into place, at the very end" Aria commented, resting her head on Ezra's shoulder.

"Yeah, it seems so" Hanna replied, and her voice was a little too tight and her eyes a little too misty. She cast a glance at the kids that were quietly playing together in the adjoining room, then turned to look at her friends, one by one.

Emily and Alison, Aria and Ezra, Toby and Yvonne, Caleb and his latest girlfriend, Karen. Mona and Jason - yeah, they were still trying to get used to that. And then, Melissa and her husband, whose name she still couldn't remember, even after all thise time.

They all looked older, wiser and happier.

They were married, or about to get married; they had kids.

They had jobs and responsibilities and commitments, but all considered, life didn't treat them too badly. On the contrary.

More importantly, they were still there, together. No matter what.

It had to mean something.

A hand she knew all too well came to rest on her stomach. She looked up and locked gazes with her wife.

God, she was _so_ in love. With Spencer, with their children, with their life.

"I love you" she whispered on her lips.

"I love you, too" Spencer whispered back, and Hanna could feel it in their kiss just how true and heartfelt her words were.

"It's not going to stop"

"What?"

"Falling in love with you" Hanna replied. "It won't stop. Day after day, year after year. I feel like I love you more and more with each passing minute. It's quite frustrating, actually" she chuckled between her tears. Happy tears.

"I know" Spencer smiled softly. "I feel this way, too"

And Hanna nearly kissed the life out of her.

They pulled apart when their friends awkwardly reminded them of their presence in the room.

Spencer blushed slightly and wrapped her long arm around the blonde's shoulder, pulling her closer. Hanna rested her head in the crook of her neck, bringing their intertwined hands over her baby bump.

In the year that had yet to come, they were going to welcome another tiny little person in their happy family. It was an exciting, yet unsettling thought. Two kids, and she still wasn't used to such levels of anxiety. Having a baby was one of the scariest thing one could experience.

But for now, they were still in their bubble, surrounded by their loved ones, and everything was perfect.

Outside, the world was cold. Snowflakes trickled down from the sky, the streets were frozen and a bone-chilling wind blew over the town. Christmas' lights wrapped around doorways and dangling off the edges of rooftops brightened the night.

Inside, the fireplace was on.

Alison and Emily, perfect hostesses, were passing around mugs of eggnog and hot chocolate. Aria was entertaining all of them with anecdotes only a successful writer could come up with, making everyone laugh.

She chuckled along with the others, even though she hadn't listened to a single word her small brunette friend had just said. It didn't matter. This was her family.

Her big, loud, caring, protective, at times overbearing and overwhelming, but always extraordinarily beautiful family. And nothing else mattered, because she felt so warm, so loved, and exactly where she was supposed to be. She closed her eyes and grinned like only a fool who has watched all her dreams come true could; she had everything she ever wished for since she was a child. And she couldn't be more grateful, feel more happy or fulfilled.

Yeah, Hanna Marin-Hastings was definitely, irremediably, incredibly in love.

She glanced up at Spencer only to found the brunette already gazing down at her, knowingly. Of course she knew. She was always going to know what went through her head and her heart. They felt the same way, after all.

Their hearts beat as one. They always had, and they always will.

 **A/N: And that's the end. As you know (maybe), this is my first fanfic ever, so it holds a special place in my heart. I don't want to be too cheeky, but I would like to thank every single one of you who stopped by to read this story, leave a review, a message or something. It really meant a lot to me.**

 **While I was writing this chapter, I realized that there were a lot of things that I was letting out; a lot of things that kept popping up in my head and I wasn't able to insert here. In fact, the chapter didn't go at all as I originally planned. The fact is, I'm not ready to say goodbye to this little fictional world yet, and I would like to write something about Hanna's pregnancy. Sooner or later, I will. Just so you know, if you're interested or if you maybe have any suggestions. So yeah, that's it. Thank you again!**


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